143 - 9596 - 1 year ago

Should you have sex with your partner even if you aren't in the mood but be/she is?

Amanda - 45yo - level 22

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Reactions (143)

1 year ago

No. If my wife wasnt in the mood I wouldn't want her to feel like she needs to have sex with me. That's not a wifes responsibility. No one is owed sex.

Gary - 29yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Really

Carlos - level 1 -
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3 months ago

Y’all, that’s not what the question is asking. It’s saying even if you aren’t in the mood but your partner is, do you have sex with them? Not the other way around.

Lucy - 22yo - level 8 -
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1 year ago

Thanks for answering my question. My husband and I have always been honest with each other about sex. I remember one of the first things he told me was that if I'm just doing it to for him, or just to please him, he'd rather wait for another day. The last thing he wanted was to think I was doing it just because he wanted it.
On the other hand, there are times when I'm not really in the mood (or I don't think I am), but it's just because I'm tired, etc. There are times when I’ve said yes to sex when I wasn't really feeling it, but then as soon as we start kissing or making out, I'm so glad he did and it's suddenly game on!
I even told him that the next time I say I'm tired at the end of the day, etc. I want him to try kissing me anyway because sometimes I just need a push to get into it. Of course, he has refused, despite the fact that I know we'd have a lot more sex than we do.

Amanda - 45yo - level 22 -
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1 year ago

Your husband sounds like a gentleman. Bless you both!

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1 month ago

Thanks for this. Ive done and said things that I really wasnt down for just to please my boyfriend and it wound up biting me in the ass. He just wanted me to speak up and tell him what I was truly feeling. This really affirmed it all. Thank you.

Joshua - 29yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

Yes, within reason. If your partner is emotionally or physically abusive and sex makes you feel worse, obviously having sex just for them is not the greatest plan. However, if you are in a monogamous relationship and one of you has a higher sex drive, you both need to learn to compromise and figure out what works for both of you. If one of you wants to have sex three times a day and the other wants to have sex once a month, it’s not fair to just have sex once a month. Everything else in a relationship is a compromise. I don’t know why people think sex shouldn’t be. Also, oral sex is something you can do to show your partner you care even when you don’t particularly feel like having sex yourself. Bottom line: don’t be selfish. Sex is a relationship need just like communication, non-sexual touch, and quality time. If you are constantly refusing sex to your partner, maybe you should ask yourself how you would feel if you partner stopped meeting the relationship needs that are important to you. A relationship goes both ways.

Laci - 33yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

No. If you do not want to have sex, you shouldn't force yourself. It could create negative feelings associated with the activity that could make it more difficult to get in the mood at other times. This is especially true if your partner is pressuring you or trying to make you feel guilty for not wanting to.

Danielle - 23yo - level 21 -
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1 month ago

I have sex with my partner Nathan even though I might not be in the mood. It does seem to back fire and create negative feelings that I tend to harbor towards having sex with him. Nathan trends to be very insecure about our togetherness and always seem to think that he's not good enough for me or that I am not interested in him anymore. This is why I tend to have sex with him even if I am not in the mood.

Brian - 50yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

Well, I would rather she be in the mood. I want more than just her body in the moment. I need to connect emotionally and physically during sex. I Really want that with the woman I am married to. If she is too busy or preoccupied to show some real attention AND intention, I’d rather we not do it. Just saying to me “I will never deny you” is not the same as saying to me “I want you, I need you, I desire you.” Pity sex is shitty sex.

Cordell - 40yo - level 20 -
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1 year ago

I couldn’t agree more!! I feel the same way’. Although I’ve never said no to m hubby, in 10 years, unless I was sick or had a migraine. Not out of a sense of obligation, but out of desire for him! I never do not want to have him! Except for 1st thing on the morning, I must admit! I’m not a morning person... for. ANYTHING!! I’m a total bitch until I’ve had 2 cups of coffee.. lol’ ( I hate that! I wanna be better at that but I just can’t! I’ve tried sooo hard!) But he also doesn’t ask or try during those times! But he has told me no! I feel rejected then! ( emotionally) I know, it’s stupid! But I’d rather have no sex than, what I call a charity fuck! But I think I feel so strongly at those moments, because I’m wanting to make love, not fuck! I’m needing that true emotional plug in. Make sense? I sure hope so!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

If there is safety in the relationship, being intimate and serving on your spouse can be beneficial. I find I can almost always get in the mood after we've started anyway so it almost always brings us closer together.

