21 - 729 - 11 months ago

My partner and I have different religious views. He's Christian, I'm agnostic, meaning I don't know what's up there and it doesn't really matter to me. I'm willing to go to church have our future kids pray before meals, all that, but...

Sierra - 22yo - level 20

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11 months ago

I was in a similar situation with my gf a while ago. When we just started dating and were still trying to figure out how to deal with our differences. Initially, It was frustrating to not be to align with my partner on such an important subject, and back then we were too young to handle such touchy topic with the much-needed sensitivity and patience. So, we had arguments about it, heated conversations about how we will raise our future kids differently. But we knew that we love each other enough to reach a compromise on everything, including the subject of faith. Fortunately, we were able to reach a middle ground between agnostic and religious, that is we accept that there are some truths in religion. I don't think there is an easy answer for your question, and it took us many many lengthy talks to properly get over the topic. And I think ultimately, it's down to how much we are willing to accept for our love.

Woody - level 1 -
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11 months ago

It's nice that you are open to hin sharing his faith with your children. I think it will be important that you both talk to find out of he will be equally comfortable with you openly sharing your agnostic perspective.

Lisa - 42yo - level 13 -
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11 months ago

This. You need to both be able to share your perspectives with the kids and let them decide on their own

Michael - 25yo - level 34 -
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11 months ago

I think it's okay to share different views than your partner, as long as it does not create serious friction in your relationship. I've seen many couples who share different beliefs who are able to still respect one another and work together in harmony. It sounds as if you are willing to make some compromises for your partner, but is he willing to make any for you?

Megan - 27yo - level 7 -
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11 months ago

Sometimes we just need to allow someone to enjoy life’s moments with us and not force our opinions. As long as you are participating together and he is not forcing it or his opinions on it then that is the sign of something working.

Ace - 39yo - level 3 -
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11 months ago

I face a similar situation with my partner. How we go about solving it is to discuss in advance what are the possible scenario or situations that may happen in the future so that we are at least mentally prepared for it before it happens.

Henry Kong - 30yo - level 46 -
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11 months ago

If you're open to his religion, he should be open to your views.

David - 39yo - level 40 -
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11 months ago

Have different views just means we can share amongst eachother and don't have anything negative against eachother. Things can still workout even with different beliefs

Win - level 26 -
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11 months ago

But nothing you already said it works for you...

Jeremy - 19yo - level 12 -
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11 months ago

Personally I think there are some issues that will make a relationship not work, even if you love each other very much. (For example whether or not you want kids) the people may think they are fine with it and will work it out in the future, but in my experience it just causes bigger problems down the road. As someone who grew up in a home with parents having different religious beliefs (and they were even both Christian just different "branches") it was really hard on me. I can imagine they said they were "fine with it" when they got married....but that did not seem to be the actual case. I just think some values have to be shared for a relationship to work long term. If he's Christian you may come to resent the time he spends doing things for God/the church if you don't share that same value, and your kids will always see you don't agree on the issue, even if you think you're hiding it well.

Breanna - 28yo - level 9 -
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11 months ago

Clearly, it does matter to you, so you should talk to him about it. If he doesnt listen or accept what you have to say you have bigger problems.

Carrie - 20yo - level 45 -
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11 months ago

Does that sound like you? I seem to talk about God way more than you do, and I'm wondering if you are agnostic but just don't want to tell me your true views.

Terri - level 14 -
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11 months ago

I don't think it'll be a problem as long as you respect each other's views. However, if it is rising up arguments, I think it's better to consider before it's too late.

Ushi - 27yo - level 10 -
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11 months ago

That's wonderful you're willing to go to church with him. From a fellow Christian, I hope and pray your views change. If not, I still think it's wonderful you will allow your children to go and decide on their own. The relationship between you and your boyfriend can work if you both want it to. As long as the both of you are open and understanding.

Tracy - 43yo - level 24 -
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11 months ago

It’s a conversation that is difficult, we’ve had a similar discussion but it’s slightly different because I don’t believe in the same god as she does. And some days I choose to believe there is nothing there at all, what we decided was that when we have kids we would each explain our beliefs and our thoughts about god, or gods, and then let the children decide on what they do or do not believe, everybody is entitled to their own religious opinion.

Brendan - 26yo - level 26 -
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11 months ago

I think believing in different things is okay as long as you can discuss it in a respectful way. I’m Christian and my bf is only culturally Jewish. I think that’s great you’re willing to raise your kids in a church that you don’t really get behind. I say let them go if it’s really important to your partner, but have a caveat that you won’t lie about your beliefs to your kids either. That way they can decide for themselves and have a more rounded view.

Gina - 34yo - level 3 -
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11 months ago

All that matters to me is humanity and love.. If you travel through the path of love religious differences won't matter at all.. If you don't want to incorporate religion into the lives of your kids just incorporate love, values and positivity into their lives.. Teach them to be good at heart.. That is the base of most religious teachings too.. Wish you a very happy future life

Appu - 25yo - level 20 -
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11 months ago

You can let the kids to choose if they want to believe and pray or not. Your beliefs are same respectful as being religious, they can decide when they're old enough.

Alicia - 23yo - level 37 -
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11 months ago

You shouldn’t have gotten married if you’re not both Christians. if you’re from different religions it will eventually tear you apart

Crystal - 41yo - level 15 -
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11 months ago

But what?

Georgina - 24yo - level 40 -
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11 months ago

Being open to others views is important and to raise Kids to believe in a higher power is excellent no matter what the higher power is

Leslie - 34yo - level 11 -
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11 months ago

?? No buts you have stated what you are willing to do. As long as he agrees with it everything is golden

joseph - 36yo - level 13 -
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