52 - 1206 - 2 months ago

After been in a very long relationship we both have done a lot to each other I'm not proud of. I took our relationship way more serious well over a year before he did. An during this time he was still having sex with multiple females an doggin me! Now that we live together ever so often I catch him talking to some female and putting me down to her, alot of the times he denies it wen the messages r clearly from his phone . I feel like he thinks I'm a dumbass and were I've let him get away with so much he feels as if I'll always let him! Advice would be awesome?!

Megan - in a relationship for 5 years - Living together - level 7

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2 months ago

Only one question. Why would you remain in such a dysfunctional relationship? Anyone who will talk badly about anyone has no place in my life.

Tim - 46yo - level 12 -
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2 months ago

Leave that piece of shit

Thomas - 39yo - level 10 -
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2 months ago

You shouldn’t ever ask questions that you aren’t prepared for the answer. With that being said, clearly this is a financial benefit of living together or safety net for him. Just move out and move on. No conversations needed with him

Kimberly - 37yo - level 19 -
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2 months ago

I agree. Although you might feel terrified about the prospect of leaving him, it is MUCH better to be alone than with the wrong partner. Furthermore, each minute spent in this mess of a relationship is a minute you waste blocking the blessing of finding your soulmate.

Harry - 44yo - level 27 -
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2 months ago

Jesus girl, just leave him

Skaiste - 17yo - level 21 -
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2 months ago

It sounds to me that he does not really care and does not respect you. I would leave. You deserve si much better. You will find a man who is kind and loves you for you. It make be tough but you must go through the lain to fins the better side! I hope things become better for you.

Vicky - 25yo - level 10 -
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2 months ago

Break up with him he doesn't respect or love you a single bit

Iúri - 15yo - level 13 -
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2 months ago

First of all, not trying to be rude, but my question to you is..Why are you still there when all the negative evidence are present right in front of you??? Do you realize the inconsistency in that?! It means that you don't mind and that's why he keeps doing it. Sure, you might think that your relationship is going great, but when the things you are experiencing aren't comfortable for you..why still commit? He has been keeping secrets from you, going out with girls, making you feel like you're nothing compared to them, and he denies everything. Your boyfriend is immature in a lot of areas and I see that you've given him chances. But not all men make up for their mistakes and even take you for granted. THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING. He has manipulated you into being his own pet instead.( Not trying to be harsh.) He pays you no mind at all. I know you're trying to change him, but that's just him. It's like you're trying to lecture a child and he/she doesn't listen to you, but when it hits him/her that he/she should've listened, that's when they finally listen and understand why you warned them about something. Your boyfriend needs to make up from his mistakes. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF HIM ENTIRELY. IT ISN'T YOUR JOB FOR HIM TO FIND HIS HAPPINESS. But let me tell you something, if you stay there with him thinking that everything will be fine,SWEETHEART, HE HAS ALREADY WRAPPED YOU AROUND HIS FINGER. And like I always say, THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA. He's not only your option, he's one of your choice. I suggest you leave before you get hurt even more. But remember, just because someone didn't treat you right doesn't mean that others won't. One day, you'll find someone else. Someone who's the right person for you. Someone who'll love you and praise you instead of criticizing you. Love isn't simple. Don't be afraid to open your heart again and look for that one man. Your bf is the one who had a loss anyway becasue he lost someone who'd truly love him.

Elyza - 14yo - level 18 -
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2 months ago

I mean this was pretty much the hard truth. It may sound cliche but these are facts. Where do you benefit in this relationship? You can’t be the only one trying to make this work. If you honestly ask yourself after all this bs do you want this relationship to work? (And ask yourself why) write a list of the things you need in this relationship in order for it to work and if he’s not okay with it then you have your answer. But in my own opinion (since you are asking for advice) you should not waste any more of your time. When that lease is up, you gotta hit the road!

Ayanna - 28yo - level 20 -
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2 months ago

No one ever changes.... people do change temporarily but eventually they start doing the same things again and again. He’s taking you for granted.