That being said, if there is a lack of safety in the relationship, be it emotional or physical, it's important to honor your own emotions and not do something to you don't feel safe doing. I've found when I chose to be intimate because I thought it was the right thing to do but I wasn't comfortable with it, it always hurt our relationship more in the long run than if I had just said no initially

Charlynn - 27yo - level 37 -
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1 year ago

Sometimes Sweet persuasion is mood changing & other times not so much. Depends if it's a grey situation or black & white. Black & White..Nope. Grey...talk with me Sweetie 😉😉😘

Mary - level 19 -
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1 year ago

No, sex should be enjoyable for both sides. If you don't want to at the moment you should say no.

Sara - 21yo - level 46 -
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1 year ago

Should is a funny word. But in general, yes. There are many times you should do things you don’t want for your partner and vice versa. That’s the partnership. Sometimes you won’t and that’s fine but some of the time you should do it for them just like anything else in the relationship you may not “feel” like doing. Not supporting their sexual needs isn’t healthy so there should be a balance between both partners.’ Needs.

Ebony - 33yo - level 6 -
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1 year ago

No. I want my partner and me to feel at comfortable and wanting to have sex too. It is so much better when the feeling is mutual.

If this mutual craving is never happening there might be deeper problems or insecurities in this case it would be really good to have a talk about what's bothering you or your partner and try to resolve it :)

Yuri - 27yo - level 32 -
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1 year ago

This is a very common issue with a ton of couples, including me and my husband. We are both currently reading Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, a sex researcher/educator and I HIGHLY recommend it. There are some kind of uncomfortable parts but it has really helped me/my husband understand our attitudes, perceptions, feelings, etc. toward sex. Good luck! 😊

Kimberly - 45yo - level 39 -
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3 months ago

Come As You Are is a FANTASTIC book and incredibly educational. And funny!

Dayna - 39yo - level 20 -
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1 year ago

No if it is not comfortable for
ME or I’m not in the mood that means I wont enjoy it

Georgios - 21yo - level 12 -
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2 months ago

Your own enjoyment it's not the one that is important. It's the need of your partner that the question is asking about. Should you do it for your partners benefit our not?

Antione - 25yo - level 11 -
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3 months ago

No. It'll be akward! You'll be able too tell if they don't want to.

Quenny - 33yo - level 1 -
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9 months ago

I am always in the mood for my ol man I crave him n love feeling him inside me always

Tina - 41yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

I say do what feels right.

Kate - 25yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

Yes...its a give and take. You won't always be in the mood at the same time. This goes both ways if you want sex and he isn't in the mood he should also put your needs first. Its about putting the needs of your partner before your own.

Emily - 35yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

It depends. I would say yes for the most part. My partner has shut me down numerous times because she isn't in the mood. I however have always had sex when she wanted to. Granted, I'm hornier than she is and I initiate it more often so I understand where she's coming from. I just always want to please her. I know she wants to please me too, but its different when I'm coming at her pretty much daily. I'll put it like this: if you have a healthy sex life, then it's ok to refuse sometimes. If you're barely ever in the mood and your partner is always left wanting, you better get your ass in the mood.. make or female.

Drew - level 14 -
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1 year ago

Male* or female

Drew - level 14 -
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1 year ago

If she is barely in the mood, the problem is not sexual motivation but the lack of it stemming from a deeper rooted disconnect that needs to be resolved. If it's a disrespectful relationship, she wouldn't be able to feel close to him, forget about agreeing to have sex with him.

