61 - 750 - 8 months ago

How do you deal with a spouse that's always going through your phone trying to find something on You?

Brittany - 29yo - level 4

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8 months ago

It would have ABSOLUTELY zero effect on me or my day because i never have nothing to hide, I'm not a cheat, nor do i.lie about anything because my concious would ruin my self worth.I don't cheat on a man that i entirely devote my heart and life to the man that i just absolutely adore and barely can stop thinking about., I never have NOR would i ever want to pretend or settle for nothing LESS just for the sake to be with someone... Any man involved in an intimate 'sopposed'relationship should never do anything at all to cause his girl enough doubt after failed attempts in giving the truth so she reluctantly profeeded to peek at his shit , just so she could have some peace of honesty her king should have already given her. PERIOD, If , he insists in talking to other women in sexual or seduction manners and professes his phone be oh so private, than that is a sure sign that the relationship will never flourish therefore the debate for moving on is only a short matter of time. When a woman doesn't feel equal to so much as a price of electronic.. aka, his ever precious and private phone... Then he has made the relationship fail. Any real woman always will and does walk away and won't ever look back again

Valorie Ann - 46yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

Wow that statement is kinda sexist if you ask me. I in alot of ways agree with and feel the same way about some of the things you wrote. My wife still goes through my phone regularly snooping and has never found anything that if I looked at her phone and found I would get upset about because I don't do anything that I would get upset about if I found out she was doing something similar. And today I realize that it is her self conscious about things she's done without me knowing that she has been hiding and we are working through it. And I today have never went through her phone fully inspecting it looking for clues of betrayal because I'm trustworthy and when you don't do things like that you don't think about it unlike when you do you stay concerned everyone does what you are doing. I rely on karma and know it's a bitch so I try to consecrate on keeping my side of the street clean because if I do bad things to people I can expect nothing less than bad things can and will happen to me. So I don't know if we're going to flourish or not we're still together now and it's been 9 years since I met her and I won't worry about it. Today is a gift to that is why it's called the present and I am going to focus on what I can do today to o help strengthen our relationship

Bart - 39yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

I don't have anything to hide my girl had full access to mine and I have full access to hers

Travis - 20yo - level 2 -
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8 months ago

If there is nothing going on, sit him down and ask a couple of questions
A. What am I doing that you feel the need to search my phone?
B. What am I doing that you don't trust me?
C. Has he been cheated on? What am I doing that you feel I'm not faithful?
These were the questions I had to ask myself IR: my current wife of 20++ years due to my exes infidelity.

Douglas - 55yo - level 32 -
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8 months ago

Personally, I dont like it, and I Express my dislike, but at the end of the day, I try to understand it and work towards her not feeling that she has to do that anymore...

TJ - 36yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Me too

Heng - level 8 -
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7 months ago

I make 3

Bart - 39yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Lock them out of it. I don’t have anything to hide but at the same time if you constantly have to go through my phone maybe you should re-evaluate your own priorities and come back when you figure it out.

Brittney - 23yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

I would approach my partner with understanding and ask directly, and what I can do to ease their anxiety. Mostly, just keep proving your partner wrong by having nothing to hide.

Stephanie - 39yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

Dump him.

Judith - 37yo - level 38 -
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6 days ago

It drives me insane, not because I'm hiding anything has always been able to look at my phone anytime but to go digging for something to cause a disagreement that's unfounded, it's like purposely destroying your relationship and any trust.

Jess - 33yo - level 1 -
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1 week ago

Ok I do this all the time its when he is always stuck in his phone and we don't ever so yeah when I get it I see what he been up too! I don't go looking for a reason to be mad! One time yeah I went through his personal email, which I found a couple of emailS to his ex telling her he would never be happy again!

Teri - 33yo - level 1 -
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2 weeks ago

I believe that low self esteem and control have much to do with all the things that spouses upload into your phone and hide in theirs.

Angela Campbell - 34yo - level 1 -
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1 month ago

If u have nothing to hide,then what's the big deal? I trust no one! If u want my trust? Jesus himself better be with ya knocking on my door! Trust is earned! Never assume anything if u want any relationship in ur life to work. Both people in any relationship have to be willing to give 100% everyday. There is way to many ways to get side tracked out there these days,and I'm not willing to give up a 29 yr relationship over some stupid shit my ol man decides to look up in private thinking I wont find out. If he wont let me look at his phone? Then he needs to find someone that will put up with shit like that. Because I wont!

