29 - 963 - 4 months ago

Me and my gf are living in a long distance relationship due to her school abroad. We'll move together in May but during past weeks she has talked a lot about needing a person to hug, cuddle and hang out with when I'm away. It was fine for me but last week she had sex twice with that close friend of hers. We both know we are meant for each other and even she can't understand how she was able hurt me and wasn't able to stop being horny in that situation with a friend/classmate. Now I affraid that it all will just continue and get worse during the next seven weeks. We are quite open minded but still what should I/we do? I really love her and want to continue our path, but how to keep things together?

Juho - 23yo - level 15

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4 months ago

You should break up with her. Your relationship is not going to work. If she can't wait for you, her feelings are not legitimate. Putting sexual satisfaction over your feelings means she doesnt respect your relationship. I don't care how open-minded you want to be. This is cheating. Sorry.

Andrew - level 30 -
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4 months ago

Holy man, you didn't even take the human being into consideration. We are all different, I am mono but I respect a poly. Next time try to think first, super harsh your comment

Madgscherly - 25yo - level 33 -
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4 months ago

Calm down Mad... I agree with Drew. A healthy relationship is mostly about communication and compromise. I was once in a similar situation, but my partner & I talked about it and agreed on having phone sex with each other until next time we met. I was surprised about how sensual and satisfying it was when done with someone you loved. To each their own friend. Godspeed.

Harry - 44yo - level 24 -
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4 months ago

That's true.. And that's what im and my partner into right now.. Horney isn't a green light for someone to cheat.

Just do phone/skype sex.

Hilmi - level 6 -
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4 months ago

My fiance and I have been together for 10 years and are very open and accepting. But even if you're open and flexible, your girlfriend did not run this past you and therefore broke the rules of your relationship. Just be prepared for her to do this again. I'd recommend looking up "ethical non-monogamy". Even in people who choose not to be monogamous, there are certain agreements. I wish you the best of luck!

Amanda - 30yo - level 37 -
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4 months ago

Let me give you an advice break up with her, she didn’t had any respect with your relationship what do you think She will do when you live together, even if you are on an open minded relationship she should have told you before and both could make a decision that’s how an respectful open minded relationship works . But from the bottom of my heart I can tell that If she actually loves you she would have never cheated on you I used to have an open minded relationship but my couple and I we decided to be loyal to each other and that’s Better.

Georgios - 21yo - level 12 -
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4 months ago

Was in the same situation with my first relationship many years ago.
She will do it again. She doesn't love you, she is just selfish and using you to have a connection home.

My advice: break up. There are plenty fish in the sea

Alexander - 30yo - level 40 -
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4 months ago

You need to cut ties .. If she can't wait 2 months then she is putting sexual gratification over your feelings.

Thomas - 45yo - level 16 -
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4 months ago

Do whatever makes you comfortable the most.
For me if we weren't agreed on seeing other people during this period, I would not accept if my bf slept wuth someone else, if I can control myself why can't he.
My advice for you : try to discuss with your gf how you both want the future period to be like till she got back home.

Rocio - 27yo - level 7 -
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4 months ago

Say bye. Choose better for yourself. Nevause you are wprth better.

Nate - 37yo - level 46 -
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4 months ago

If she is young, it won't be the last time. Even poly relationships have rules. Discuss what the boundaries are and maneuver accordingly

Lac - level 7 -
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4 months ago

She not committed. Sorry but this is the wrong way to start. I would move on. There are many more woman and you deserve more

Keith ferguson - 59yo - level 20 -
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4 months ago

It seems you two are young and she may not truly know what she wants yet. Remember: people will treat you however you allow them. When you gave her permission to cuddle up with another person, it may have sent the subconscious signal that cheating is okay and you will understand. As an individual, you should decide what's acceptable and unacceptable. Period. Honestly bro, I believe you already know what to do. Either way, it's gonna be alright.

Vernon - 33yo - level 10 -
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4 months ago

It sounds like you agreed to her having a friend to cuddle, not have sex- so that's infidelity. Can you forgive her? Will it stop? Is she willing to stop all contact with this person? Why can't she wait a short period of time for you? What would happen if you had a long term illness in the future? You need to answer these questions in order to stay. I think it is always worth it to give things a try until it's very clear, the decision. I hate regrets.

Sara - level 19 -
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2 weeks ago

She did it twice. You have to think about what she was doing and thinking. She knew she wanted to have sex that night, so she took a shower, got all prettied up, told you she loved you, went out with that attractive guy she'd been eyeing and flirting with for a while, they hung out together alone as usual, and they started touching and kissing. She thought about you for a second before she pushed you out of her head as she took off her clothes. Then they had sex, and were probably giggly and exploring new moves. Then when they were done, she put her clothes back on and called you at some point and told you she loved you. Then she texted that guy and made plans to do it again. She obviously enjoyed it and wanted more.
She had sex more than twice (guaranteed) and every time was premeditated, not an "oopsie." Plus, she might be thinking she'll only going to study abroad one time so she wants to experience everything as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, even if that means disregarding your relationship. It's better to ask forgiveness than ask for permission.
I don't know why she told you it happened once, and then she told you it happened *again.* There's no way she would have gotten caught, so maybe she told you because she wants you to end the relationship. It's easier to put it on the other person because that way they don't have to say "I cheated" and can have a somewhat delusional clear conscience about it and say "HE broke up with ME," which would be a twisted version the truth, but still saves them from looking bad.
You're young, I'm assuming she is too. One semester is NOT a long time to wait. If I were you, I would give her her independence back and take your dignity back. Don't be naive and reward her with your devotion and a place to live when she's done "studying." Can you even look at her the same? Can she look you in the eye as an honest, changed person? Hopefully this adds some perspective. Best of luck to you.

celly - 33yo - level 21 -
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4 months ago

Go there

Matthew - 34yo - level 12 -
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4 months ago

She's not mature enough to be committed. When you are committed and find yourself attracted to someone else, you distance yourself from the threat to your relationship. It isn't going to get better in 7 weeks. Relationships have dry spells. Someone gets sick or a family member needs more time (think children.) Confessing it doesn't absolve her. Masturbation was always an option.