Tee - level 5 -
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1 month ago

But, what if a person finds him or herself in a situation where due to a health emergency such as insulin reaction from your own diabetes that happened too suddenly during intercourse, you have to stop intercourse, but your partner still wants sex and tries to coerce you more than 3 times to continue even though you told him you have to stop sex and eat to raise your bloodsugar level? That happened to me. So, I told my now ex-boyfriend that I needed to stop sex due to insulin reaction and that I meeded to eat to raise it to not pass out. He said "But I didn't get to complete." (His way of saying "to orgasm). So, I reiterated what I'd just said. He repeated his response with what came off as anger, grabbing me, lightly. I got up, got something to drink, and he then asked me for a BJ. I said that I stil need to eat to raise my bloodsugar, but that I guess I could give him that instead of intercourse cus then "I might not pass out at the end of that action like I would intercourse at this point." To which he responded "Okay." So, I gave him a BJ. He let me despite my health. I ate then passed out because I hadn't gotten to eat in time. But, he got what he wanted despite my insulin reaction not having been handled in time. I asked a sexual assault hotline if what he did was illegal. They said that yes it was cus sexual coercion is a crime, especially in the case of a health emergency. In my case, it is the equivelant of rape due to insulin shock situation and his unwillingness to allow my health issue to first be taken care of before jos wants were satiated via me giving him that sexual act.

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1 year ago

Quick answer is yes. You should also workout when you don't feel like it and take the trash out when you don't feel like it.

Pete - 45yo - level 40 -
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1 year ago

So you think sex should be treated as a chore?

Tee - level 5 -
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1 year ago

In this social climate of course not.

Fred - 40yo - level 33 -
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1 year ago

Yes if it's been awhile

Josh - 35yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

Most definitely. If you meet each other's needs then you know if cheating goes on they just wanted to cheat. It's their character not circumstances.

tonya - level 14 -
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1 year ago

No if they truly love you they can understand

Jonathan - 30yo - level 6 -
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1 year ago

How about if you are truly attracted to them you at keast give them a chance to turn you on and not deny and reject any kind of interaction all together

Tobi - 40yo - level 11 -
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1 year ago

As long as you give it willingly and not resentful.

Spencer - 37yo - level 43 -
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3 days ago

Yes. Sometimes, but if you really are upset, hurt, or mad then this would probably only make you feel worse in the long run.

Holly - 38yo - level 1 -
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1 week ago

No that's disrespectful to your spouse and can be considered forceful if made to have sex with spouse weather or not warranted by the other

Tabitha - 35yo - level 14 -
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2 weeks ago

100%u do u harden the fuk up own that shit and be best on ground

anonymous - 43yo - level 3 -
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2 weeks ago

For me, it wouldn't take much to get in the mood! She is Crazy Sexy! And I will stop traffic if necessary to satisfy her!😁

David - 57yo - level 4 -
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3 weeks ago

Of course. Wouldn't you want them to do it for you?

Kerri - 38yo - level 4 -
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3 weeks ago

Yes

Dann - 58yo - level 1 -
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3 weeks ago

Sure if your partner let's you off the hook sometimes with no force then you should return the favor. Teamwork!!!!

Brenda Aubrey - 51yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes

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1 month ago

Yes I think so , just its easier to end up having sex if time is made to lay alone and to keep the topic about memoirs and positive things.

It's so hard to even think about sex if your thinking of nothing but the weight of the world crushing down on your shoulders.

At least for me it is I may be different than everyone else to.

Not h as being sex doesnt me I dont love my wife Nicole - it's that It never has time to cross my mind.
I worry all the time about everything .

Its aging me , aging me really bad..
But I still Nicole everyday through every arguement caused by stresses most people never have to fear.
And the fears and strain never goes away .
Never.

Keith - 45yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes, as long as it wasnt forced. I always want to please my man

Sarah - 36yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

It depends on the details. If you're in real pain physically or there's a major emotional issue (like death in the family, etc...) then No 0bviously but u should try to please him especially if he'd do the same for you

Aimee n Rocky - 44yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes

Thomas - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Depends on how things in.our relationship have been
If I don't feel neglected, then for sure ,otherwise No way!