Maisa - 25yo - level 7 -
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2 months ago

That’s a very hard situation, it seems you have 2 ways out: either you pretend you don’t notice anything and go on like that. Many women actually do that to secure and preserve their relationship and it is their choice. Or you can stop this as it looks like it is your partner’s lifestyle and he is not going to change it. Try to make your partner comfortable and lead to a talk, have a serious conversation and tell him what you want and expect and how you see your relationship in future and watch his reaction. If he becomes offensive and protective- it is a bad sign. I think you should decide to yourself first if you are ready to accept this situation or you want sth different. Good luck to you anyway!

anonymous - 33yo - level 27 -
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2 months ago

Set him straight now as far as what you expect from the relationship from him as well as what you are willing to commit to. The longer you allow him to treat you like your his personal doormat the worse it will get. If he ignores your feelings and acts as if your relationship is unimportant and you are replaceable, move on before he hurts you so deeply you can’t recover. No one deserves to be treated like that. Good luck!

Kim - 47yo - level 29 -
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2 months ago

You need to voice your opinion, even if you think he's lying, if he tells the truth good, if he's lying and you know his tells then you have you're answer. I'd also say considering how much he's slept around then why are you staying? You said you thought the relationship was serious before he did, if you were in a relationship what did he think it was? Cuz you don't cheat in a relationship! Sounds like with everything he's done you're very hurt and I don't blame you but cheaters don't change so get out now before it's too hard and leave. You deserve it better than that.

Charmaine - 30yo - level 7 -
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2 months ago

My boyfriend talked to girls on snap chat for nudes he got off at the fact he schemes them by letting them believe he’ll buy the photos from these girls. I mentioned bringing fun to our relationship and possibly a three way but I wanted to pick and choose. Well when I was pregnant and really big I couldn’t really sexually please him. We’d get into arguments, distance ourselves, and he’d entertain himself*** but not entertain the girls you know what I mean. After we had our son and I moved back in, he found a different solution to getting his fix and its Facebook surfing the buy sell and trade page. My advice is .... I know it’s hard to keep a closed mouth to avoid confrontation, but how else will you express yourself so he knows and see if he does or doesn’t understand and maybe feel the same in certain areas. Communication is key. Slow down, just breathe. If it’s meant to be it’ll be. I would civilly lay it on the table like “hey, look... I don’t deserve this. If you want those other girls then fine, but you won’t have the honor of calling me yours.”

Madison - 24yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Let him go and find a person that will love you without hurting you, and I mean real love not that mickey mouse bullshit.

Yesenia - 23yo - level 4 -
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2 months ago

You already know the answer. It's time to get out of that relationship. It's your in it for financial reasons then save up some money and leave. Don't stay in a place were you are belittled or emeaned.

Jim - 48yo - level 28 -
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2 months ago

He doesn't respect your time, intelligence or love, there's no reason to stay with him if he's talking about you to other women and doing things with them behind your back. Don't let "history" blind you to what's clearly evident you're not happy with him and he doesn't love you the way you should be loved.

Princess - 21yo - level 41 -
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2 months ago

It is time to let go. He doesn't take the relationship seriously. In the beginning of the relationship he never thought it wasn't ok to have multiple partners. Wether he still has multiple partners or not he does not respect you. Even though you may have love for each other, you deserve someone who respects you and wants something serious. He clearly isn't wanting something serious. Actions always speak louder than words. This is why I was married at 20 and divorced before i was 23. I spent my young adult life with someone who didn't really care about me.

Kathleen - 26yo - level 10 -
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2 months ago

Hi love bug str8 up Its time to go. There is no respect Even if he does love you and you love him its time to let go of what was and move on and do whats best for you. yes I know easier said than done but I have been on both sides. In a past relationship being talked about to other females and put down and doing the talking and putting down. If you dont have children and are not married then there is no true reason for you to try to stay maybe you leave and he comes to his senses or not What ever the case. its not healthy and you need peace of mind so if not breaking up for good, it's time to at least take a break. Hope everything works out for the best 1luv.

