21 - 543 - 2 months ago

How long do you think long-distance relationship can last without damaging feelings? We have been far from each other for 1,5 years and I don’t know when he will be ready to move to one place together. Everything is vague and uncertain. We don’t talk about our life together anymore. I feel we both are losing interest and our communication has changed. Is there sense to continue?

anonymous - 33yo - level 27

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2 months ago

I have been long distance for more than 3 years. Still waiting to meet. Love does dial down after a while, but you shouldn't be losing interest. Try to share positive moments with each other and both strive to make each other happy. That's how my relationship is going, and it's going super well. There will be ups and downs but remember the long term goal, whatever it is. It could be meeting eventually, having kids, or even getting married. Ask your partner what their goals are and find what goals you have in common. Remind yourselves of those goals everyday, and make best of what you have. Go on Skype, or even call each other. Seeing each other and having positive experiences with each other keeps it interesting.

Grayson - 19yo - level 23 -
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2 months ago

My girlfriend and I have been apart for 2 years now, and we might not be able to live together for another 2 maybe 3. There was a point where it was getting dull, lately though, we spice up what we talk about, as well as make plans to see each other as much as possible. We both work, attend university, she has church duties and I have ROTC. Still we make as much time together as possible, we also live across an ocean from each other. Right now we see each other once a year for two weeks. But we are trying to have more visits by meeting up somewhere in the middle. If you believe you found someone who you can trust then yeah the wait is good, it’s a good test if you guys ever have work trips. But it’s all up to both of you and how much you feel it’s worth holding it up.

Shamil - 20yo - level 34 -
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2 months ago

I think this is something that only you two will know. I have had a long distance relationship with my significant other, now my wife, for two years. Since the beginning we had plans to live in the same country in less than 2 years. It is taking more than we expected, but we are very transparent about our plans. You guys should think about your expectations and decide from there.

Angel - 31yo - level 30 -
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2 months ago

Ldr is about adapting to rough reality. Ppl who havent been in one cant ever know how hard it is. Being separated from ppl we love is constant pain. Ldr takes different kind of commitment and making efforts daily basis. And its still overwhelmingly heart breaking sometimes. The most important thing is that both parties have to be sure of the ingagement to the relationship and common future together. It takes true love and strong will, good communication and yes, imagination and creativity.

Ldr is challenging. Time differences, different sceduals, breaking internet connection, glitches in apps that are in use for communication, lots of misunderstandings when depending only on written messages and phone calls - missing body language, different moods and states of mind, lack of physical contact.. You name it. So, invevitably it hurts and damages feelings. It all needs to be aknowleged and payed attention. But every difficulty, long distance fight and misunderstanding beated together makes ldr couple stronger. Communication is everything in this situation and cherishing the mutual goal even its out of the sight and when everything depends on the big unknown.

I have been in ldr for over 2,5 years now. We got married a year ago and havent been able to be together for over a year already. And we dont know when will be the next time or when can we start our life together, this grey everyday life that everybody hates. We dont want anything more than that. This not knowing is damaging.

But. He is the only one I want to share my life with, so giving up isnt an option. How ever long it will take or what ever it will take, we will be together. All what we have stands on that certainty.

Mergit - level 14 -
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2 months ago

Unless there are extenuating circumstances, I think after awhile a move has to be made to get in closer proximity of each other or it's time to move on.

Duane - level 13 -
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2 months ago

Agreed with Angel. You have to discuss these feelings otherwise you’ll just resent one another or drift. Every relationship is different, but you should communicate how you’re feeling and if you want things to get better and progress, you’ll have to address the lack of plans.

Is there sense to continuE? I wish I could help on that, but it’s up to you. My girlfriend and I have been long distance for roughly 1.5 years, only seeing each other once a month if that. Through it all we’ve always been very communicative and open about our feelings. We’ve been exclusive to one another, so we haven’t had other people in the cities we live in, but I’m sure that can help some people.

