102 - 1660 - 6 months ago

Is it fair for your partner to give his loyality to his sister over his lover?

Kelly - 52yo - level 25

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6 months ago

I'm of the opinion that when the relationship with your partner is serious and long term, you both become each other's top priorities. At that point, family only becomes prioritized in a crisis. Boundaries are healthy and important.

Regina - 23yo - level 18 -
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6 months ago

I believe that when a man or woman is married that their spouse is or should be the top priority. Siblings can still be supported and loved; they should just not come before a spouse in my thought process.

Jesse - level 8 -
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6 months ago

Are you married? If so no! Is this a long time relationship? Again No! Is it someone you just met? Then yes!

Billy - 60yo - level 26 -
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6 months ago

I'm not sure it's fair to ask someone for unconditional loyalty at all. Not knowing the situation makes this difficult to answer, but if a person feels he has to side with one person he cares about against another person he cares about, he should feel able to decide which thing to side with based on his own beliefs or opinions. A loving relationship should allow and respect that choice, wherever the chips fall.

Rebekkah - 41yo - level 33 -
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5 months ago

That was a great answer!

Lorraine - 28yo - level 39 -
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6 months ago

Family is important but there also needs be boundaries in how involved the sister is in YOUR relationship.

Rosio - 32yo - level 20 -
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6 months ago

👏🏼

Charlene - 39yo - level 37 -
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6 months ago

This can be based on the length of the relationship but if they have be dating for a while I think your loyalty should reside with your lover

Ron - 37yo - level 20 -
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6 months ago

N0

Rashad - 31yo - level 25 -
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6 months ago

No not ok 1 bit

Jamie - 33yo - level 5 -
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6 months ago

No you stand by your partner rightir wrong.

Luke - 27yo - level 15 -
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6 months ago

Absolutely not

Derrick - 33yo - level 15 -
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6 months ago

No

Daliso - 30yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

Nope

Chelsie - 29yo - level 15 -
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6 months ago

Aw hell naw

Jalisa - 18yo - level 20 -
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6 months ago

Depending on the situation, he shouldn't blow off his lover for his sister but he shouldn't do the same to his sister maybe invite the lover along.

Tiffany - 27yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

It's wrong on all levels to place any family member over your spouse.

Nicholus Baker - 33yo - level 18 -
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6 months ago

No

Kei - 30yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

Not fair. Loyalty to both equally.

Jim - 42yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

Nup

Ankita - 28yo - level 19 -
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6 months ago

No. Absolutely not.

Anna - 19yo - level 21 -
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6 months ago

It’s called partners for a reason. Your significant other should be your number one loyalty. Priorities and boundaries are part of every healthy relationship.

Melissa - 37yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

Not always. First of all Rights right and wrongs wrong, second you may have grown up with your sister but that doesn't mean that she gets to trump your lovers opinion. Loyalty comes with trust to an extent, and if you allow your sister to "win" all the time, your lover will feel that she has something over her. Which leads to disrespect and rivals.

Kate - 25yo - level 19 -
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6 months ago

Not at all. The bible says to leave your mother and father and become one with your bride, I don't recall a clause that said "unless your sister needs you". My husband would fully support my answer. #AskMeHowIKnow 🙄

Charlene - 39yo - level 37 -
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6 months ago

If you're married nope

Ed - 28yo - level 20 -
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6 months ago

Depends on the situation, character, priority and his decision.. I don't own him after all, we are sharing our lives together

Randa - 27yo - level 2 -
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6 months ago

Depends

Mandi - 38yo - level 6 -
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6 months ago

It really depends on the circumstances

Brandy - 46yo - level 7 -
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6 months ago

It takes balance. You can't rightly abandon either.

Andrew Wright - 23yo - level 13 -
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6 months ago

It depends

Justin - level 13 -
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6 months ago

Uhhh... YES!?!?
Like come on... My love isn't aloud to get pissed about that or if I have to cancel plans with her cuz of my mother as well!

Matt - 24yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

No

Travis - 31yo - level 6 -
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5 months ago

Yes family first, as long as you still show your spouse the same loyalty and respect then it's alright.

Ashley geiger - 34yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

No.

Tracy - 32yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

No, unless she is right amd the lover has been proven wrong. You must have 100% facts though. Other then that you should always side with your lover and always protect them!

