44 - 1805 - 6 months ago

My bf and I are quite serious. Somehow while discussing our future, the subject of wedding rings came up. I was surprised to learn that he has no intention of wearing a wedding ring when we get married(not engaged yet.) Out of curiosity, I asked and he told me that he never wore a ring in his previous marriage. He does not like wearing jewelry at all. Never has worn it, and doesn't plan on it. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I want him to wear a wedding band, but I don't want him unhappy/uncomfortable. He is a No-Frills kind of guy.

What do you think about this?

Sara - level 20

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6 months ago

Tell him thats ok then you can get one tatued on your finger

Derreck - 39yo - level 14 -
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6 months ago

One thing that is important to keep in mind is wearing weddings rings is a social construct from the 50's. No one really HAS to wear one at all. Or doesn't mean he's not committed. Honestly, men who wear a ring, in my area anyway, get hit on way more than men who don't wear one. At the end of the day it's just as much of a personal choice as it is a collective one. I am a guy who actually wears an engagement ring, and I prefer it. I like to display my commitment, and I just like to wear rings (I only go one or two on each hand.) My soon to be wife also wanted nre to wear one, but would have been okay if I didn't want to. Remember, a relationship is about being open and accepting with each other.

Craig - 22yo - level 18 -
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6 months ago

First I'd remind him your marriage isn't his previous one and same rules don't necessarily apply. Second I'd offer a couple alternatives to a standard ring which some guys can't wear for a variety of reasons (working with hands being the most viable). Tattoo or a silicone ring being the top two I would suggest. I don't believe a lack of trust is the only reason someone insists on a spouse wearing a ring but I do believe that little reminder is a big deal. I've been on both sides of this with not insisting and insisting on the "token" we exchanged being given the respect it deserves.

Jennifer - 47yo - level 28 -
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6 months ago

Wedding rings are not just a piece of jewelry but an expression of love letting others know that you're in a committed relationship. There are other options other than rings. You need to figure out what is the best for the both of you. Why is it important to you? His last relationship is not the same as his current. You can not make someone do something they don't want but you'll need to discuss it & come to some sort of compromise. There will be things that you'll be on opposite points of views. You'll need to compromise otherwise you'll begin to feel that one or the other always give in. My husband and I have been married for 39 years. There are mountain tops and valleys.

Kadria - 62yo - level 5 -
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6 months ago

Tell him that fine you won't wear one either.

Wade - 31yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Tattoo

Nick - 27yo - level 2 -
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6 months ago

I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I guess you need to think about why it bothers you and is it a deal breaker. Maybe you can agree on something else. Tattoo rings maybe?

Angel - 45yo - level 2 -
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6 months ago

Grow up

Michael - 43yo - level 26 -
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2 months ago

Nice

Alexandra - 34yo - level 11 -
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3 weeks ago

Michael, that is not very nice and I’m sure if they needed a jerk reply they could find it IRL.

Debra - 51yo - level 26 -
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6 months ago

I personally would tell him that it would be a new marriage, your marriage, and, you feel it necessary to wear bands. That it's tradition. And. It really helps on those days when you're so mad at one another, to see that ring on their hand. Or days when you just feel out of touch. A glimpse of the Ring, always gives a reassuring reminder that you said vows. That you're in it to win it. So. You feel that it would be unacceptable to not wear one

Amber - 27yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

Does he wear a watch because that's a form of jewelry then he can wear a ring, maybe you can compromise does he have any tatts maybe he could get his wedding ring tatted on his finger, or your name ...find a way to compromise but they also have wedding bands for people who don't like to wear jewelry such as myself and they're very smooth it almost feels like a naked bra sorry yes I'm a woman, lol.. Happy coupling

Jay - 31yo - level 10 -
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6 months ago

Talk reach an understanding or find someone else

Billy - 60yo - level 25 -
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6 months ago

If you love him, you're going to have to learn to deal/live with the fact that he doesn't like to wear jewelry, but that doesn't mean that you should not talk to him about how it makes you feel. Communication is very important.

Carly - 27yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

I get his whole not liking to not wear a ring...but to me I consider it sacred...it proves the bond you share with one another...you could always ask him to get a band tattooed on his ring finger if he is serious about the sacrad bond of marriage. ...if he says then its permanent...guess what its not hard to get it removed. Good luck and wish you the best!