Oozy - 29yo - Dating - level 7 -
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2 months ago

Time to leave. If he’s still entertaining other women and talking bad about you to them it’s not a healthy relationship. You deserve someone who truly cares for and respects you.

Rochelle - 28yo - level 8 -
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2 months ago

He will never stop, and will never truly respect you. Also in time you will lose any respect for him. You will hold on to the pain (even if you think you can forgive) every time you see a message you will think it is another woman even if it is a co-worker or friend. When unrepentant cheating happens in a relationship forgiveness and true regret has to occur, but if there was regret the person would never had cheated that way in the first place. Leave now it may be painful but waiting will eventually cause more pain.

Shawn - level 17 -
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2 months ago

Dump the motherfucker already.

Shuv - 38yo - level 40 -
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2 months ago

You deserve so much better. I couldnt handle that and stick around.
No man should do that to a woman, Taking you for a mug.
Its easy for everyone to say "leave him" because its not their emotions involved.. but it really does sound like thats what you need to do.
He clearly doesnt respect you at all.
And no matter how small, cheating is cheating and slating you to another woman is wrong.
The fact you asked this question and in detail, shows that you already know this.
Chin up and walk away dear. Someone out there will respect you and show you how a real man is meant to act and treat you. Good luck.

Tara - level 15 -
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2 months ago

You can do better. Don't sell yourself short. I've been in that situation before and well, I decided to leave and now I'm with the love of my life.

Benito - 22yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

He should NEVER EVER EVER talk bad about you to anyone, especially another woman. Goodbye is the only option in my mind. Period.

Crystal - 34yo - level 16 -
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2 months ago

It seems you don’t want to be alone so bide your time, find a new guy who treats you properly, then when when you feel safe kick the fucker to the kerb, you have relationship security and give him a taste of his own medicine

Adam - 25yo - level 13 -
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2 months ago

Run now for the sake of your self worth!

Ian - 28yo - level 16 -
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2 months ago

Leave the relationship. Staying in it is enabling your partner to continue this behaviour with no consequences.

Duane - level 18 -
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2 months ago

Really he showed you what kind of man he was from the beginning. So you really shouldnt be surprised on how your treated now. Sounds like you guys tried to build your relationship on the wrong things. I seriously doubt the guy is willing to do what it takes to fix your relationship.

Kenny - 35yo - level 17 -
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2 months ago

I think you should of left him the first time you caught him downing you to anyone... Whether it's females he's screwing, or friends, he doesn't have a place in your life.

Mary - 37yo - level 2 -
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2 months ago

Tell him to change o r leave

Glenna - 45yo - level 3 -
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2 months ago

Dump him. He clearly doesn't respect or value you. That isn't going to change.

Brittany - 30yo - level 17 -
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2 months ago

Fuck this shit.

Shaktikiran - 18yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

Unfaithfulness shows a blatant disrespect and lack of love towards you from his part. Don't tolerate it. Love yourself. Confront him and leave! Don't waste your time anymore!

KatieK - 37yo - level 10 -
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2 months ago

Dump him..

Diogo - 23yo - level 28 -
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2 months ago

Well, of course he feels that way bc you’re allowing him to do what he wants to do. It’s been 5 years either get over it and allow him to do it. Or take a break. But you can’t be mad at him if you keep allowing him to do the same dumb shit.
What you allow will continue. You didn’t a set a tone for your self or for the relationship. Also he doesn’t respect you and you can take that as you may. A man who knows what he wants doesn’t need to be entertained by any other woman.

Alex - 21yo - level 6 -
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2 months ago

He doesn't respect you or the relationship... self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic punk... looks like he still wants to live in the young single life... maybe when he grows up he'll realize what love is, and realize the pain he has put you thru... that's a very unhealthy relationship and I'm sure you could find someone that will love you, the way you want to be loved...

Dave - 46yo - level 19 -
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2 months ago

Why are you still in the relationship ??

Emi - 40yo - level 4 -
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2 months ago

I agree with everyone. Dump his ass. He sounds like piece of shit of shit. I'm positive you deserve to be treated with respect and one day you WILL find someone who deserves you. Good luck!!