Shay - 57yo - in a relationship for 39 years - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes. Hey down and get funky.

Brian - 50yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

It depends, sometimes I'm not in the mood but he knows that when my depression get bad I wont be in the mood but afterwards I feel a lot better. So sometime I have to tell him that I'm willing to try but hes going to have to probably put in more foreplay than usual. But if you really arent in the mood and you know it wont change than he should be considerate of that, likewise if it has been going on for a while where you haven't been in the mood maybe you should think about ways to help get yourself in the mood.

Genevieve - 28yo - level 10 -
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1 month ago

Yes compromise is the key

Shawna - 37yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes

Shawna - 37yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes, making sure one anoanotheris satisfied is important in a relationship.

Mimi - 37yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Something that would be very special and very sweet and tender complete as a couple with joy and respectful each other's Love and honesty do God happiness do everything to have the drawing peace and satisfaction for life together forever

Dwayne - 59yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Yes i'm allways in the mood for sex

Corey - level 1 -
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1 month ago

Sometimes starting sex can get you in the mood. I would say yes especially if you experience low sexual frequency and want to get your groove back.

Nicole - 42yo - level 18 -
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1 month ago

I think in a healthy relationship, it's important to understand how both the partners stand when it comes to sex. I feel that you should have sex with your partner when you're in the mood as well. Sex becomes great when both the partners are in the mood of doing it and you're not just doing it for tgeir sake. And if you have a nice and understanding partner, they'll definitely understand that.

Priyangi - 19yo - - level 45 -
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1 month ago

Hi amanda

Kamal - 36 ans - niveau 1 -
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2 months ago

Yep to some degree. If you are held to the standard to always be nice, courteous and loving with your spouse, when when you don't feel it, why is sex any different??? 🤔

Shaw - 30yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

YES!!

Daniel - level 4 -
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2 months ago

I think it's a complicated question. No, you shouldn't have sex just for your partner when you don't want to have sex.

However, if you would want to have sex, but are not in the mood (yet).. I do think that, if you want, you can try to get in the mood. If you know your partner has a higher libido and you want to try and meet them more in the middle. Prepare yourself. Do what helps you to get in the mood. Take a long shower or bath (together), lights some (scented) candles. Wear something you feel sexy and confident in.
Also talk to your partner what they can do to help you get in the mood. Cuddling. Giving you a massage, kissing you in a specific way or place. Telling you certain stuff. Maybe experiment with it. Places to have sex, positions, props. Try to find things that really turn you on and want to make you come back for more.

Geesje - 29yo - level 21 -
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2 months ago

Have fun is more berfect than sex ....as my exp.

Sam - 39yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Sometimes

Martin - 45yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Hell yea

Charity Barnaby - 34yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Yep

Kevin - 52yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

I do then I get in the as soon as he starts.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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2 months ago

A Godly marriage is the best! The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...

Rick - 50yo - level 6 -
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2 months ago

My husband nags me and picks me a part till I am pissed off and I give him some but I dont enjoy it

Tabitha - 35yo - level 14 -
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1 month ago

Hi

Kamal - 36 ans - niveau 1 -
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2 months ago

If I see or sense that he's in the mood, it turns me on... and I think it's that way for him...lol and we do it. Almost every night. We may skip a night or 2 every 2 weeks ... we are making 13 yrs next month. And I can't complain...

Tonya - 33yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

If physically able. My mood changes once I get started :)

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2 months ago

Absolutely

Jessie - 29yo - level 9 -
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2 months ago

Most definitely

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2 months ago

Hell yes never pass on a piece of ass at home

Wade - 44yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Be cause if it happens over a d over she WILL go elsewhere

Wade - 44yo - level 1 -
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2 months ago

Absolutely let him/her attempt to get you in the mood. Yes, if my partner is in the mood and willing to try to put me in the mood for mutual desire then I will try...and we end up having a great time.
However, If I'm in the mood and my boyfriend isn't, I wish he would try or let me try to get him in the mood. But he doesn't. He'll say okay, and just as we are getting started he pulls away, makes up an excuse and leaves the bedroom to go do a chore or goes to talk to our roommates, or he's too tired and rolls over and goes to sleep, etc. 😥

Kristin - 43yo - level 3 -
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2 months ago

I personally would most of the time but not always. I would not, however want her to if she really does not want to.