Savannah - 30yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

I would be upset as a matter of fact my husband won't wear his. He requires that I do. Kind of one sided obviously.

Melissa - 36yo - level 13 -
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6 months ago

There are silicone wedding rings on Amazon but I plan on wearing because I work at my hands and I don't want to damage an actual ring.

Ben - 32yo - level 45 -
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6 months ago

How would he feel about you not wearing one, or hell wearing it on the wrong finger?!! (I wouldn't be okay with this because it's like saying "even though I am married, no one else would know" )I guess u should ask yourself how much u trust him.. and if u don't know then don't get married till you do.. otherwise, I guess you two will get new tattoos, a ring tattooed on your fingers. Because why not, its supposed to be for life anyways!!

Lisa - 39yo - level 11 -
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6 months ago

Neither me or my wife wear any wedding jewelry at all. She also didn't change her name. I just don't think it's necessary these days.

Damion - 26yo - level 32 -
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6 months ago

It depends on why you explicitly want him to wear one. If it's that you want to show ownership of him, that he is claimed, then you need to examine your trust issues. If it's that you want him to have a symbol of his commitment, something that corresponds to your ring, maybe there is another way (tattoos being an example) that can make a good compromise.

Brian - 47yo - level 43 -
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6 months ago

Whatever works for your relationship is ok. Too many people are caught up in "should." If the ring is important to you and he does not like jewelry, maybe some other reminder will do...tattoo, maybe?

Tee - 42yo - level 5 -
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6 months ago

Remember, wearing wedding rings is a personal choice. My hubby does not wear his ring for 2 reasons:
1. His job is labor intensive to wear it would be dangerous for him to wear.
2. It gets uncomfortable to him

He has said that he has thought about tattooing his finger, especially if I asked. I reassured him that it doesn’t bother me. I trust him 100% of him not needing to wear a wedding ring. He feels the same for me, I personally like to wear my engagement & wedding rings. We have been married for 9 years & together for 14 years. I hope this helped!

Jessica - 28yo - level 8 -
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6 months ago

Just let him be himself. This doesn't affect his love for you, or his commitment to you. This is unless you are insecure for some other reason, in which case I would recommend postponing your wedding.

Sonya - 52yo - level 52 -
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6 months ago

A lot of men do not like to wear jewelry. I don’t really think it’s something to worry about unless you know him to have worn it previously, and just won’t for you.

Carl - 34yo - level 48 -
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2 weeks ago

Wow, all these people who are suggesting you "make him" do this or that need to curve themselves. Relationships were not built nor stood standing by making demands of your spouse. My hubby doesn't want a ring either, I do. I settled on the simple fact I would get him one and if he choose to wear it was up to him. How weak does your own love look if you would cast him aside over a ring like half these comments. A good relationship is about give and take. Certainly, he has given you your way before and you must learn to do the same in time. If someone is uncomfortable with something and you force them to do they will just resent you for it. I would present the ring let him know why its important to you but also let him know that you understand whatever he chooses to do with it from that point. Good luck and happy vibes. ♡

Melissa - 27yo - level 21 -
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4 weeks ago

There's a reason he is divorced ... Any man would wear whatever would make his wife happy o mean it's a ring that has meaning . I'd think he don't wear it because either he don't want people to know he's married or he just doesn't care about the needs of the person that he shares hi life with

Nikki - 41yo - in a relationship for 10 years - Living together - 1 - Coon rapids,Mn, United States - level 19 -
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1 month ago

We have been married almost 19 years. Neither one of us has ever worn a ring. I heard a wise saying years back that said it better just not be a ring that shows you are unavailable. Your conduct better show you are of limits.

Matthew - 38yo - level 15 -
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1 month ago

Get a tattoo
It's a huge deal

Robert - 37yo - level 12 -
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1 month ago

Get a tattoo

Robert - 37yo - level 12 -
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2 months ago

Make him get a tattoo or wear the ring that's what I'm gunna do we are getting a ring tattooed around the finger

Amber - 25yo - level 5 -
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5 months ago

Personally, I'm finding it harder and harder to find a ring in my size, and when our original rings became to small we both wore them on a simple necklace.

