1 month ago
No one can tell you what to do. Every person is different and every situation is different, even if you are married. If you love him and you believe that despite everything, he loves you too, then you have to figure out if working through the affair is worth it. No matter how much you love each other, that's going to be a very difficult thing to do. Once trust has been broken, getting it back can take a very long time (years even) if ever and it will mean a lot of work for you both. He has to except that since he is the one who broke the trust, he essentially has to be willing to jump through your hoops to get it back and have the patience to do this. You have to figure out if you can ever trust him again and if so, what you need from him in order to do that. You both have to take accountability for your role in things going badly in your relationship and if you are both willing to do all that, then therapy is probably your best option in order to succeed. If one or both of you aren't up to the challenge, then calling it now before anyone puts in more time and effort or causes more pain is probably the smartest thing to do despite the pain it causes.
Selena - 31yo - level 6 -