Amanda - 47yo - level 6 -
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5 months ago

These two things shouldn't have to be at odds. But if they are, unless the decision means you're being treated poorly let family work family stuff out. My sister and my wife have been pretty close, and pretty distant. But as long as I'm not hurting my wife she'll support me being there for my sister when needed

Mike - 34yo - level 7 -
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5 months ago

Depends on the situation. Usually, the wife should come first, but sister should come before girlfriend. It really depends on what 'loyalty' means

Rachel - 21yo - level 19 -
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5 months ago

🤷🏾‍♀️

Melissa - 39yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Yes

Tanesha - 37yo - level 14 -
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5 months ago

No , your partner needs your loyalty because you guys might end up together forever

Festaucia - 19yo - level 3 -
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5 months ago

Depends how far along the relationship is. Engaged would be the point wheee I'd say no.

Rhett - 47yo - level 23 -
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5 months ago

Blood over boobs

Haley - 20yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

No.. period. Spouse is most important

Tony Koen - 49yo - level 7 -
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5 months ago

I think at first a partners loyalties naturally lie with their families because they have known them longer. But as a relationship grows and becomes more committed than their loyalties should begin to shift as they are developing their own families at that point. If their loyalties still lie with their own families than that should be an indicator of their lack of trust in their partners and/or their intentions for the future...

Debbie - 38yo - level 9 -
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5 months ago

Blood is always thicker than water. If you are with someone long term and the choice hurts you then no it's not ok.

Kathleen - 26yo - level 10 -
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5 months ago

Depends on how close you are

Raigan - 39yo - level 9 -
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5 months ago

It's relative but mostly no

Mapani - 18yo - level 9 -
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5 months ago

Absolutely not, if they are married, if they are just dating then that’s a different story.

LeBaron Cooley - 40yo - level 17 -
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5 months ago

Spouse is first priority. Siblings, and other family members come after.

Troy - 47yo - level 5 -
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5 months ago

Not if you’re married... however family and spouses aren’t going anywhere so great effort should be given by all to come to good terms

Serina - 28yo - level 11 -
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5 months ago

Sometimes yes, but not all the time.

Brittiney - 33yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

No

Michelle - 42yo - level 4 -
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5 months ago

I can understand at some point. Family is important, if he closes to her, it’s understandable.

Romuald - 26yo - level 23 -
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5 months ago

No

Terri - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Only if you are the sister 😂

Lola - 29yo - level 26 -
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5 months ago

Blood comes first your partner is family their is a difference

Ash - level 5 -
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5 months ago

He doesn't have one.

Tiana - 18yo - level 8 -
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5 months ago

Family is important but I feel like there has to be boundaries when it comes to their involvement in your romantic relationship.

Nadine Morales - 32yo - level 31 -
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5 months ago

No. You should put your partner first above everyone except God

Kristin - 33yo - level 4 -
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6 months ago

'm of the opinion that when the relationship with your partner is serious and long term, you both become each other's top priorities. At that point, family only becomes prioritized in a crisis. Boundaries are healthy and important.

Tia - level 12 -
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6 months ago

No

Tia - level 12 -
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6 months ago

Situation dependant, it isn’t about who you are loyal to, it’s about who you agree with and who is in the right or wrong, be true to yourself and regret nothing

Adam - 25yo - level 14 -
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6 months ago

No

Alex - 31yo - level 5 -
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6 months ago

It would have to depend on the situation. In a healthy relationship I would hope that you would support each others loyalties to the important people in their lives.

Jamie - 38yo - level 13 -
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6 months ago

Yes but only to a certain degree, there should be boundaries and he should never choose the sister over you more than 50% of the time

Cindy - 22yo - level 12 -
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6 months ago

If you are in a serious relationship and really love your partner they should be you first priority

Melani - 24yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

No your partner is first

Richard - 55yo - level 30 -
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6 months ago

Yes

Angie - 24yo - level 23 -
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6 months ago

It depends how long they have been together. Ideally it would be equal

Claire - 18yo - level 10 -
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6 months ago

Lover yes, spouse no

Raylene - 52yo - level 24 -
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6 months ago

Absolutely not. It is however a common problem. Loyalties often get confused when family of origin is involved. Does that make it right or acceptable, no. You should have that same protective nature over your partner as you do your family, and honestly, it should take precedence.