I’d say that if you don’t feel it’s right, you need to speak up and see what your partner is thinking. If it’s common ground, maybe it’s time

Mat - 30yo - level 43 -
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2 months ago

3 months

Maja - level 6 -
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2 months ago

I think it depends ob how you deal with it. If you're still talking about getting together one day it will work. But if you feel like things are going south, that's probably because something has changed. Talk about it.

Anks - 26yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

It seems like a waste of time for everybody involved if there's no shared interest in anything anymore. It'd probly be best to cut the ties and get out sooner rather than later cuz the longer any situation like that goes on the harder it is to break it off and let go.

Mathu - 22yo - level 7 -
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2 months ago

I believe that if you and him feel a actual real connection that even when times start to fall you’ll both realize you and him met for a reason....

Ambriah - 15yo - level 8 -
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2 months ago

Youve got to. Skype or something and if your not in your DREAM JOB so to speak, why wait so long ho for it or sonething

Evie - 48yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

I have been with my boyfriend for about almost one year. He met me after six month we have been together. Long distance relationship for me its require a constant communication, transparency, openess and most of all is trust. I think you should having a deep discussion about the long term plan with your boyfriend and tell him what you feel. Your feeling is valid. Discuss and try to find a better solution. It is not a one sided relationship. I wish u good luck and everything gonna be alright if u both focused in what u want and need in the future

Bazilah - 27yo - level 16 -
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2 months ago

Absolutely not. Be kind. Move on

Nyssa - 25yo - level 18 -
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2 months ago

Absolutely worth it. Real love can span a life time if you feel like things are going south and have real love with this person do whatever it takes not to allow it to die. Get to each other and if that's not possible do what you can to remind one another of why you fell in love and how good it feels. And if you dont make it your heart will be at ease knowing you didnt just give it up that you did all you could.

Curtis - 31yo - level 33 -
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2 months ago

Long distance relationship need consistency in communication. You need to develop trust and the same urge of being connected together via technology. But how long you can continue this ? The answer is that u need to have a long term goal set that you both will live together one day. If this goal is set unconditionally then u can continue this LDR for years to come. It's all boil down to one thing commitment and communication. Make sure that u have these two pillars set strong in ur LDR otherwise if not then lay rest to it and move on.

Moiz - 25yo - level 18 -
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2 months ago

I think that you definitely need to have a conversation about it and go from there

Cat - 22yo - level 11 -
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2 months ago

Some people are perfectly fine that way. It sounds like your drifting apart though. Time for a talk

Kaye - 56yo - level 22 -
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2 months ago

You just have to talk about it. Some couples do long distance for months, some for years, it just depends on what they are happy to put up with. I’ve been doing long-distance for about 1.5 years, with at least 1.5 years to go. It’s killing me but you’ve gotta be in open communication with your partner about your day-to-day life while you’re apart, still do fun things together to feel more “normal” (watch movies together via Skype, play board games or other games online) and keep the dream alive. It’s hard when you dont have a certain moving date but you can still play the “what if” game to keep the hope there. Hope this helps!

Alanna - level 37 -
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2 months ago

How long a long-distance relationship can last depends entirely on the couple I think. In your case, it sounds like transparency and clarity is what ypu're looking for. I'm not really sure what you mean by "we don't talk about our life together anymore". Does that mean you miss it or are you comfortable with things as they are?

I think it would be fair to both of you to ask if you are indeed both losing interest or if that is just how you feel right now. Best of luck!

Espen - 31yo - level 26 -
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2 months ago

My boyfriend and I are about to try long distance for about 4 months. I am just guessing at this point, but the tell tale factor for me to see if we last will be the effort put in. There will be no magic date of how long is too long, but as soon as either one of us feel we are not seeing effort from the other side, we will discuss alternatives to how we are working through the situation.

Susie - 22yo - level 10 -
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2 months ago

My spouse and I were long distance for two years before we moved in together. We had been making plans for about a year before we could move in, but we were in constant communication with each other with a sense of excitement and anticipation to starting our life together. You need to have a conversation with him. See where he stands on the topic and then evaluate your own. Are you still happy with the relationship or are you holding on just in case?

Kyla - 26yo - level 14 -
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