Jared - 33yo - level 20 -
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3 months ago

Yes.....of course .....unless its a medical/pain thing.....otherwise......suck it up buttercup .....we should always try to venture a bit out of our comfort zone if necessary.....thats the kinds of stuff that will build a stronger .....more devoted relationship. Although if it is a painful or medicinal.reason ......then by all means.....it's a definite NO.....but be honest with your partner and explain that he/she is still loved and desired but unfortunately it just won't be a good idea for tonite at least.

Jeff - 55yo - level 1 -
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3 months ago

No.

Dayna - 39yo - level 20 -
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3 months ago

I don't think in a relationship there should ever be a time where one partner is not interested. Because as a couple you should be aware of each other's emotions feelings xcetera. Also there is a way to entice one another if you notice or assume that your partner might not give you the answer you are hoping for. It's all about presenting yourself in a sensual exotic way.

Yvonne - 33yo - level 11 -
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3 months ago

I have before... depending on the mood. Once things began i got into it and glad i gave in.

Heather - 34yo - level 1 -
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3 months ago

Absolutely....first of all as a christian the bible says we should submit to our partner. Otherwise it allows a reason for your partner to commit adultry. I'm not saying it's right or even a good reason but it does present a reason. Besides the fact that you want your partner to always know they are wanted and needed. Of course there are exceptions but simply because your not in the mood is not good enough. If your in love you'll be in the mood as soon as your partner begins foreplay with you.

Peter - 49yo - level 6 -
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3 months ago

This ain't it, chief.

Dayna - 39yo - level 20 -
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4 months ago

Yes you should.

Bryan - 50yo - level 13 -
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4 months ago

Yeah I think I will

Adam - 36yo - level 2 -
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4 months ago

Not if it'll cause negativity.

Thing 2 - 31yo - level 11 -
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4 months ago

No

Ruben - 39yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

I have the opposite problem. My bf never seems interested, never initiates, always makes it feel like it's an obligation. If I never initiated or expressed intent I worry I'd have no sex life.

Justine - 35yo - level 1 -
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4 months ago

Ji

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4 months ago

Hi

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4 months ago

If i wasnt feeling it he knows how to deal with i get surprised!
He knows my keys ! He can turn me on thats for sure but If i was tired who wont force it on me we will cuddle and munching on snacks and watch movies or seeies then i might feel like it later who knows !

Nadaalkikle - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Yes, because if my partner is in the mood and willing to try to put me in the mood for mutual desire then I'm more than happy to try. If I'm in the mood and he isn't I would only hope he would be willing to try.

April - 42yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Ummm, yes!

Kash - 42yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Yes

William - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Yes, people.watch shows or go to movies or plays or sporting events when they might not want to, why should sex be different, you should always try and please your spouse. There are times I dont want sex and times she dont want sex and most of the time, it all works out for both people.

Greg - level 1 -
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5 months ago

No , you shouldn't have sex if you're not into it yourself... Sex should always be a 2 way street and finding out someone had sex with you to "do you a favour" makes you feel like a piece of s***, doesn't it? I would recommend tho - expecially if someone isn't in the mood for a longer period of time - to communicate why you don't feel like it. To assure your partner that you are still attracted to them and it isn't their fault you are not up for it (unless ofcourse it is their fault). Being rejected for a longer period of time can be frustrating and can cause the rejectee to feel insecure about the relationship.

Maarten - 42yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Everyone is allowed their days of not wanting sex so it should never be pressured, sex is to be enjoyed by both people and if they aren't in the mood it wont be enjoyed.

Jess - 33yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

If u allow yourself to be open to the idea, by say a massage or some caressing or kissing your probably going to get turned on enough to want to have sex.

