31 - 758 - 4 months ago

My fiancée and I are absolutely head over heels for one another, I’ve just noticed he has been paying more attention to whatever he’s watching on the tablet then he is to me during sex. I’m not vocal, I try to be but get tongue tied in thinking “what’s the hottest thing you can say to get him going?” My head gets in the way, I can’t ever shut my mind down. How do I get his focus back on me instead of these other women on webcam? It started out as ideas but we rarely use the ideas, we use them to get us going...

Megan - level 1

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4 months ago

I would stop with the webcams for a little bit, good luck

Aaron - 47yo - level 19 -
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4 months ago

Wait, you watch porn during sex? What's the point of it? I mean, isn't the point of having sex having fun and pleasure with your partner, because you love your partner and you think he's hot as hell? If you watch porn, aren't you thinking of those other people on the screen instead of paying attention to what you are actually doing? Sex is about connection, not just physical experience, especially in a couple (it's my opinion). So for God's sake, TURN THE PORN OFF!

Gabriela - 23yo - level 34 -
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4 months ago

There's making love and just having sex both are great. But sometimes just raw sex with no emotions is needed. . My partner and I are in to both of these. We like to share each other with other couples together. We also very much enjoy the sole connection that love making brings. Sometimes I as a Male need extra visual stimulation . Then I focus on my partner. She's the most beautiful woman I know . We trust each other 100% . That's the key.
Discuss the issue between the two of you. Bring up your fantasies with out fear of judgment from either of you. . Be open and honest bring up your Fears and Joy's about your relationship.. if you both can't do that then you may not be the perfect fit for each other

Paul - 53yo - level 30 -
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4 months ago

Tell him, mate you’ve got a hot piece of ass right here, so why ain’t you eating it? Stop looking at these delusional, chavvy gal dem on you’re Samsung tablet screen, and lick my pussy you fucking cock head.

Reece - 19yo - level 7 -
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4 months ago

Think of the dirtiest thing you could say ... and say it. He will love it. Try different positions. Try you initiating it when he least expects it. But like others have said TURN THE PORN OFF! You need a break from it!

Amy - 28yo - level 12 -
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4 months ago

That too... my husband actually begged me to tell him I was his dirty little slut for weeks before I'd give in but it worked. Lol

Carly - 27yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

Explain that while watching the webcam can be exciting, from time to time, it cannot happen all the time! Webcams are nothing more than a fantasy “ on screen”. But when one’s fantasy is painful to the other, it’s time to put the brakes on. If he truly loves you, he’ll get that! I’d say put a stop to the webcam for a while and put the focus back where it belongs. On the two of you!! Good luck!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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4 months ago

Honestly and bluntly if dirty talk makes you think too much about what would be sexy enough, you could try saying oh god, yes, damn, fuck, fuck yes, and/or (when the mood is right) harder. Another thing you could try, watching porn in your spare time, listen to them.. it might make you feel like an idiot though. I'm not good at dirty talk at all. I feel embarrassed and that things I say sound stupid coming out of my mouth instead of sexy. What ended up working for me was if something felt good/great, like the g spot or something like that just come out and say how great it feels...

Carly - 27yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

Definitely talk to him. He probably doesn't even know you're thinking this, so you definitely ought to communicate. Be direct - "Hey, I've been thinking about it and this is affecting our sex life. I'd really appreciate if you spent some more time with just me and making sure we are connecting that way." Establish that your sex life is important to you, too, and that you want to be with him. Then, see how he reacts to this conversation. If he's positive about it, you can definitely introduce toys or role play to spice things up if you're feeling tongue tied. They sometimes can say things that words can't necessarily get across.

Finn - 21yo - level 9 -
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4 months ago

You're going to have to talk to him. From what you shared, it was something you both agreed on at first, but you changed your mind and that's ok. Tell him what you've noticed and how it makes you feel. If he can't respect that and turn off the tablet, you have some big decisions to make before moving forward in the relationship, in my humble opinion.

Taisha - level 2 -
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4 months ago

What the hell?! I'd never have sex with my fiancé while he's watching other women!
We're talking about an act of love, and you deserve to get this act devoted only to you. I have to admit, I'm that kind of person that has sex for romantic reasons, not pleasure, but still he should be turned on by you, not some whore on the internet.
Honestly, as soon as his desire is awakened by some other woman he's not marriage material. How long until he's gonna have an affair if he can't "get going" with you alone??
I'm sorry, maybe I'm overreacting...

Toto - 20yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

Both the act of sex and the understanding of it has evolved. The line between romance and pleasure is less defined, and for some couples it’s nonexistent. I love being romantic and intimate with my man, and I enjoy trying new things. Sharing new experiences with your significant other looks different to every couple. And, because of that, “marriage material” can only be defined by the people involved. Even sex workers have heathy, romantic relationships and marriages. There are infinite versions of heathy lifestyles, and they don’t have to mirror yours to be valid and true. Also, boners are a physical reaction. If the wind blows through an open zipper in a weird way a dude can get an erection. So to say “his desire is awakened” by anything other than you can instill a lot of pressure that can be more damaging for some couples. More traditional boundaries are ok, but more sexually explorative relationships are ok too. Couples or individuals who post online aren’t “whores.” It may seem dirty to you, but that may seem exciting to others. Understanding your sexuality can be really empowering. And, honestly, it’s only strengthened my relationship-both physical and emotional. The key is finding someone who is happy to share your lifestyle in a safe and heathy way. No matter where your boundaries are.

