40 - 476 - 7 months ago

What do you do when you find the love of your life but you always seem to struggle with communication because you’re two complete opposites

Jen - 43yo - level 30

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7 months ago

Go to counseling. And honestly, really think if this is worth the struggle. “Opposites attract” sounds nice in theory, but from my experience, it rarely works out and the lack of communication can add even more of a strain.

Rebecca - 31yo - level 8 -
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7 months ago

I believe that if it’s early on in the relationship and it’s a struggle to communicate, you should cut your losses and get out.
This may seem harsh, unfortunately I have experienced this on 2 occasions and it never got better or even stayed the same. It progressively degraded my feelings for the individual and turned into resentment and loss of love.
I am sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but that was my experience.
Good luck to you.

anonymous - 53yo - level 3 -
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7 months ago

Give yourself time to figure it out, if you can’t communicate well I suggest moving on, it’s too important to ignore.

Julia - 49yo - level 38 -
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7 months ago

I am in the exact same position and we go to couple counselling. I over communicate but at least communicate. He doesn't at all. It seemed impossible to me but our counsellor does help. I do suggest 1 session for yourself, 1 for him and then 1 together. If we didn't, I'd go crazy and it's hard as my heart doesn't say go ( I have a strong gut instinct which I listen to) but if nothing changes, the cycle will continue and I will go as love isn't enough for me if you don't grow together. One thing I was told is clearly articulate what you think he is doing and why that isn't what you are asking for (need) and vice versa. If counselling isn't your thing, do please try one session as they will offer a different perspective and advice that what we see and if he's the one you will try anything.

Jasmine - 37yo - level 47 -
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2 months ago

Maybe you're not so opposite just need to find common ground to start the communication use how opposite you are as a opener

Norm - 42yo - in a relationship for 11 years - Married - Defiance Ohio, United States - level 44 -
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7 months ago

Think of the deep ways that you’re similar. Think of your shared values. Do both of you believe in kindness? In respect? Think of those things. Maybe you’re more alike than the heat of the moment let’s ya remember.

Raza - 23yo - level 21 -
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7 months ago

Continue to keep going especially if the other isn’t willing to give up just like you give 100% with a goal you give it with the person who hold your heart as well it’ll all make sense later🤞🏾

Ja’keyia - 25yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

It depends on wether you two want a long happy future together. You either work on it, compromise, make changes and communicate or you let go and let God, at least one of you should be happy if not both

Heidi - 35yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Ask each other some first date questions or look up open ended question for conversation. Often times these lead to more conversation because you get to talking about ideas, experiences and history you may not already know about each other. Spring the questions on each other at dinner or during a walk. More importantly tell him why you're taking this approach. You want to communicate more and you'd appreciate it if he'd be more open. Ask him if there's something you can likewise do for him.

Emilio - 37yo - level 15 -
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7 months ago

Force yourself to be honest and caring enough to share the relationship only gets better with communication. If more explanation needs to happen then do it if the person is worth it.

Noland - 38yo - level 32 -
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7 months ago

I would go to a counsellor to help you both work out the best means of communication together. There is no shame in getting a mediator to help you understand each other. I think it shows your commitment to the relationship

Ash - 26yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

Work on understanding how you communicate with one another

Kate - 33yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

Learn to communicate better.

Michael - 43yo - level 31 -
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7 months ago

We are still trying to figure it out...

Kristina - 42yo - level 7 -
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7 months ago

Leave.

Curve Ball - 36yo - level 18 -
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7 months ago

You just work thru it because things always get better. Love gets you alot of places. Try to do things ur partner likes doing and tell him or her to do the same. Yall may get along more

Abbagail - 18yo - level 2 -
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7 months ago

Try and communicate with each other

Blair - 54yo - level 33 -
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7 months ago

Work to understand my wife. Happy wife happy life.

Keith ferguson - 59yo - level 20 -
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7 months ago

At barely 19 years old, I married my opposite. He taught me to communicate and I will forever be appreciative. Opposites attract but it takes very rare people who are both willing to meet in the middle always to make it last forever.