Beth - 51yo - level 26 -
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4 months ago

You should dump the bitch. It doesnt matter how open-minded you are,she cheated on you twice in one week. No one gets THAT horny to be so mindless and cheat on a person they claim to love twice in one week. Dump and move on. Being able to overcome and deal with the

Katija - 22yo - level 30 -
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4 months ago

You should dump the bitch. It doesnt matter how open-minded you are,she cheated on you twice in one week. No one gets THAT horny to be so mindless and cheat on a person they claim to love twice in one week. Dump and move on. Being able to overcome and deal with urges is what separates man from animal!! Especially girls, we deal with that better than guys so there s no way what she’s telling you is true! She could hsve controlled herself - she just didnt want to

Katija - 22yo - level 30 -
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4 months ago

Respect is the most important thing in a relationship and it’s the hardest thing to repair. Cheating is disrespect. Cut your losses and move onto a more respectful relationship

Erin - 27yo - level 36 -
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4 months ago

I will say just one thing.
She will do it again.
So are you prepared to handle this situation?
So decision is completely yours but take that in consideration, she might justify it but she will do it again.

Mohit - 25yo - level 11 -
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4 months ago

Leave her. Me and my bf had a long distance relationship for one year and we seem fine. We do phone sex some times. For me its just weird to do sex with other man rather than my man. I dont want any 'peacock' inside mine except my man. We could handle it until he moves to my town. Once again, leave her. She don't deserve you. Thanks

yohanna - 21yo - level 6 -
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4 months ago

I know you probably want to give her the benefit of the doubt... however, I am also in a long distance relationship. It's hard, there has been many temptations with both of us and being lonely and not fulfilled in certain aspects. However, in this situation even if it is a close friend, it's still cheating and she was unable to control herself and next time this happens.. it may not be with a close friend. It may be worth another person she met.. it will become a cycle and in the end only you get hurt, because you're waiting for her to come back and maybe she wont come back to you and it sucks but that's the reality of it... if you guys were meant to be she would be able to control it until you got there or at least try...

Mackenzie - 20yo - level 18 -
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4 months ago

She had sex with another man, TWICE. In my eyes, she's not faithful and that's it. For me, personally, that would be the end of the relationship.
"she doesn't understand either" plays no role, she's shown you "twice" that you're not the only one for her.
Sorry to be so harsh but I cannot tolerate such behaviour...

Toto - 20yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

You both should have a clear and truly honest conversation about what each of your boundaries and deal breakers are. Once those critical items have been laid out between you both, it will be clear what you need to do as far as next steps.

Please keep in mind that in order to have this kind of a conversation, each of you has to first decide those boundaries and deal-breakers for yourself. This ensures you are not swayed by the other person's responses.

All the best to you and your girlfriend. Peace.

Natasha - 37yo - level 37 -
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4 months ago

Break it up boy. If she love you very much she'll not slept with other guy..

Just whore slept with alot lf guy when she in relaytionship.

And to people that butthurt because im said you're whore if you slept with other guy/girl.. Fuck off..

Hilmi - level 6 -
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4 months ago

If she really that horney just do skype / call sex. HORNEY IS NOT THE REASON TO CHEAT.

Hilmi - level 6 -
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4 months ago

To be honest with you this relationship might not go well unless you want it to be open and have sex partners on the sude while being with her and vice versa. Cheating wont stop if you are with her. And being horny is not an excuse

Evelina - 20yo - level 2 -
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4 months ago

Time to leave her. You’re just a person to her and that’s obvious

Kay - 27yo - level 25 -
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4 months ago

Break it off. If she cared enough she would have spoken more about her feelings and with what her thought process was like. There is multipule ways for you both o have kept it fresh and fun during your time apart as it was only temporary.
You need to remember yourself self worth and what you deserve and want from a relationship. Consider this a learning experiance and take the time you need to recover. You don't need this potential distress to follow you into the next relationship.

Dale - 27yo - level 7 -
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4 months ago

I think you should break up with her and say that this is kind of relationship is inacceptable for you if you want to save your self-respect and self esteem.. Having sex with a ‘friend’ can not occur with loving and caring partner even if he has to wait for some time to reunite. She even told about this fact herself! So it is not possible to keep thing together at the moment. Maybe, when you break up, your value may grow, and she will feel that she can’t treat you this way, it will be possible to continue. You also should distract yourself and immerse into hobbies, work/study etc, do not focus on her. She has already demonstrated her attitude towards you, so please pull yourself together and focus on your needs.

Olga - 24yo - level 15 -
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4 months ago

Happiness is the key factor here. Your happiness. Her happiness. I personally don’t find any justification to cheating even if it’s a long distance relationship. But I just hope that everything works out.

Caitlin - 19yo - level 7 -
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4 months ago

Have a honest open line of communication let her know how you feel and what you are feeling then both of you agree on some type of plan or agreement with each other maybe you can video call and enjoy some sexual release that way until you are together

Derek - 35yo - level 10 -
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