My fiancée and I are absolutely head over heels for one another, I’ve just noticed he has been paying more attention to whatever he’s watching on the tablet then he is to me during sex. I’m not vocal, I try to be but get tongue tied in thinking “what’s the hottest thing you can say to get him going?” My head gets in the way, I can’t ever shut my mind down. How do I get his focus back on me instead of these other women on webcam? It started out as ideas but we rarely use the ideas, we use them to get us going...

Wait, you watch porn during sex? What's the point of it? I mean, isn't the point of having sex having fun and pleasure with your partner, because you love your partner and you think he's hot as hell? If you watch porn, aren't you thinking of those other people on the screen instead of paying attention to what you are actually doing? Sex is about connection, not just physical experience, especially in a couple (it's my opinion). So for God's sake, TURN THE PORN OFF!

Gabriela - 23yo - level 34 -

11

There's making love and just having sex both are great. But sometimes just raw sex with no emotions is needed. . My partner and I are in to both of these. We like to share each other with other couples together. We also very much enjoy the sole connection that love making brings. Sometimes I as a Male need extra visual stimulation . Then I focus on my partner. She's the most beautiful woman I know . We trust each other 100% . That's the key.
Discuss the issue between the two of you. Bring up your fantasies with out fear of judgment from either of you. . Be open and honest bring up your Fears and Joy's about your relationship.. if you both can't do that then you may not be the perfect fit for each other

Paul - 54yo - level 37 -

7

Tell him, mate you’ve got a hot piece of ass right here, so why ain’t you eating it? Stop looking at these delusional, chavvy gal dem on you’re Samsung tablet screen, and lick my pussy you fucking cock head.

Reece - 19yo - level 7 -

6

Porn ruins everything

Mandie - 37yo - level 9 -

5

I would stop with the webcams for a little bit, good luck

Aaron - 47yo - level 19 -

5

Porn is the worst thing for a healthy sex life. It rewires the brain to make it so that it is only turned on by the extremes and fake things that it sees in porn causing addiction. If you want a better sex life tell him to quit watching porn.

Jarom - 25yo - level 46 -

4

Honestly and bluntly if dirty talk makes you think too much about what would be sexy enough, you could try saying oh god, yes, damn, fuck, fuck yes, and/or (when the mood is right) harder. Another thing you could try, watching porn in your spare time, listen to them.. it might make you feel like an idiot though. I'm not good at dirty talk at all. I feel embarrassed and that things I say sound stupid coming out of my mouth instead of sexy. What ended up working for me was if something felt good/great, like the g spot or something like that just come out and say how great it feels...

Carly - 27yo - level 1 -

4

Think of the dirtiest thing you could say ... and say it. He will love it. Try different positions. Try you initiating it when he least expects it. But like others have said TURN THE PORN OFF! You need a break from it!

Amy - 28yo - level 12 -

4

What the hell?! I'd never have sex with my fiancé while he's watching other women!
We're talking about an act of love, and you deserve to get this act devoted only to you. I have to admit, I'm that kind of person that has sex for romantic reasons, not pleasure, but still he should be turned on by you, not some whore on the internet.
Honestly, as soon as his desire is awakened by some other woman he's not marriage material. How long until he's gonna have an affair if he can't "get going" with you alone??
I'm sorry, maybe I'm overreacting...

Toto - 20yo - level 1 -

4

Explain that while watching the webcam can be exciting, from time to time, it cannot happen all the time! Webcams are nothing more than a fantasy “ on screen”. But when one’s fantasy is painful to the other, it’s time to put the brakes on. If he truly loves you, he’ll get that! I’d say put a stop to the webcam for a while and put the focus back where it belongs. On the two of you!! Good luck!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -

3

Definitely talk to him. He probably doesn't even know you're thinking this, so you definitely ought to communicate. Be direct - "Hey, I've been thinking about it and this is affecting our sex life. I'd really appreciate if you spent some more time with just me and making sure we are connecting that way." Establish that your sex life is important to you, too, and that you want to be with him. Then, see how he reacts to this conversation. If he's positive about it, you can definitely introduce toys or role play to spice things up if you're feeling tongue tied. They sometimes can say things that words can't necessarily get across.

Finn - 21yo - level 10 -

3

You're going to have to talk to him. From what you shared, it was something you both agreed on at first, but you changed your mind and that's ok. Tell him what you've noticed and how it makes you feel. If he can't respect that and turn off the tablet, you have some big decisions to make before moving forward in the relationship, in my humble opinion.

3

I would make sure to turn it off before getting into it. How distracting, and hard to compete with! What you see on the scene is not real life usually and it can feel very awkward and false trying to imitate. Maybe having a conversation about what each of you get out of it, and what you don’t, might help. Outside of intimate moment, of course.

Christine - 45yo - level 41 -

2

I think hes not that into it. Make him put the tablet up. Try putting on some music or trying different moves

Jill - 29yo - level 2 -

2

Turn the porn off and have sex just the two of you

Alicia - 24yo - level 37 -

2

If my fiancee was more focused on webcam models than on me...I would seriously reconsider the engagement. I could not imagine focussing on anyone but my partner in the moment.

