34 - 1227 - 8 months ago

Whats the best way to get my man in the mood, he usually is but there are times when he just turns over and go's to sleep. We just got thru with him cheating on me 6 months ago ,he begged me not to leave him which I tried a few times but he says we are married and you are stuck with me forever. The look on his face the fear of him losing me , made me stay and of course I love him so much. It's still freash in my head it changed me for the worst I'm doing things the would hurt him not cheating tho. He's asked me to move on but i cant the affair was emotional, it went on for 2 months i have seen text saying they love each other , but he denise loving her . Ok so we have amazing sexy since then and i would like to keep it like that. I want him to be sexually satisfied., but i don't know how to keep him emotionally satisfied I'm attracted to him so much and he know what I think cuz i do tell him that he is sexy all the time but i did notice I don't really touch him just to kiss him

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11

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8 months ago

Should definitely leave him.... Any man that cheats on his wife is horrible and if he says he doesn't love that new woman he's freaking lieing

curtis - 37yo - level 15 -
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7 months ago

Well he won't answer none of my questions so that i can move on and put it behind us , i just want to know why and why does he want me to stay.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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8 months ago

I don’t think you should leave you did marry him and Infidelity happens if you love him stay with him make him go to see a therapist at least he told you about it after you caught him. My wife cheated on me too I called her she told she was telling him that she loved him but she still denies it she tried to make it seem like I was crazy but I did marry her I do have kids with her and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep my marriage together that’s why I decided to stay for a while she was wanting to leave I thought she was going to leave for this other guy and tear our family apart but something came snapped inside of her and she came back to her family. Now trying to trust her that’s a whole Nother story I try but I keep trying I keep finding myself looking investigating and I don’t want to be that guy I know what happened she knows what happened no the hardest part is that she hasn’t come clean about it and hasn’t told the truth yet and she probably never will but I know if she knows I know and and that should be enough for me so hardest thing you’ll ever do is to stay with someone that cheated on you especially when she told me that cheating was a dealbreaker and that’s what she did..... Good luck to you and Godspeed!!!

Clinton Pebbler - 39yo - level 32 -
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8 months ago

Seems like to me you both have a sexual attraction than a real love bond. If you want it to work then you may need to seek counseling or do better at focusing on other things besides sex that’s intimate

Ariel - 28yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

Dump him and let us get it on @Delia

FGMorg - 23yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

Unfortunately when that bridge has been crossed theres no coming back from it. I also agree with the rest of the ladies

ashley - 34yo - level 27 -
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8 months ago

I'm sorry but once a cheater always a cheater, leave him n find yourself a good man and someone who will truly love you. All the best!

Dee - 33yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

Leave him! You don't cheat on your wife, why be married then! Marriage is between 2 people, not 3 or 4

Nicolene - 18yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Brooooo leave that dude

Angela - 22yo - level 23 -
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8 months ago

Guys like to be cuddled and pampered just as much as girls do. I went thru something similar and he came back. But we have both had to put work in and I needed to start giving him attention too.

Kimberly - 31yo - level 4 -
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8 months ago

It's more than just saying you love him. If your other actions, not just during sex say otherwise then he may still be feeling dissatisfied. try to work past the infidelity on your own, and if you cant then it's not fair to either of you to continue.

Marc - 31yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

If you want to work things out I suggest married counseling. However his comments about you being stuck with him are concerning. If you do want to stay married you will have to work on healing and forgiving him for the infidelity

Lacretia - 31yo - level 10 -
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8 months ago

Personally, sweetie, I could never stay with someone who cheated on me to that degree I’d always be wondering if it was happening again. Know your worth, girlie.

Alexandra - 36yo - level 50 -
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7 months ago

I cant leave him i dont know besides loving him, but i just can't stop thinking about them t together he lies about it so i cant get any answers if i had honest answers then i think i can move on.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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8 months ago

I know it's a hard decision to make. I'm in the same place right now. I've tried to speak his interest. And I don't think its helped. It doesn't help we are in 2 different states right now. I definitely am going to watch at the comments. On your post to.

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Leave him.

Diogo - 24yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Girl you need to get away ASAP!! That is a toxic relationship! If you've tried to work things out and it still hurts that bad, you've gotta find your own way! Someone who will make you happy and not have you worrying if they're gonna cheat again or don't wanna do romantic stuff 😤😤💖

Mari - 17yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

It takes 18 months + to get past the hurt.

Kaye - 56yo - level 31 -
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6 months ago

Not a believer in therapy or marriage counseling. I'm a believer in soulmates. You either married yours or you didn't. His messing around is either a part of what you wanted or a reason to stop wasting your time. Bad marriages need to end, not be fixed. This from a person who divorced after 30 years. I did everything recommended. I studied to be a marriage counselor when in college. You cannot find your soulmate, nor can your husband while you are trying to bring back to life a dead horse. There is no greater act to announce the ending of a marriage than infidelity. The act is a form of removal and has very, very little to do with sex.

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7 months ago

Sounds like you are having doubts and those doubts are in the way of your bonding with him. If you believe that you can get past this and that he won't cheat again then you should try dedicating yourself to healing yourself. You are the woman for him, he wants to be with you and if there are any problems they can be worked out through communication. Once we are dedicated and committed then all things are possible.

Jason - 34yo - level 28 -
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7 months ago

Cheating is a big deal breaker. You should think about your happiness. If you are not happy with him and nothing change . Maybe you should leave him. Marriage counseling maybe a good idea too

Missy - 39yo - level 18 -
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7 months ago

Make sure you’re both on the same page and the effort is mutual. If it is not then you should walk away.. life is too short..