Heather - 38yo - level 7 -
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6 months ago

Yes

Carlos - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Yes of course who would not in there right mind! Only the best thing in this world! Of course only with my wife though!

Mathew waddell - 33yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

His wish is my command

Melinda - 36yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

You shouldn't feel like you have to ever but I don't have a problem with adjusting my mood for it. I know he would do the same for me as I probably ask for it more often.

Neecee - 43yo - level 14 -
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6 months ago

No. And especially not if the person has ever been traumatized sexually.

Carrie - 46yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

I said no because chemistry can affect a man and a woman since of orgasms

Alvin - 45yo - level 5 -
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6 months ago

That's very difficult to assess. But in theory, i think it's a good policy.
One caveat....you don't ever let on. Never let them think it's a mercy fuck. In my case the damage done in that instance would be difficult to correct.

Jeremy - 56yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Yes! Spark that flame!

Heather - 42yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Yes...you need to make the most of any & all the time you share together cuz you never always know how long you'll have left together!
Plus...once they start touching & teasing you the right way...they'll quickly change your mood around!

Allison - 35yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

Definitely a yes. Unless your sick or have some major ailment. If your just not In the mood, suck it up. You could be causing your partner self worth issues everytime your not in the mood.

Tyler - 35yo - level 1 -
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3 months ago

Couldn't agree more

Peter - 49yo - level 6 -
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6 months ago

Yes , because sometimes even if you feel you aren't in the mood you can always get into it.

Ashley geiger - 34yo - level 1 -
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3 months ago

I agree completely. And if you dont get into it theres probably something else wrong that should be addressed.

Peter - 49yo - level 6 -
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7 months ago

I agree with Amanda, sometimes our body and mind are not connected and a gentle kiss or touch may turn the tables. But my soon to be ex told me once it was my wifely duties to provide him sex in some form or fashion. i started to look at him as if it was a chore and I started to hate his touch. This was the beginning of the end.

Fee - 46yo - level 2 -
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3 months ago

I agree. Once your told it's your job than I wouldnt want to do it either. Shit I hate going to work. If your in love you want to have sex because all you want to do is please and be pleased by your partner. Love ladies and gentleman is the key here. I seriously believe people that have issues in the bedroom are not in love. There are always exceptions like health reasons of course.

Peter - 49yo - level 6 -
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7 months ago

It depends. But yes. It's a emotional connection. Why miss one minute of time with them

Carolann - 55yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Hell yeah!!

Brian - 48yo - level 19 -
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7 months ago

Absolutely

Kristin - 31yo - level 11 -
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7 months ago

No. That is selfish. Sex should be shared and pleasurable for both. I have held off several times because by gf was tired. 🤷‍♂️

Jordon - 52yo - level 33 -
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7 months ago

No it's best if all of us are ready and willing

nonhlelo - 37yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

My boyfriend is always in the mood he like sex all the time day and night

Michelle - 36yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

Yes, take care of them like you would want them to take care of you.

Matthew - 39yo - level 37 -
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7 months ago

I do he have time for it. All way work

Michelle - 36yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

Yes

Justin - 35yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

Yes, because she would for you. Most the time women aren't in the mood but, we want to please you. Try some four play.

Amber - 25yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

i think sometimes there's a difference between not wanting to have sex and not being in the mood for sex. I can't have sex for medical reasons right now. But i'm eager to pleasure my partner.

Marc - 34yo - level 21 -
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9 months ago

Yes I feel you should.

King - 37yo - level 30 -
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9 months ago

Two ways to go. Yes you should because you want to make your spouse (partner)happy if conditions are right. Spouse comes home smelling like a bar and an ashtray. No. Sex.
You see your spouse trying to look nice for you before bed you should give it some effort unless of course they are undwrstanding. You say long day too together you decide.
communication is the key

Melody - 59yo - level 22 -
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11 months ago

NO! That borders on nonconsensual n toxic. If you don't want to have sex, DON'T HAVE SEX. Other people have said it on here: you never OWE anyone sex.