In the case of the OP, and any relationship, open communication is key. Your SO isn’t a mind reader. It’s ok to be open to new things and if they aren’t what you expected, that’s ok too.

Kate - 27yo - level 22 -
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4 months ago

I have to agree with you, Toto

Gabriela - 23yo - level 34 -
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3 months ago

Wow, just wow. Toto that hit it into to a bases loaded home run... I'm so tired of seeing people judge others by the 50s nuclear family lifestyle. dynamics have changed and so has the way we think about sex

LemonSkyy - 45yo - level 3 -
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4 months ago

I think hes not that into it. Make him put the tablet up. Try putting on some music or trying different moves

Jill - 29yo - level 2 -
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4 months ago

Talk to him and make sure you get his attention fully

Tidimalo - 23yo - level 8 -
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4 months ago

Turn the porn off and have sex just the two of you

Alicia - 23yo - level 36 -
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4 months ago

Oh

Shane - 32yo - level 2 -
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4 months ago

Tell him to put it away. Be honest how you ferl. Otherwise it's going to build up resentment and then the relationship will begin to drift apart.

Rhonda - 57yo - level 6 -
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4 months ago

Porn is the worst thing for a healthy sex life. It rewires the brain to make it so that it is only turned on by the extremes and fake things that it sees in porn causing addiction. If you want a better sex life tell him to quit watching porn.

Jarom - 25yo - level 46 -
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4 months ago

Porn ruins everything

Mandie - 37yo - level 9 -
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4 months ago

I would make sure to turn it off before getting into it. How distracting, and hard to compete with! What you see on the scene is not real life usually and it can feel very awkward and false trying to imitate. Maybe having a conversation about what each of you get out of it, and what you don’t, might help. Outside of intimate moment, of course.

Christine - 44yo - level 39 -
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4 months ago

Turn off the porn. Maybe make your own? Talk filthy to him if you struggle face to face try it over text when hes at work? Say your his dirty slut and only his drives me insane when my ex and I did it my eyes were never off her. Surprise him with sex. Dress up and wait for him coming in

Craig - 24yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

Take phone or tablet away and kiss him passionately... speed things up fast by grabbing on him or sucking on him... that would get me going

Eric - 30yo - level 38 -
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4 months ago

Turn off the porn..... it's that easy.... his mind is not on you, it's on fake bodys and good camera angles. You are putting yourself in a position where you are competing against the other girls during a time that his focus should only be on you. In his mind he is visualizing being with the other women in the video, and not with you....

Aaron - 39yo - level 21 -
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4 months ago

If my fiancee was more focused on webcam models than on me...I would seriously reconsider the engagement. I could not imagine focussing on anyone but my partner in the moment.

Leslie - 26yo - level 37 -
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4 months ago

its not something you say megan, if hes not in the mood hes not in the mood.

Gabriella - 17yo - level 9 -
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4 months ago

Just relax, say what you feel when making love. Tt’s only as hard if you make it the more vocal you get the more, excited he will get its a win win for both of you. There's really nothing hard, tell him what feels good and how good how it feels when he is making love to you.

Joel - 48yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

no no no, no videos to get going download an app sex game or make one up.number is what your using to touch your partner on their skin dice 1 is a kiss 2 is a tounge 3 is a finger 4 is a hand 5 is sexual part 6 is reverse the number. as you each roll a 3 and a 4 is touch a finger in the hand. a 6 and a 5 is the person who rolled a six to use their sexual part and rub it on the one who rolled a 5

tim - 41yo - level 22 -
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4 months ago

Take the tablet from him and pull his pants off and start blowing him. Or just tell him to fuck you or get out.

Buster - 42 ans - niveau 2 -
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4 months ago

Visual aids are usually distracting during the act, best to watch, then act...

Pete - 44yo - level 39 -
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4 months ago

Might be tough but try embracing what turns him on and do your best to make the most of it while accepting him. Then, at a later time, Express to him clearly, the kind of sex that gets you excited and clearly ask for it. “Will you please...” or “it gets me so turned on when you...” type statements can possible get you what you want including communication about less webcams. Do what he likes and then you can ask for what you like. The key is to presenting it in a way that doesn’t include reasons or guilt. Just ask for what you want and see what it gets you!

Kyle - 42yo - level 7 -
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4 months ago

Don't say anything, just do. The more words the worst it is in my experience. Politely take his tablet and do whatever you desire. Good luck

Mansa - 32yo - level 6 -
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4 months ago

Tell him exactly how you feel! If you build it up inside you, it may come out in an explosion. He should know how you feel and respect it.

Daniel - 38yo - level 23 -
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4 months ago

Wow.........
Just looking at some of the comments lol
I wouldn't say turn the porn off.....I'd strip naked sit behind him ( if his laying then lay naked on top of him) run your fingers through his hair and whisper what your seeing, then run your fingers over any part of flesh u can see/touch .....
My girlfriend loves it,,,,,,she loves the whole naughtiness and I get equally excited......good luck 😉

Semira - 42yo - level 19 -
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