9 - 496 - 7 months ago

Me and my fiancee have had some ups and downs we are in a long distance relationship and one of the biggest parts of who we are together is our intamcy and our affection every time were together it's like we're both in heaven but when were apart there's always tension and drama the phone is all we have we are unable to live with eachother at the moment but we both want it I love this women with everything I am and I don't want to lose her but we are drifting apart because of the distance and lack of intimacy what can I do to save our future together plz help!!!

John - 32yo - level 14

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7 months ago

I feel you, John. I have been in a long distance relationship for five years now. The first year, we were on the phone 8 hours a day, essentially whenever we're not working, we're talking. We fell asleep with each other over the phone, we watched movies over Skype, we went out "together" at dark just to feel close to each other, after all, affection and fantasy outshined that 5 hours time difference and thousands of miles between us. The second year was less easy, we had arguments about stupid things, things that had very little meaning but we argued anyway, looking back now, I think we just need to vent, that we couldn't pretend that the physical distance bewteen us meant nothing and we were fine with it. But still, we were full of hope and patience, we knew that things will change, and we won't be apart forever, most importantly, the future of us being together was simply too good to be true. As time goes by, we met in real life multiple times. And just like you said, every moment we had together was unreal and filled with happiness.

Still, there were dark hours, where the lover "in" the phone just felt so out of reach. All the lonely nights, the disastifactory conversations, and the temptations in the real life finally manifested into fights and despaire. Calling each other everyday becomes nothing short of a habit, a formality, there was no passion in our tongue; we stopped talking about the future, we stopped having deep discussions, we just called.

My point is, no lovers want to be apart. It's mentally exhusating, it's unsexy, and it sucks. We were tuned to appeal towards instant gratification, we are inclined to things we can see and touch, but love is not something you give it away. If you believe what you two have is rare and beautiful, then you hold on to it. If you believe she's person that you will lay in peace with, then you fight the distance. Long distance relationships require so much hope, communication, and above all, self-d

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7 months ago

My now husband and I were in a long distance relationship from Virginia to Oregon for three years. The thing that helped us the most was having a date set to see each other again before we parted. We could look forward to that date when things got rough and count down the days. As for The intimacy part; that’s natural, but there’s always photos and FT dates ;)

Roxanne - 29yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

Distance can never drift apart two loving souls. If your relationship is build on LOVE ie. Trust, harmony, respect and helping each other to grow, then no matter the distance for whatever amount of time, the two of you will always be together.

Jaya Bagaria - 27yo - level 13 -
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7 months ago

Might have to make sacrifices to live closer to each other so you can be together more often. If you love each other enough you will be willing to do just about anything to make it work.

Tim krozleski - 38yo - level 15 -
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7 months ago

I can definitely relate to this, intimacy is such a big thing and talking on the phone just isn’t the same. Some things I do are:
- focus on the reasons you love her so much
- movie dates like a “normal” couple via Skype
- reminisce on times you were together or plan for when you’ll next be together
- talk about your days so you’re still in each other’s lives and up to date
- be honest about missing each other and how hard it is
- always keep the end goal in mind, plan for it and discuss any changes to the plan

Good luck <3

Alanna - level 37 -
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7 months ago

Intimacy is far more than just being physically together. Create intimate moments while apart. Video chat dates, intimate conversations, movie dates using apps that you can watch the same movie at the same time. Things like that. Building intimacy is so much more than simply being together. Of course you desire to be together physically that is one of the major points of a relationship but the definition of intimacy goes so much further than being there with someone.

Kevin - 30yo - level 4 -
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7 months ago

it sounds like you base your relationship on your intimacy when really it should be based on A LOT of other things, like communication, compatibility, compromise and desire to be together. my advice is talk talk talk root out your problems and find a way to maintain love and respect by some other means other than intimacy.

Pero - 22yo - level 30 -
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7 months ago

I am in the ldr. Chill my friend. Take it easy. And if you are 100% sure about her, it's time to make a plan for living together. Unfortunately maybe one of them will lose the career but it's okay. You will find a good job if you prepare before going to her. I am doing our plan and it's going well now. It's not easy but you can do this. Keep it up my friend.

Joseph - 31yo - level 25 -
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7 months ago

Me and my partners relationship is based on communication and mutual love. We give each other extremely much affirmations while being away from each other. Every day, several times per day, we let each other know how much and why we like each other and chose to be with each other. We also always say good night and good morning, which makes us feel closer to each other. You have to find a way to continue to feel the intimacy when you’re away. And you have to admit that you miss each other, maybe that where the tensions and frustration comes from? Always decide when to meet next time, so you have a motivation to continue your love story. Good luck!

Linn - 27yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Intamcy should never be the priority of your relationship, if you two are together is because you have a lot of love to be given. It's hard, and it sucks for example when you need so much that person, but it's not impossible, no one says it would be easy, but I'm sure you both love so much, and you can with this and more! Don't worry for the things that may happen, and start living each day more as it could be the last one

Flavia - 18yo - level 7 -
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7 months ago

Personally, if your relationship is just built on physical intamcy it is in danger. The long distance does take a lot of sincere committment from both sides and for sure can only be a temporary situation, but if what holds your relationship together is the physical aspect then I would be doing a serious heart search to make sure that isnt the case. Good communication is pretty important.

Kenny - 35yo - level 17 -
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