Monica - 50yo - level 3 -
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2 months ago

When you both decided to take the relationship seriously you needed to have set some ground rules. You've let him continue to mug you off. It may feel like you love him but it sounds like you will deffo find someone that will treat you better. I know it may seem scary but you need to put yourself first

Stacey - 29yo - level 34 -
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2 months ago

Until he realizes he lost the best thing in his life and learns how to respect you, you need to do you and let that man drown a bit.

Destynee - 27yo - level 3 -
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2 months ago

Hey, if what you’re saying is absolutely true.. it’s very toxic to go ahead with that kind of a lifestyle. It’s your call of you want to live with that.

Manognya - 17yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

And you're still with him? You two are not a "couple". I thought Happy Couple was for people who are committed to each other and want to get to know each other better.

Sam - 38yo - level 24 -
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2 months ago

Stop letting him get away with it jus let him Kno if it's Kool for him it's good for you to

Terrell - 29yo - level 2 -
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2 months ago

Be done with him and move on. I am speaking from experience. He doesn’t deserve you. Don’t waste another 5 years. You can do much better. DO NOT allow him to convince you to stay!!!! We wasted 13 years total. Married for 4 of those and separated for 3. Just got divorced this July 2nd this year. Here’s the worst part... I was more or less in your boyfriends position and you sound like my ex wife. And my advice is the same, leave his ass. If he’s smart he’ll realize his mistakes and move on to be a better person. That’s what I’m trying to do. But you need to get out now. Find someone who treats you like you’re the only one for him. And the really weird part... my ex’s name is Megan.

Joseph - 33yo - level 19 -
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2 months ago

Dump him.

Jen - 32yo - level 28 -
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2 months ago

It seems like he’s a selfish guy, puts his interests before you and your needs. You deserve better than that FOR SURE. Yeah, it’ll be hard to move out and move on, but you’ll be better off in the long run without him. Think about if he makes more happy or more sad/upset.

Madie - 23yo - level 15 -
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2 months ago

Drop him like a bad habit you are worth more than that nonsense

Lara - 42yo - level 38 -
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2 months ago

Well what's good for the goose is good for the gander, give him hell and if he quits you quit

jason - 38yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

If he’s a repeat offender, chances are he won’t stop. And I’m guessing you don’t want to be with someone like that for the rest of your life. Even if you aren’t ready to end things here and now, I’d say be prepared to accept that this isn’t who you will be with forever

Mia - 19yo - level 5 -
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2 months ago

Get away from the loser. The guy doesn't respect you and he's confused about how to treat women

April - 33yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

Break up immediately. He hasn’t no respect for you. This is not how you treat someone you love. There is no saving this at this point if he’s talking crap to other women about you.

Lea - 37yo - level 17 -
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2 months ago

If your actually catching him WITH these femaies then I would not stand for it if I were you. Let that go because if he is not willing to stop, then your always going to be stressed and hurt and it will physically destroy you.

lynne - 57yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Recommend the book “Boundaries in marriage” - in order to have a long term successful relationship, there’s certain things required from each partner to ensure the security and stability of both partners. His behavior is unacceptable, and sometimes adults, much like a toddler, need to be reminded that there are consequences to our actions and be held accountable. It’s sometimes really hard to do that with someone we love, but when one partner has proven through their actions they don’t care or don’t value / respect you, Consequences are a must for behavior to change.

Don’t feel bad about it - though that’s hard, because you have so much value. clearly in this instance, his behavior, more importantly, betrayal of you, and trust, has been fractured and it seems as though he’s pretty arrogant about it - as if he has all the power and “what are you gonna do” type mentality. Life will really slap him in the face once day, but he deserves, in my opinion, no more of your time or effort.

Once those boundaries are broken, and infidelity happens, reconciling the relationship takes a lot of intensive counseling, and even then it’s not got a high success rate.

Wish you the best, pretty clear that he doesn’t value who you are or your loyalty, which is unfortunate.

Ryan Gardner - 34yo - level 15 -
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