6 - 216 - 8 months ago

I have lost my marriage. I don't want to let go. I've tried everything. Put him first. Which I should have done before. Trying to be a better person.
He doesn't want to hear my feelings and when he does he turns it around that he is the victim.
I've found out he has been stalking everything I do for years. When he is the one who thinks it's ok to cheat because we where fight etc.. but it's just talk ? Sexting a hooker and 2 penis pictures is cheating. These things destroyed me. But I still love him and pray he opens his eyes up before Imcgone

Carolann - 55yo - level 5

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7 months ago

I have just been through this. I can't diagnose but his behaviour sounds to be very very narcissistic. If you aren't familiar with the word, look it up and their traits and go on quora.com and you will see many stories of people on very similar situations and they are all very supportive.

Narcissists destroy you and pretty much everything around yoiu and relationships. If he has been watching you for years it suggests he is a covert narcissistic. Basically I was told I fell in love with myself...they saw traits in me they liked, we got together, I was the 'supply' and then he found another supply whilst with me and I was like how could a person just change so quickly etc.

They recommend no contact is best with people like that but do your own research and see what works for you.

Jasmine - 38yo - level 48 -
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7 months ago

Went through the same thing. U need a better support system. Seems like he doesn't deserve you, you deserve better. Men that do those things don't change. U will always love parts of him but u need to move forward and trust me , even tho I'm the one who finally left. It was still a huge grief period. This article is very helpful and after read around the site. Really helped me a lot. You have already taken a good first step by reaching out online for advice. But don't confuse your need for wanting encouragement to stay with being honest with yourself. Everyone's healing is different . Best of luck. you got this ❤

Read this webpage
https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-tips-to-navigate-common-stages-of-divorce/?li_source=LI&li_medium=popular17

Heather - 38yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

almost seems like l know you from a previous life. Seems like I don't want to see or can't see the obvious red flags in the beginning and believe that it will workout if we try hard enough (that might be true if both parties are working at it-history has shone me that I misjudge how much effort they are willing to put forth) So needless to say l have had to pay through years of pain misery and heartache in 3 long relationships (l don't learn quickly); And have had to grow up and/or smarten up on the tail end of the relationship. Hopefully, if there is a next one, I pray that I will iron out all the wrinkles, ask all the questions, take it slow and pay attention to their actions not their words. I am 48 yns old I have always been an upbeat smiling helpful caring person that is gullible, overly trusting, aloof, somewhat needy and petty who has a hard time expressing and communicating himself, that wants a little nurturing cuddle and attention at the end of the day from someone special. As innocent as this may seem that a lot to put on anyone else I have to lean to do that for myself by not dictating where and whom it comes from. thank you for sharing!!!

Trevor - 48yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

No thank you for sharing.

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

You first, move on. Your first phrase has the answer or stay and later hurt your kids like my parents did to me and my siblings. You have tried, how long do you want to keep trying?

Madgscherly - 26yo - level 39 -
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8 months ago

We don't have kids. I've tried for 3 months this time. We have had this problem before. But always work through it. Not this time.

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

See if he would consider going to marriage counseling.

Justin - 29yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

We are trying a marriage counseling program. Since he works in Texas.so far it been ok. But I really wonder if he is just doing this because.

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

I feel for you... I swear I could have written this myself. He's destroyed any hope I had over the last year and we even moved to his hometown last December so I'm stuck here without a comfort in the world. Before we got here he was my best friend. Now I barely know him... I've tried it all and from every angle. He keeps up this game he's playing though and acts like it's all my fault and that I'm the only one who needs to better myself. Then he attacked me last night from behind... well best believe I'm outta here as soon as I get a leg to stand on... you should do the same cuz it doesnt get better. I know from experience. Oh and I'm 6 mths pregnant with his kid. Tell yourself you are better than he makes you out to be... you are. Dont let him break you down like mine did.

Mary - 36yo - Living together - 2 - Moravian Falls, United States - level 16 -
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8 months ago

It's to late he has. I can say he has only been physically active 1 time. I would rather have my ass beat then this emotional abuse.
He works construction so he is gone alot. Now he is going to a job in Texas and isnt giving me the address. I guess he has pushed me into divorce.

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Please do what you know is best, don't line yourself upfor anymore headshots. He's shut you out, shut him out. Make every plan in the dark and dont give him a clue as to what you're up to. It can be done. And reap the rewards when they start to roll in. Im so sorry it came to this. You sound about as over it as it gets. I understand the void that cannot be filled and the emptiness, feelings of hope and despair. But dont fight anymore for what will never be. Fight for what you can be without that. Walk hopefully into the future. Do it for yourself, shit do it for me and the people like you and I who didn't give themselves the choice to actually make a move in the positive direction. I wish you a lot of luck and hope you get out clean. 🤞

Mary - 36yo - Living together - 2 - Moravian Falls, United States - level 16 -
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6 months ago

I'm sorry I didn't see your message. I hope things are ok for you. Things have settled down for the moment. But I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you ever need a ear. We can bounce things off each other.
Not sure if we are allowed to give our email out but what the heck skipamoonranch@gmail.com

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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