1 month ago
I feel you, John. I have been in a long distance relationship for five years now. The first year, we were on the phone 8 hours a day, essentially whenever we're not working, we're talking. We fell asleep with each other over the phone, we watched movies over Skype, we went out "together" at dark just to feel close to each other, after all, affection and fantasy outshined that 5 hours time difference and thousands of miles between us. The second year was less easy, we had arguments about stupid things, things that had very little meaning but we argued anyway, looking back now, I think we just need to vent, that we couldn't pretend that the physical distance bewteen us meant nothing and we were fine with it. But still, we were full of hope and patience, we knew that things will change, and we won't be apart forever, most importantly, the future of us being together was simply too good to be true. As time goes by, we met in real life multiple times. And just like you said, every moment we had together was unreal and filled with happiness.
Still, there were dark hours, where the lover "in" the phone just felt so out of reach. All the lonely nights, the disastifactory conversations, and the temptations in the real life finally manifested into fights and despaire. Calling each other everyday becomes nothing short of a habit, a formality, there was no passion in our tongue; we stopped talking about the future, we stopped having deep discussions, we just called.
My point is, no lovers want to be apart. It's mentally exhusating, it's unsexy, and it sucks. We were tuned to appeal towards instant gratification, we are inclined to things we can see and touch, but love is not something you give it away. If you believe what you two have is rare and beautiful, then you hold on to it. If you believe she's person that you will lay in peace with, then you fight the distance. Long distance relationships require so much hope, communication, and above all, self-d