27 - 678 - 7 months ago

We recently found out that I have heart failure... two days after he proposed. It has put a strain our relationship. It seems like he is angry all of the time. How do I comfort him, battle heart failure and take care of my rebelling 7 year old son all at the same time?

Shelby - 27yo - level 17

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7 months ago

This is heart breaking and I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. You don’t have to comfort him. Let him grieve. Let him be angry. And then when he is ready to cry, just hold him and tell him you love him. ♥️ Praying for you and your family

Sarah - 26yo - level 8 -
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7 months ago

It will pass, and it's gonna be okay.

Heng - level 8 -
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7 months ago

Thank you. ❤

Shelby - 27yo - level 17 -
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7 months ago

I think you are the one who needs more of the support at this moment. It is happening to you. It would only make sense because how can you help others when right now you arw going through some health complications yourself. I think you can acknowledge to him how hard it must be for him, maybe a few therapy sessions can help or meeting with a priest or close friend(s) where he can get more support would be nice, he can air out his emotions there and than be able to give you the support you need for yourself and your son. Take it easy, and best of luck!

Yesenia - 35yo - level 39 -
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7 months ago

Yes, everyone is focused on him when it should be the other way around. If he’s angry so be it, but he should put himself in her shoes and quit being selfish.

Daniel - 45yo - level 16 -
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7 months ago

Sweetheart all you can do is be yourself, support and hug where you can. Deflect the anger, and ignore his temper because he is afraid and not showing it in a healthy way. The best you can do is stay strong and be the rock your family needs.

Helena - 25yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

Maybe he's not the one for you if this is the way he is acting right now...

Duane - level 19 -
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7 months ago

Probably he should try therapy, he need to grieve and accept this. As of you, you have to remember that he's not angry at you or because of you, he's angry because this situation sucks, it's quite a normal response. Try to explain to him that you probably feels alone when he's like this and try help each other with your emotions, maybe if he can do something to help you he would feel less powerless? What's for sure is that you can't do it all alone, call friends and family and everyone.
Best of luck

Cecilia - 29yo - level 29 -
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7 months ago

Try and spend as much time together as you can. Get to know him again and remind him of how much you love him and how much he loves you (after all he did propose). You have heart failure so there is no telling what could happen, so make as many memories as you can and enjoy it every bit of it. As for your son do spend a lot of time with him as well because this’ll be hard on him too. I can’t say exactly how to deal with your son since I don’t know much about him, but try the best you can and make memories with him too that he will never forget. Then for battling your heart failure. I’ve never experienced anything to do with heart failure so I can’t say anything to help. You’re going to have to do that solo and do your research and try the best you can. Be strong and persevere. You have a lot to deal with but dealing with it is possible. You just have to make the best out of it.

Lizzy - 14yo - level 2 -
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7 months ago

Focus on the here and now. Sorry for the bad news you got, but don't let that stop you from loving and living! You have apparently a smart fiance who loves you enough to marry and a active son. Spend time just communicating with you future husband and don't stress. Love and love hard both men in your life, take it easy, and NO STRESSING. #ForReal

Renee - level 14 -
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7 months ago

First be sure you are getting the best care for the heart failure to assure your quality of life. Speak with your fiancé regarding his feelings related to your diagnosis. Utilize family and support systems that you live and trust to help with your son.

Erica - level 1 -
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7 months ago

I'm so sorry this has happened. I cant even imagine what you and your family is going through right now.
My advice is go to a counselling session or two. Things like this have to be discussed and processed, but it can be difficult to do that on your own sometimes with such heavy subjects. A therapist will simply be there to help the two of you work through those feelings, thoughts, fears, etc. And will be there afterwards to reccomend some strategies on where to go from where you currently are.
Wishing you both all the best ❤

Elena - 22yo - level 14 -
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7 months ago

Heart failure is reversible. I know because my mom's reversed,and we were just told yesterday. You ned therapy. Take time to rest. Explain to your son and your fiance that things will get better,but you need them to be patient with you. Most ofnall,keep praying,and have faith that it will get better. The therapy will work,if you get it and change your diet. I'm praying for you,and congrats on your engagement! Remember,it is not a death sentence. You'll just need to monitor what you eat. I know you can do it.

Lauren - 26yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Just let him know you love him. And try to make his life simpler. Do those little things that mean that he can relax a bit more. Dont necessarily treat him differently, just... make him his packed lunch one morning because you feel like it. Or put in a nutella sandwich just because you feel like it. And then focus on your son. When your fiancee is ready, he will talk to you. Just make sure he knows you are there when he needs it. What he might be afraid of is that you view him differently. He has been made aware that he’s not immortal, which is scary and he needs time to deal with that. Until then dont push him. And lastly, the person that he is needs to outshine the illness that he has. Treat him and love him as he is and dont let the illness take over more than it has to. As someone who has dealt with a lot of illness in the family that is the most important thing. And lastly I want you to know that you are not alone in this either. Reach out to friends and family and spend time with them. Your health is equally important to his

Cecilie - 23yo - level 22 -
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7 months ago

