4 months ago
An honest but loving conversation is a good start. My partner is A LOT less open minded than me, but we work, because he trusts that I won't push him into situations he's absolutely opposed to. I think if you trust her, you should try to be as open as you can without betraying your core values. If sex and intimacy with you two needs work, then any of that fetish stuff will become unhealthy. A kinky relationship needs to start with a strong sexual relationship between the two of you, before you invite others in. Trust me! I was in such a one for 7 years, but it wasn't that I wasn't comfortable doing the things he wanted me to do, it was because our own sex and emotional connection didn't work. He cheated on me throughout, so I didn't trust him. But my current relationship isn't like that, I'm still my own kinky self but now I feel safe in the bedroom so I'm open to it all again, but I respect that there's certain things my partner isn't into. All I ask is that he try certain things, or we find a compromise that works for both of us (ideas for a threesome without doing a threesome: shoot a video for someone else, or just yourselves, go to a swingers club just to play with the idea, you can agree on what your both comfortable with, I. E. just dancing, maybe kissing, maybe that's it). All I think you need to let her know is that your open to trying things, and that you want to build trust between the two of you first and I think she'll work with you. If she pushes it, then she's not respecting your boundaries, and then you'll have to go from there, but it's give and take right? Just be willing to dip your toe in and she'll appreciate it. Hope that helps!
Catherine - 33yo - level 12 -