Mari - level 20 -
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3 months ago

It's not toxic at all. It's part of a healthy relationship. If your not wanting sex or at least wanting to please your partner you should be asking yourself if your in love or not. Most assuredly your not in love.

Peter - 49yo - level 6 -
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11 months ago

Yes, make it fun though! Sexy lady or......sleeping & surprise! U are rolled over pretending ur sleeping so that works for u both! Don't get in a rut w that though, same as anything. Surprise day sex when ur not tired like night. Quickie in the bathroom or closet, whenever. My point w those are just mix it up in general so maybe they don't want it

Joy - 45yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

If you think you could get in the mood sure. BUT, sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you. So, in all reality no one should be disappointed if sex is denied. If saying no makes people mad... that's bad and MUST be addressed. No means no, even when married. If they still force upon you, that is still rape. If taken to court, it will be treated as rape.

Craig - 22yo - level 18 -
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1 year ago

Of course you should because once it starts it's hard to resist.

Leonardo - 44yo - level 6 -
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1 year ago

I agree, if there’s a lot of kissing and foreplay involved. That may give the other person time to get in the mood. But if it doesn’t, it’s stoll no. There’s always other ways to assist in your partners satisfaction. Oral sex is one. Assist in masterbation ( many times those things will get the other partner in the mood real quick)! Bu neither partner should be selfish!

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

No, if you don’t want, you don’t want. I mean it wouldn’t be nice for you if you wanted but he/she didn’t, right?

Luiza - 25yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

Yes. Maybe it will help my mood!

Stephanie - 52yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

That's a tough one. Especially if one partner has any kind of traumatic sexual history. If both partners can discuss it openly, and I mean openly and truthfully, then they may be able to reach a compromise. There are people that want to please their partner but may not be able to bring themselves to a higher libido if they have been exposed to sexual trauma. I personally believe it comes down to meeting the needs of both partners. I think we have to be ok at times saying that we do things for each other that we may not necessarily want to do, not because we're being forced but because we love and care for one another and realize that we're different people that need or want different things. I have found the perfect partner to actually experience this with. Any issues that have arisen, we've hashed it out sometimes through tears and hurt feelings, but we've always been able to compromise and recognize that respect and open communication go a long way into making anything manageable. I would 100 percent agree though, that one partner should never force the other to do anything they don't want to do. Even if someone has to say stop, it's not working today, we'll try tomorrow, without that it's sexual assault. THAT is never ok.

Steve - 37yo - level 45 -
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1 year ago

Ya know, Steve, I come from a very long history of horrible sexual trauma! I also had a bad track record with men and sex, as well. I’d have flash backs during sex! I’d feel unsafe and afraid! I’d feel used and God forbid it got just a tiny bit rough! I’d flip the fuck out!!! Even if I imagined certain desires in my mind, I couldn’t act them out in reality because it terrified me once it happened! But I’m telling you now that when you find “ your person “, those things start to fade! My husband treated me like a china doll, at first! He was so afraid to do or even tell me certain things! He didn’t want to hurt me or cause me emotional pain or more trauma. Which made me love him even more! But I found myself wanting even needing to explore a side of myself I’d not been able to before, because of all that trauma. ( which started at the age of 2 yrs old. I met my hubby at 37) . It took a while for him to trust it, but 10 yrs later, we’re doing things I would never have imagined were possible! Not just for me, but things I didn’t even know existed... lol Turns out, we are quite freaky! Point being, with the righ person, trauma or not, with your soulmate, all things are possible!! I love everything we do, especially when I take full control of the situation. That’s a wonderful option! And very fun. There’s always a way to support and assist a partner that’s neen through hell and back. It takes effort, imagination, support, and commitment. Just like in every other aspect of the relationship. This is just one of the chapters.

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

No, good sex is a two way street. If you aren’t into it, then your partner should respect that.

Kandy - 32yo - level 28 -
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1 year ago

Absolutely! Because if you dont, someone else will...

Courtney - 43yo - level 16 -
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