Jenny - 31yo - level 27 -
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6 months ago

I’m tired of the “family is everything” motto. I forget who said it and what the exact quote is, but it’s something along the lines of “bonds made of blood are thicker than those made of the waters of the womb” which is to say that those we choose to spend our time with are ultimately closer to us than those who we had no choice with. I am of the opinion that at some point your significant other is very much more important than your nuclear family.

Nate - 20yo - level 32 -
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6 months ago

It is both sides of the family can get together so my partner and I spaned time with his side and my side of the family we are closed to our family.

Jeda - 34yo - level 10 -
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6 months ago

It is both sides of the family can get together so my partner and I spaned time with his side and my side of the family we are closed to our family

Jeda - 34yo - level 10 -
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6 months ago

I believe spouses should be a priority

Laura - 29yo - level 8 -
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6 months ago

It depends in part in context, but in general, if the relationship is serious, no.

Monica - 23yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

It depends in part on context, but generally, if the relationship is serious, no.

Monica - 23yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Idk how to even feel I mean yes the lover should take priority but my bf calls his sister babe and baby, slaps her butt and vise versa, she walks around in her underwear 24/7 w her ass hanging out, and I "can't say anything about it" or my bf says he'll break up w me, and she's 16 and he's 32

Kaile - 18yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

No

Calcuttah - 35yo - level 11 -
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6 months ago

If married, definitely not. But it is also important to help him with hurtful family history issues if those contribute to that loyalty. Getting mad and reacting never helps. Talking through things and allowing him to understand our hurt helps us wives to get our point across without getting over emotional.

Sarah - 28yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

If they are only Lovers and not married, yes.

Duane - level 21 -
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6 months ago

No it is not

Dlip - 32yo - level 13 -
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6 months ago

Depends on the importance of the issue. If minor then why not, as long as it is the correct side

Marcos - 27yo - level 24 -
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6 months ago

Not at all

Robert - 38yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

For me, marriage changes the relationship. My wife is number one, over parents, siblings and even our kids. We've been married 22 years now with two kids and this has been tested many times. It's not easy, but it's worth standing your ground on!

Tim - 41yo - level 31 -
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6 months ago

Depends on what the trade off is. If sister is cast overboard and will drown, but lover is safe on the boat, it'd be stupid not to act. All else equal, though, family should come first. If two people are married, then they are the closest kind of family.

Russ - 39yo - level 38 -
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6 months ago

No

Paula - 46yo - level 19 -
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6 months ago

Yes, family first.

Blake - 30yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

???

Isn't your partner meant to be your closest family member? Especially if you're married? Your response makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Jacob - 17yo - level 18 -
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5 months ago

That’s very selfish to assume you’re more important than your partner’s family who was there long before you. It’s better to be supportive than to let pride get the better of you.

Blake - 30yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

No

Moe - 21yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

Definitely, unless his sister is clearly wrong

Edd - 22yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

Nope that is a trick question anyway it all depends on the situation

Andrew - level 15 -
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6 months ago

It should depend on the situation at hard

Leah - 40yo - level 12 -
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6 months ago

Depends on the situation but usually yeah. If the sister is being genuinely nasty then maybe not but in normal situations then yeah

Ben - 18yo - level 8 -
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6 months ago

It depends

Cristina - 18yo - level 21 -
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6 months ago

Depends on the situation Boone should have to choose family over lovers. Need to have a happy medium never make someone choose you over family. What would you do if you had to choose ?

Nikki - 42yo - in a relationship for 11 years - Living together - 1 - Coon rapids,Mn, United States - level 20 -
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6 months ago

Yes.

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6 months ago

No

Jodie - 29yo - level 23 -
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6 months ago

Why can't he be loyal to both?

Brittany - 32yo - level 2 -
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6 months ago

No

Luiza - 30yo - level 18 -
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6 months ago

No

Jill - 49yo - level 33 -
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6 months ago

If your in a relationship...your loyalty should be with your partner. So no it's not fair for him not to be loyal to you.

Mariam - 27yo - level 8 -
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6 months ago

Depending on how long you have been in the relationship with your significant other.

Rick - 45yo - level 41 -
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6 months ago

Depends on the situation, a level respect needs to be given to both parties and these situations should arise.

Dan - 36yo - level 7 -
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6 months ago

Yes it's fair.

Shivam - 30yo - level 11 -
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