LemonSkyy - 45yo - level 3 -
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6 months ago

I do not like rings either. They are very umpractical, especially if you work with your hands. I suggested substituting the ring for necklaces, and my wife liked the idea.

Angel - 32yo - level 31 -
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6 months ago

Surely y'all can find a compermise I am married and also don't like wearing jewelry plus the type of work I do could loose a finger so we plan on getting matching tattoos on our fingers of a ring and I'm trying a rubber ring which is not as bad

Bart - 39yo - level 15 -
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6 months ago

Neither of us likes jewelry or ever wears it. I made our wedding bands from paracord and we did use them for our ceremony but he carries them on our keys. We've tried using them now and again but work with our hands a lot so it's a struggle. We know we are married and so do most people. But also weve never been traditional.

Vanessa - 20yo - level 17 -
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6 months ago

You have to let him know it's a requirement for you... if he doesn't agree ....Get tattoos on ring fingers. Something has to symbolize his bond with you!

Jamila - 39yo - level 23 -
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6 months ago

Not sure that it’s such a big deal really! He is going to merry you right!? So your lucky then! Stop wasting your time on the stupid small things

Sarah - 38yo - level 3 -
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6 months ago

What about a tattoo ring

Erica - 25yo - level 10 -
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6 months ago

Well I’m kind of old fashioned, I’m also an Ironworker and a welder and I wear my ring all the time, in fact I have never taken it off since me and my amazing wife were married 10 years ago. I don’t like jewelry at all either but I will always wear my wedding ring, It means that I belong to my wife and she belong to me in a very public way. But that’s just me!!! Good luck

Aaron - 47yo - level 19 -
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6 months ago

I also talked about it with my bf, we decided that I will keep the engagement ring (coz I want to) and the wedding rings will be more like a symbolic gesture. We'll exchange rings at the ceremony but after those rings will go to a glass box or something like that to be displayed at our home.

Ana - 30yo - level 23 -
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6 months ago

Rings signify love, commitment, and union. Three very important and crutia things .l

Thomas - 45yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

My husband had never really liked jewelry. He was married for 17 years before me. He did not wear his ring, because of work. However; two years after his divorce, we met. Two years later, we were married. He was actually excited about wearing a wedding band, with me! Which made me so happy!! There’s only been one job site that actually had a rule that the workers NOT wear any rings, watches, bracelets or necklaces. ( he’s an iron worker/ welder. We travel all over.) This was in upstate NY. He told me about it and said he took it off right b4 entering the gate and it went back on as soon as he left the gate! He could’ve gone on and never said a word! But when we put our rings on, we vowed to never take them off. That was a tradition my parents, rest their souls, started. And I’m so glad we honored that! It’s a symbol that we love and are loved and committed, for life with another. And that’s what my parents did to the day they died ... together! That’s how the rings should be done. Period. And if he cannot wear one, there should be something equal to that!!!!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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6 months ago

You could always plant trees for each other, wear rings on necklaces, or people have been known to even carry engraved wallet cards. They're made from metal so you could even punch a heart or something out of them and make it into a necklace. Just some ideas that don't involve tattoos... Good luck!

Mary - 36yo - Living together - 2 - Moravian Falls, United States - level 16 -
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6 months ago

I think it’s good to discuss with him your preference but it’s also good to respect his wishes. So long as he’s faithful you shouldn’t worry too much about him wearing a ring.

Ailís - 21yo - level 8 -
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6 months ago

Good question seems like a lot of guys don’t wanna wear a ring ,are they keeping their options open ? Who knows? Maybe a tattoo or a silicone ring might be a better option

Michelle - 40yo - level 30 -
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6 months ago

Wants to have his cake and eat it too

Mandie - 37yo - level 9 -
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6 months ago

I doubt this.

Brian - 47yo - level 43 -
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6 months ago

I have the exact same problem with my bf. and I think in any good relationship there should be healthy compromise, ask him if he’d be willing to wear one when you guys are out and about or if he’d be more comfortable wearing it around his neck. But if it’s important to you he should make it important to him and try to somehow meet you in the middle.

Yarlene - 23yo - level 6 -
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