Melissa - 44yo - level 43 -
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3 months ago

Well my boyfriend would always take his phone everywhere with him. To the bathroom, to the shower, to take out the trash, I mean how obvious is that? So, one day I had the opportunity to put an app on his phone to check what he does on his phone. Come to find out he was texting some girl and doing it right next to me , but swares up and down she is just a friend. Plus, he had the nerve to be mad at me for spying on him. He still takes his phone everywhere and makes sure I dont get ahold of it.

lynne - 57yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

Just give them your phone! My husband and I have each other's fingerprints set up on our phones and we share our passwords. There should be nothing to hide from your soulmate. If you feel nervous, introspect and try to find out whether this is the relationship you want to keep or there is someone else who can have your blind trust.

Tee - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Stay open. If you have nothing to hide it is probably not a big deal. It isn't you though. They have trust issues. Talk to them about it. They may have been cheated on in the past or someone has broken there trust. I would say have them go to therapy to talk about there trust issues.

Camillia - 26yo - level 3 -
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8 months ago

"In reply to Valorie Ann)This seems ridiculous. A man could give everything and all kinds of trust and the thing that would make a woman want to check his phone is a past experience that has shattered her full trust for any man. Let's say this man is texting his boss and she says "let me check your phone" I would roll my eyes and be annoyed because I'm in the middle of something important. Guess what, me not being 100% happy about her checking my phone at that exact moment would make her think I'm hiding something and from then on she would always be skeptical of what I do on my phone and would constantly want to check it. THIS IS ANNOYING because he did nothing to lose her trust and from then on, every time she asks for his phone he will be reminded that she lost her trust for him because SHE asked for his phone at a sensitive/non-oppertune time. This is really why we get annoyed and leads to many complications in relationships

Nico - 22yo - level 41 -
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8 months ago

With a firm boundaries conversation, then divorce papers if it continues. Seriously. This speaks to do many dysfunctions, all at once.

Jeff - 38yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

We don't have that type of relationship. We have more teust than that

Philip - 50yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Ask them why, ask then what they want to know. While there shouldn't be anything to hide, it isn't his right to go through your personal things. If he won't tell you why, or continues if you ask him not to, it is a sign of emotional abuse. Be careful.

Ruby - 14yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

Leave. If he doesn’t trust me then we don’t stand a chance.

Melissa - 28yo - level 21 -
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8 months ago

Don't.

Tracia - 43yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

I would suggest trying to understand why they are feeling so insecure and anxious. Is it something you are doing? Something external? Or something they are going through themselves. Try to sit them down and have an honest conversation about where the mistrust is coming from. Also, I know it's hard to let them go through your phone even if there is nothing on there, purely due to principle but let them go through it and then sit them down and talk about how it hurts you and your relationship and why they are willing to do that

Shefali - 24yo - level 4 -
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8 months ago

I have nothing to hide but it would bother me. Trust is the issue and you'll have to deal with it at some point.

Cindy - 54yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

Enter at own risk

Jr - 27yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

Not worried about it, I have nothing to hide.

Ginger - 41yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Usually if a person is doing that they don’t trust you. If they don’t trust you they may be hidding something themselves or dealing with trust issues from the past. Communication is key.

Jade - 22yo - level 4 -
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8 months ago

Nothing. Keep searching. Let me know when u find something.......I'll wait

Michael - 33yo - level 31 -
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8 months ago

Doesn't bother me

Desiree - 34yo - level 12 -
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8 months ago

It wouldn't bother me because I have nothing to hide. I would just bring up the lack of trust.

Paula - 32yo - level 27 -
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8 months ago

Well obviously seems like it's trust issues and I will just have a discussion about it. I will ask why is this occuring and what actions I'm pursuing not to be trusted. Communication is the key and try to work on it. But if I'm not doing anything wrong, then the spouse have insured issues with them self.

Chantel - 42yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

My question would be to you why are they trying to find something on you and why are you will this person? What is getting in the way of having open communication so that sneaking for info seems to be the solution?

Erin - 32yo - level 45 -
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8 months ago

It’s so bothersome it happens almost everyday. Theres not to find but he is constantly in my phone. He even had our son hook the iPad up to my phone so he could manage my stuff. It’s embarrassing.