Leslie - 27yo - level 46 -

1

Talk to him and make sure you get his attention fully

Tidimalo - 23yo - level 8 -

1

Before a few months ago i wouldn't let my husband watch porn so he would do it behind my back and he thought i believed his lies but i told him its fine if he watches porn I'm not into that i feel highly uncomfortable watching it but i have opened up on bed for him hoping he wouldnt need porn but now he watches it like every chance he gets sometimes during sex i wish i never said yes too porn i know he wishes he had those other women beside just me.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -

0

Girl I feel you. My man is a pornhub frequent flier. I'm not into porn at all, I feel like I'm being replaced. Hang in there.

Christal - 47yo - level 6 -

0

My fiancee always on his phone or tablet i fear that's what he is looking at

CD - 43yo - level 23 -

0

I feel as tho if my man has to watch porn to get n the mood or get excited then we definitely hve problems. Also i feel like even tho i kno he cant reavh ythru the tv & touch em but if she was laying n front of him they woukd b fucking. I understand that men need the visual stimulation unlike women, but if he has to look at another woman then whats the point?! So we came to a common ground u coukd say... Why dont we make our own? ( my idea btw...) I myself hve very low self esteem & am very self conscious about the way i look altho he makes me feel like im beautiful still ive got my own issues there.
Making our own porn helps make me more comfortable in knowing its me hes lookn at & NO ONE ELSE.

Crystal - 43yo - level 1 -

0

So webcams are a big no no.... In my relationship. That's too personal. Me and my husband both enjoy watching porn sometimes alone but and a lot of the time together. Everyone is different though

Kimberly - 30yo - level 1 -

0

Omg. Yall .
My hubby has this whole virtual reality game system...
And yeah I caught him straight up having/watching Virtual Reality porn.

And according to him porn is natural for men...
Turning the issue into /
Like why am I even upset??

I put up with enough of his phone needs/addiction "2 get him in the mood" like straight trying to brain wash my morals? Convincing me that there's something wrong with me because EVERYONE watches porn...
But the VR .

I'm hurt really.
/=

Kristal - 28yo - level 1 -

0

Oh

Shane - 32yo - level 2 -

0

Tell him to put it away. Be honest how you ferl. Otherwise it's going to build up resentment and then the relationship will begin to drift apart.

Rhonda - 57yo - level 6 -

0

Turn off the porn. Maybe make your own? Talk filthy to him if you struggle face to face try it over text when hes at work? Say your his dirty slut and only his drives me insane when my ex and I did it my eyes were never off her. Surprise him with sex. Dress up and wait for him coming in

Craig - 24yo - level 1 -

0

Take phone or tablet away and kiss him passionately... speed things up fast by grabbing on him or sucking on him... that would get me going

Eric - 30yo - level 41 -

0

Turn off the porn..... it's that easy.... his mind is not on you, it's on fake bodys and good camera angles. You are putting yourself in a position where you are competing against the other girls during a time that his focus should only be on you. In his mind he is visualizing being with the other women in the video, and not with you....

Aaron - 39yo - level 21 -

0

its not something you say megan, if hes not in the mood hes not in the mood.

Gabriella - 18yo - level 21 -

0

Just relax, say what you feel when making love. Tt’s only as hard if you make it the more vocal you get the more, excited he will get its a win win for both of you. There's really nothing hard, tell him what feels good and how good how it feels when he is making love to you.

Joel - 48yo - level 1 -

0

no no no, no videos to get going download an app sex game or make one up.number is what your using to touch your partner on their skin dice 1 is a kiss 2 is a tounge 3 is a finger 4 is a hand 5 is sexual part 6 is reverse the number. as you each roll a 3 and a 4 is touch a finger in the hand. a 6 and a 5 is the person who rolled a six to use their sexual part and rub it on the one who rolled a 5

tim - 41yo - level 22 -

0

Take the tablet from him and pull his pants off and start blowing him. Or just tell him to fuck you or get out.

Buster - 42 ans - niveau 2 -

0

Visual aids are usually distracting during the act, best to watch, then act...

Pete - 45yo - level 41 -

0

Might be tough but try embracing what turns him on and do your best to make the most of it while accepting him. Then, at a later time, Express to him clearly, the kind of sex that gets you excited and clearly ask for it. “Will you please...” or “it gets me so turned on when you...” type statements can possible get you what you want including communication about less webcams. Do what he likes and then you can ask for what you like. The key is to presenting it in a way that doesn’t include reasons or guilt. Just ask for what you want and see what it gets you!

Kyle - 42yo - level 7 -

0

Don't say anything, just do. The more words the worst it is in my experience. Politely take his tablet and do whatever you desire. Good luck

Mansa - 32yo - level 6 -

0

Tell him exactly how you feel! If you build it up inside you, it may come out in an explosion. He should know how you feel and respect it.

Daniel - 38yo - level 26 -

0

Wow.........
Just looking at some of the comments lol
I wouldn't say turn the porn off.....I'd strip naked sit behind him ( if his laying then lay naked on top of him) run your fingers through his hair and whisper what your seeing, then run your fingers over any part of flesh u can see/touch .....
My girlfriend loves it,,,,,,she loves the whole naughtiness and I get equally excited......good luck 😉

Semira - 42yo - level 19 -

0