Juan - 22yo - level 2 -
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7 months ago

No one can tell you what to do. Every person is different and every situation is different, even if you are married. If you love him and you believe that despite everything, he loves you too, then you have to figure out if working through the affair is worth it. No matter how much you love each other, that's going to be a very difficult thing to do. Once trust has been broken, getting it back can take a very long time (years even) if ever and it will mean a lot of work for you both. He has to except that since he is the one who broke the trust, he essentially has to be willing to jump through your hoops to get it back and have the patience to do this. You have to figure out if you can ever trust him again and if so, what you need from him in order to do that. You both have to take accountability for your role in things going badly in your relationship and if you are both willing to do all that, then therapy is probably your best option in order to succeed. If one or both of you aren't up to the challenge, then calling it now before anyone puts in more time and effort or causes more pain is probably the smartest thing to do despite the pain it causes.

Selena - 31yo - level 6 -
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7 months ago

If you both love each other then let the past be the past and act like newlyweds and move on.

Blake - 51yo - level 15 -
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7 months ago

You're amazing and a person of very high value!
I'm male, married 3 years so still figuring this whole thing out myself!
When I'm exhausted and my wife is in the mood she usually arouses me with a hj or bj, always works! 😅
If he's more alert, seduce him. I love pursuing my wife, but sometimes it's nice to feel chased as well!❤️

Finally, I would recommend the blog tolovehonorandvacum.com. The articles cover everything from sex (a lot about sex!) but also other relationship aspects too like cheating. Might provide some good insight!

Philip - 28yo - level 19 -
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7 months ago

Should definitely consider what you feel is best for you regardless of how he feels. Obviously i don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship but I was in a relationship similar to this. it’s not healthy. You deserve a healthy non manipulative relationship. when you take on others emotions as your own (feel x emotion because he shows y emotion) such as staying because he is scared of losing you. You are not doing what's best for yourself. you are actively going against that you know is best for yourself. And the price is high you are keeping yourself from enjoying something better which doesn't always mean a new person it could be just being alone for sometime and allowing yourself to heal from being cheated on etc. So that you can later on participate in a healthy relationship. He has already betrayed the relationship you don’t have to have so much loyalty to this relationship.

Also attraction Is very mental if he cheated on you his head might not be in the relationship anymore.

If you ask yourself why am I still in this relationship? and the reasons only include him and his emotions then you may not be in the relationship for the right reasons. In certain matters you need to come first regardless of how others feel.

For more help check out this book “Men Don’t Love Women Like You” It really helped me gain the confidence to find a man who appreciates me and would never betray the relationship or let me betray myself.

Good luck! Wishing you a happy healthy self-love journey

Jennifer - 26yo - level 9 -
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7 months ago

It just seems really sad on both your parts. I suggest counseling.

Neecee - 43yo - level 14 -
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7 months ago

IMO it seems like you may be trying too hard. Constantly putting yourself out there, how you can be better, and blaming yourself for what happened. Probably asking yourself a lot of what if questions "What if I. ........... More?" Or what if did this out that.. How can I make sure he's happy..... All these types of things will make you crazy! U have to remember 1st that its not your fault, you are perfect the way u are... That's why he married you. Numver 2, you need to stand your ground and stand up for yourself and demand respect whixhwver way u feel u need. Weathwr through councilling or leaving or whatever. You dont need to listen to anyone here, u know if your heart what's right.

Yvonne - 33yo - level 11 -
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6 months ago

Thank you

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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7 months ago

Have you tried asking him straight foward no bull?.... also there are games..cards.. clothes.. classes.. books..and movies have you tried all those things?

Rene - 33yo - level 31 -
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7 months ago

Leave him. If he did truly loved you he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.

Nancy - level 15 -
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7 months ago

Communication is the biggest key to problem solving. And sometimes assistance is needed for helpful, honest communication. Couples Therapy might help you understand where he's coming from, help him understand why it's still hurting you, and provide a framework for figuring out how to have better conversations together in the future. Best of luck to you both!

Christine - 29yo - level 45 -
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8 months ago

A wise women once told me A leopard never changes it spots and. She wouldn’t. Be wrong having gone through it is what brought us here now he live in a different state and tells me we are meant to be together and that we are still together but every profile says he is single and is in dating sites so can you ignore him talking to other peolpe and sleeping with other people always question your worth and feel like less of a person when you aren’t but if so stay you’d be a more understanding person than me I’m not saying all are the same but

Mike - 37yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

Leave him if you can't get over it. It is nog fair to him nor to yourself to try and keep up the relationship when you are not fully in. Married or not, if it isn't working out it isn't working out.

Lieselotte - 26yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

I think it would be better rethink the agreements in your relationship. Maybe open the relationship could be an option but yes find some counseling and find out if the relationship can continue or not. You don’t deserve Be with someone in a painful mood and without trust .

Yarely - 30yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

I suggest marriage counseling. Also if he is the breadwinner having things picked up around the house when he comes home will help since he will be coming home to an orderly environment and not chaos. Additionally sometimes men just need to decompress after work (watch the game etc). Finally, If you honestly cant get past it and dont see yourself getting past it, then get out. It isnt emotionally healthy for you if he continues to cheat on you. Ultimately, the only person who can truly make oneself happy is themselves.

William - 35yo - level 41 -
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8 months ago

You deserve a better man, seriously. I think you should break up with him and move on. He is manipulative and egoistical.

Anastasia - 22yo - level 40 -
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8 months ago

You can se some porno movie and take ideas

Karen Mendoza - 28yo - level 12 -
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