Cilla - 31yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Let them know how you feel about it. Listen to how they feel. Come to a conclusion that appeases both of you.

Edward - 26yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

You shouldn’t have anything to hide. Why do you care so much about the fact that your significant other cares about you and your company enough to worry themselves about losing you?

Tyler - 21yo - level 32 -
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8 months ago

I'd let her. If she finds something...she should not have been in there...it's not hers.

Jay - 31yo - level 10 -
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8 months ago

It doesn’t bother me at all.

Jessica - 30yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

Get rid

Matt - 36yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Break up. If I haven't given you a reason not to trust me and you are continuously invading my property something is wrong and if it is not adressed in a timely manner I will leave because it isn't good for either of us. My signifagant other has a fingerprint for my phone bc I trust him, but he does not abuse that trust by digging through my personal data.

Corbin - 17yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

From previous experience id leave the person as it would only get worse and accusations start being thrown and there's no trust,and a realationship with no trust is no point

Semira - 42yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Don't do it. Rather, take steps to build trust.

Mike - 37yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

There is obviously something causing them to do it. I think you should calmly ask them why they are doing what they are doing and let them know how it makes you feel.
Communicate freely, and hopefully they will open up.
If not then that is another question. Good luck

Peter - 60yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Go ahead of it helps them feel secure...I got nothing to hide

Rachel - 35yo - level 1 -
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8 months ago

Have 2 phones

Ian - 56yo - level 2 -
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8 months ago

I wouldn't be married to someone who would do this. Bye! Next!

Jo - 32yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Leave with no trust there is no relationship

Brittany - 28yo - level 1 -
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8 months ago

First of I'm married to her. Let her know you know and seek to understand what it is she is looking for. Be an open book to assure her that her fears are unfounded. If I'm in a non married one, I would end the relationship. I was married to a gal who always went thru my stuff to find dirt on me and never found it but did it anyway.

Mark - 60yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Bye! If there’s no trust then there’s no reason to be together. Same as if I was snooping through this. Then I need to leave if I can’t trust him.

Amanda - 30yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

I do not deal at all. If there is no trust at all then there is no relationship.

anonymous - 35yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

Usally if you go looking for things you find them

Wayne - 25yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

That would be a deal breaker for me. It’s an invasion of my privacy as well as my friends and family who may be trusting me with something that isn’t for his eyes. It’s disrespect and that’s not something I’d compromise on in any relationship.

Diane - 35yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Talk with them and try to understand their reasoning behind then set boundaries

Chris Noel - level 5 -
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8 months ago

My partner never does that, thankfully!

Love - 30yo - level 35 -
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8 months ago

Why thankfully they dont do that? Are you hiding something?

Wayne - 25yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

Establish boundaries and discuss the issue at hand. If they refuse to listen to you and work through the matter, is it worth being in a relationship with someone whom always trying to find a problem with being in a relationship with you? Seems like they have trust issues and if they refuse to meet you half way, there's not much you can do besides to leave them

Solina - 24yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

Talk to them about what is bothering you

anonymous - 26yo - level 1 -
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8 months ago

You leave them. Plain and simple. It will NEVER change

Liberty - 19yo - level 18 -
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8 months ago

Trust issue that needs to be resolved. No trust = no relationship. No reason they shouldnt be just talking to you about the insecurities they have.

Felicia - 24yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

That's a serious trust issue that needs to be resolved for your health, and your relationship. If they're going through your phone, they dont trust you.

Seek therapy or consider the standing of your partnership.

Captain - 19yo - level 29 -
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8 months ago

Talk it out. Be honest.

Lauryn - 32yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

I think that is a serious problem. Unless, you have given them a reason to be going through your phone. Otherwise it is a serious trust issues and they have problems. But if you have done something in your past to make them want to check your phone then it's something that you will have to work through, and it is kind of understandable. And I think the spouse needs to Change whatever they are doing to give you the reason to be checking the phone.

Mark - 51yo - level 37 -
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8 months ago

That's some major trust issues. Therapy.

Sali - 36yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Did you do something before to test their trust? If so, it is understandable that they would be searching. If not, you need to talk about the insecurities your partner might have.

Amanda - 30yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Just don't have anything on your phone that's questionable

Jeff - level 18 -
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