I can’t begin to know the pressure you feel! But I can say that “self care “, right now is what you need to focus on. Focus on taking care of you and remind those you love that that is what you need and the rest should fall into place. If your fiancé does not fall in line and stand by you now, he would not have been the husband for you... ever!! Your son doesn’t understand why his Mommy has to be sick. It isn’t fair! Just be patient and kind and love him through it. He’ll get there! I’m 47! I lost both my parents in a mass shooting in 2017 and I’m still mad and confused! I can only imagine what’s going through a child’s head imaging that he’s losing his mom and he can’t stop it. So just let him be a little boy and feel! Hel has to process, just like you do. I’m so sorry you are going through this! If you ever need a shoulder or an ear, I’m here! Bless you!!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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7 months ago

You poor thing, don't ever forget communication is key. Let him know how you're feeling all the time and let him know that he doesn't have to go about this on his own. He has a number of different support systems behind him and that you'll never stop loving him. I think that you guys will be able to make it as long as you stick together and continue to work as a team. Play lots of fun things to do with one another and stay strong.

Kate - 25yo - level 18 -
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7 months ago

Sometimes people can get frustrated when they feel powerless, and medical issues can make anyone feel that way, especially when it's happening to a loved one. Let him know how much just being there can help, and if there's anything he can do to help you better fight your condition, try to include him in that way as well.

Elliot - 22yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

I think he's probably struggling right now and isn't handling it in a productive way. If I could imagine myself in his shoes, I can understand it. He might benefit from seeing a professional. It could help. As for you, I am SO heartbroken for you. That is terrible and so sad. I hope somehow there's a miracle for you, like a heart transplant. Take care of yourself and your own mental well being too. I'm so incredibly sorry.

Eileen - 34yo - level 45 -
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7 months ago

I will pray for u and your family.
It is natural for your son to react this way dnt take ny further stress he will b fine just give him some time

Sanobar - level 9 -
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7 months ago

Thank you everyone for the support. They are transferring me to a different doctor out of state to a Mel clinic because my condition is so rare. 27 years old with heart failure is not something you see every day. If the medication they have me on doesn't help improve my heart by the end of this month they are going to put me on the transplant list which might take a while because I have A negative blood. We have sat down and talked about the consequences if things go wrong and have set up an appointment with an attorney to make my will and testament so he can keep my son. The adoption takes a year so hopefully I can make it that long. As for my son. He is the sweetest little boy ever. His issue is that he won't do his work in school and he won't do his homework. I know it's because I am always in and out if the hospital and it's almost like he just gave up on school. He spent 7 hours doing 4 pages of homework yesterday. Which is irritating for me because I have to sit with him and force him to do it and he still won't. It doesn't help that his teacher is awful and called him a lazy loser. I put in multiple complaints and it just keeps getting worse with her and they won't let me switch teachers. I will update this after I see my doctor tomorrow. Thank you guys for the advice. 💌

Shelby - 27yo - level 17 -
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7 months ago

Have you thought about an online school for your son. He is at an age where the curriculum would be easy enough for you to help him and he would get to spend more of his time with you, which it sounds like he needs. He doesn't need the stress of a teacher that doesn't understand on top of worrying about his mom.

Jennifer - 47yo - level 29 -
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7 months ago

What kind of teacher tells her student that, and what kind of school tolerate such teacher. If things go wrong, and I wish they don't🙏Then what's most important for you and your boy is to make the most of the time you have together. That's how you will be remembered, and you need to seize everyday to tell your boy everything you want him to know. No matter what, this will be the life changing experience for him, and I'm sure you want him to remain hopeful about the future. Lastly, I believe how you view your situation will affect your physical condition, try to be more optimistic and cheerful, and it will also influence everyone around you.

Heng - level 8 -
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7 months ago

Keep holding on... we often discover ressources and strenghts when we need them. Keep it light as much as possible involve froend and family if possible to help.I wish you the best!

Lily K - 30yo - level 2 -
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7 months ago

Remind him how important the time you have left is, and how much you want to spend that time being happy with him. Even if you're both upset, putting on the happy face can actually help, especially when a young child is involved. Try to enjoy every moment possible, no matter what.

Toni - 29yo - level 7 -
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7 months ago

Try to do the most you can to get better, I am sure you can live a long life even with this condition, just taking more care aboutt yourself. Good luck!

Dina - 28yo - level 14 -
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7 months ago

Jesus and Grace

Tobi - 40yo - level 11 -
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7 months ago

Tell him that you love him and that he is doing a good job on the things he is doing. And hope he does the same. Blessed Be.

Auston - 29yo - level 7 -
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7 months ago

Praying for you and your family🙏

Heng - level 8 -
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7 months ago

One day at a time dear! Sorry to hear about your heart failure, maybe he seems angry because he fears he may lose you!

Kia - 34yo - level 6 -
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7 months ago

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this, I have a feeling that you are a strong woman though and that you will get through this as long as you take it one step at a time. I am praying for you and your family. ❤️

Kate - 25yo - level 18 -
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7 months ago

Jesus

Ethan - 28yo - level 37 -
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7 months ago

Jesus

Tobi - 40yo - level 11 -
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