Robyn - 47yo - level 48 -
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7 months ago

I’m honestly not quite sure how you can refer to someone as they love of your life and yet describe them as being the exact opposite of you to the point that communication suffers.

How long have you known each other? Many people seem to confuse attraction with love. The reality is that that just because someone treats you really well and/or is attractive to you, it doesn’t mean you are romantically compatible.

Woof - 26yo - - level 45 -
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7 months ago

I’m in the same boat. We communicate different and it’s creating a strain in our relationship that we haven’t had before. I just say tell him how you feel and think about how much you’re willing to take. Communication is key in a relationship and without it things go left.

Janae - 25yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

Compromise. My bf and I have different love languages and communication styles. We have learned to adjust both what we give and what we want to find a happy medium.

anonymous - 32yo - level 15 -
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7 months ago

You love that person with all of your heart and always be there no matter the disagreement and work together to find a solution that best suits you both

Jennifer - 29yo - level 1 -
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7 months ago

Let them know

Steve - 59yo - level 16 -
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7 months ago

I've been with mine for 18 years. We're complete opposites as well. I found we communicated much better when we were younger. Now we're struggle with communications as well & argue more than ever, but we also know we don't want to live without the other, so we're working harder. I know it's not much help, but I hope. Sending you good vibes!

Stephanie - 39yo - level 14 -
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7 months ago

We find away to talk and just listen even if we don't like it

Erica - 25yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

If both parties are feeling equally hopeful of a relationship working out, each individual would need to work on developing new communication styles/techniques and both try to understand where the breakdowns occur and why - and go from there!

Debra - 37yo - level 3 -
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7 months ago

First try and think why do you struggle, then take a decision do you want to change for the relationship to work? Usually the answer would be no, a true relationship doesn't change you but sometimes maybe you're just in a dark place and that someone is your answer of getting out of there

Andrei - 24yo - level 26 -
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7 months ago

It's a real struggle for myself actually but I find what really helps is to ask questions about his interests and plan fun stuff to do together around them so you have more to talk about.

Kate - 25yo - level 18 -
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7 months ago

Are use the two in the stink one in the pink

Ron - 50yo - level 16 -
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7 months ago

I think if you’re complete opposites you probably just aren’t that compatible. The love of your life should be someone who it is easy to communicate with. Like another user said, while the “opposites attract” thing might seem exciting in a relationship, it doesn’t make for a stable marriage/ long term commitment.

Alanna - 19yo - level 5 -
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7 months ago

Hate to say it but research indicates that the strongest relationships are between those people that share similar personalities, principles, goals and interests. The whole opposite attracts thing is just that, an attraction, not a genuine foundation for a relationship. That's science though; if it means very little to you then do as you want and hope for the best. I would only caution that you

Steve - 37yo - level 45 -
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7 months ago

I would say try listening and learning your partner more so that you can find a way to communicate better with them. If you learn the likes and dislikes of a person, you can meet them on their level. Good Luck!

Intrigue - 44yo - level 31 -
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7 months ago

I would go to couples counseling if I were you. Tell the counselor your goal is to communicate better.

Sara - level 20 -
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7 months ago

Write u down or text it

Rachel - 32yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

We often think that only people with similar views and personalities are good together. But I've come to realise that sometimes relationships are strongest when the partners are different but complementing. It's like two jigsaw puzzle pieces, the reason why they stick together perfectly to become one is that they are two complete opposites. Find something that bridges your differences could be a good place to start.

Woody - level 1 -
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7 months ago

If the person really is the love of your life you should already have a lot in common with them. When they say opposites attract, it shouldn't be polar opposites. Make sure you have a lot in common to avoid future issues down the line

Tawanda - 29yo - level 10 -
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7 months ago

You find something in common and you start with that.

Brian - 34yo - level 43 -
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7 months ago

I find it hard to believe you ‘found the love of your life’ and can’t communicate with them. Take of the rose colored glasses and seriously reevaluate.

Kailey - 22yo - level 43 -
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