19 - 625 - 1 month ago

I can't drive my husband car because it's under his friend's name and his friend will take the registration plate away, as he did i't once before because he saw me driving it, he took it over night while we slept, my husband friend and I are not in speaking terms because they disrespected me. I have asked my husband to put the car in my name so they could get a new plate and I could drive it. he said yes postponing this action to three months now, it can't be put on my husband's name because of some issues. should I be okay with this ? because it's causing a lot of heated arguments, there's no public transportation where I live and I don't have my own vehicle thank to my husband too, speaking about this with my husband causes heated arguments. What would you do?

Auro - 40yo - in a relationship for 5 years - Married - 2 - level 6

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4 weeks ago

That whole situation sounds shady. Figure out a way to get your own car, and be strong in your conviction that this friend has too much power in your marriage.

Aimee - 39yo - level 4 -
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4 weeks ago


Sal - 62yo - level 5 -
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4 weeks ago

I think there's ulterior motives. He doesnt want it under your name because he either doesnt trust you or is not serious about the relationship. Plus even when its under his friends name it is not his friends business its your husbands because its his car and he pays for it and the gas, it just all seems fishy.

Yesenia - 35yo - level 36 -
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4 weeks ago

It sounds like your husband needs to grow up. First of all, he should not stand for any of his "friends" being disrespectful to you in any form. Taking care of you and your needs should be his first priority, and it doesn't sound like that's the case. Save and buy your own car in your name.

Sarah Bailey - 37yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

I’d say it seems like your husband has his reasons but this should not be the way he goes about it, he needs to explain it to you in a way you’ll understand and if he can’t then it has to change otherwise he obviously values his friends opinions over yours and that is an unhealthy attitude towards a partner.

Adam - 25yo - level 10 -
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4 weeks ago

Sounds like you need to get a job and start saving. It might suck without transportation, but if you need to walk to work until you make enough to buy a bike until you make enough to uber to work until you make enough to buy your own vehicle, then so be it. It really sounds like you're on your own for this, so put on your big girl panties and make some power moves on your own. You are strong and you are capable, Mama. Blessings to you.

Tonya - 46yo - level 8 -
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4 weeks ago

He needs to put that friend in check. It doesn't matter if the friend gave him a kidney, theres no reason for the friend to disrespect you or get in your personal business

Ebony - 30yo - level 8 -
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3 weeks ago

its literally his car tho. if he doesn't want anyone driving it that's his choice.

Markus - 28yo - level 18 -
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4 weeks ago

I will discuss my feelings and make a strong effort to get him to understand that my feelings matter. If that doesn't work, you may have to consider if he is the right fit for you.

Jocelyn - 37yo - level 15 -
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4 weeks ago

Why would his friend be against you driving? If y’all have the title (which I hope you do bc said friend could do whatever he wanted with it I’ve seen it happen don’t underestimate) obviously you know what needs to be done, and it’s obviously not happening. Sooooo.

I would start planning alllllll kinds of errands, ie; dr appts, hair cuts, nails, grocery shopping, gift shopping, forget things from grocery store to make dinner and make him take you back to get items or dinner is ruined. Make it a point to run him all over the place. May cause a fight. BUT. He may get tired of it and want to do it stat!

Bee - 29yo - level 3 -
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4 weeks ago

I think you should let your husband know that it’s hard to talk about and start there. Sometimes we react and not realize how often it happens and how hurtful it can be. Then getting a resolution would be easier if he becomes self-aware of his actions.

Matthew - 24yo - level 21 -
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4 weeks ago

Your husband needs to put his vehicle in his own name. His friend could come take the car and there's nothing your husband could do legally. Your husband could call the cops and say his friend stole his vehicle and the
Cops would says it in your name if it's not there's nothing we can do and he screwed.

Matthew - 34yo - level 12 -
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4 weeks ago

Do you have money to buy your own car? That might be the way to go.

Duane - level 13 -
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4 weeks ago

Your husband needs to trust you or himself

Arthur - 26yo - level 14 -
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4 weeks ago

Your husband need to put the car in y'all name. Or better yet get you a car and stop letting his friend tell him who can drive his car and who can't.

Leroy Williams - 36yo - level 13 -
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4 weeks ago

I agree you should write your feelings down about this situation affects and makes you feel. I also feel you should make sure not telling him all the faults but how his actions directly affect you. Ask him what would be best compromise in his opinion. Asked him to write a letter back to you so you have something to get back and deliberate on.

Ayanna - 27yo - level 15 -
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4 weeks ago

Write out your thoughts and suggested solution for this problem. Read it first and make sure it appeals to male logic. Let him read it while you are apart and cannot argue. In the meantime Uber and Lyft are not as expensive as you might think.

Kreaxe - level 10 -
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4 weeks ago

Personally I’d hate that the friend had so much control and let him and my husband know that.

Stacy - 39yo - level 1 -
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4 weeks ago

You and your husband should get an own car

Julian - 26yo - level 41 -
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1 month ago

Ask him to explain why to you. Ask him to explain all the ways that it is correct to both not let you drive and not re-register the car. Don't interrupt and just let him get out the "I'm right I'm right I'm right" feeling. Tell him the points you see in what he's saying. Tell him where you agree. Then tell him that you'd like to explain your point of view and ask for the same respect you just gave him.

If he doesn't give you that respect, stop. Try to stay calm and ask if he's going to respect your time to talk like you respected his. If he does respect it, keep talking. If he doesnt. Tell him he's not and just walk away, because the conversation is over.

Tasha - 24yo - level 12 -
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1 month ago

Wow, that's a difficult situation. If the arguments get always heated, I would maybe suggest writing a letter to your husband where you'd explain how it makes you feel and why you need to be able to drive a car. Then place the letter somewhere he could find it and hope for the best. If he still wasn't willing to come to a compromise, I'd just tell him to drive me everywhere - which is probably not possible, so hopefully he'd finally change his mind. I keep my fingers crossed. Good luck. And I think that getting a bit more emotional in the letter could affect him more.

Michaela - 20yo - level 29 -
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