53 - 776 - 1 year ago

Is it wrong to send and receive texts or entertain calls after 10pm from friends of the opposite sex? I understand that when you’re married or living together this may not be appropriate but how about when you are in the early stages?

anonymous - 41yo - level 20

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1 year ago

This is what it boils down to: if it’s anything you’re not comfortable with your partner seeing, you shouldn’t t be doing it.

Carl - 34yo - level 48 -
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1 year ago

I think that if you were really into the person you're dating, you wouldn't have to ask this question.

Lianne - 27yo - level 34 -
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1 year ago

Been married 25+ yrs and I can tell you that if either if us were threatened by the other having close friends of the opposite sex, we wouldn’t have made it this far. I mean, for myself, I actually like her having close friends of the opposite sex because it gives her a different perspective on things than what she would get from her girl friends.

Michael - 44yo - level 34 -
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1 year ago

Yes it is wrong. It could lead to other things.

Sheree - 36yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Why on Earth would that be inappropriate? If you aren't banging them, then there's no need to worry.

Ashley - 26yo - level 17 -
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1 year ago

Why would it ever not be appropriate? In my opinion it's sexism if a partner doesn't allow or appreciate friendships of her or his partner with the opposite sex

Ronja - 31yo - level 45 -
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1 year ago

In my opinion, whether I am talking, dating, or married, I only am talking to that one person after respective hours. The part about having friends or speaking to members of the opposite sex should never be an issue - trust is important for any relationship, but if they're a friend, unless it's a dire issue, they should be able to respect you and your partner by speaking to you during the day. If you don't want them seeing what you're doing, don't do it. If you wouldn't want your partner to "entertain" the opposite sex after a certain time, don't do it. Most importantly, if you were really interested in this person and/or saw a future with them, you wouldn't be asking this question. There is no man I will talk to apart from my partner after respective hours because I love and respect him. Think about it before you hurt them.

Lauren - 19yo - level 13 -
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12 months ago

Well said.

Tara - 36yo - level 36 -
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1 year ago

Absolutely fine as long as there has never been any sexual experience before.

Annika - 25yo - level 13 -
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1 year ago

If your with someone why do you need to talk to other people why not try making what you got stay what you got if you know what i mean

Matt - 30yo - level 22 -
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1 year ago

Yes, it is wrong and unhealthy.

Aleksander - 25yo - level 21 -
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1 year ago

Heteronormativity strikes again 😥 this sounds like a trust issue more than anything. Your partner placing restrictions on who you can talk to and when is a huge red flag, and so is feeling a need to do so!

Lucy - 22yo - level 36 -
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1 year ago

Yes

Richard - 55yo - level 30 -
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1 year ago

No. Time of Day has no effect on receiving TXT or messages.

Badi - 38yo - level 7 -
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1 year ago

Yes

Tracy - 29yo - level 24 -
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1 year ago

If you have to ask, then always yes. It's bad. Decide what you want.

Amber - 36yo - level 54 -
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1 year ago

Definitely not, unless it's an emergency. Look at it in your partner's eyes - would you be happy if they were doing the same thing? Look at it objectively without making excuses. The beginning of a relationship shows what the future will be like. Don't think it's ok just because it's early on. It's never ok. If you still have doubts ask your partner their feelings about it. Communication is so important.

Rachel - 42yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

Davey this is conscience speaking "grow pair"

Jon - 20yo - level 21 -
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1 year ago

Yes if you ate honest with partner and dont have to hide it.

Tyler - 30yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

If the text wasn’t inappropriate at 9pm, the same text won’t be inappropriate aftwr 10pm. Time doesn’t matter, content does.

If you’re trying to control when your partner gets texts, that’s not healthy and you need to take a step back and check yourself. Insecurity isn’t attractive, nor is a controlling attitude.

Early stages or married, it doesn’t matter. If you’re with someone, you’re with them and shouldn’t be sexting other people. How juvenile. You’re 41??? Come on, dude.

Kailey - 22yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

If you are not doing anything wrong, you don't need to worry. And if your partner asks abiyt it, you can just tell the truth.

anonymous - 26yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

No you shouldn't. If you have to hide something, it shouldn't be happening

Alexus - 21yo - level 12 -
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1 year ago

Yes, but then again I struggle being a little jealous as it is.

Jeremy - 42yo - level 42 -
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1 year ago

You should work on that.

Kailey - 22yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

Looks like people missed the actual question. You didn't ask if it was ok to have friend of the opposite sex and you didn't ask if it's ok to comminucate with them....you asked about WHEN it's ok to communicate with them and in my option after 10pm is a bit much unless that person is truly a friend and your partner is aware of him/her. If it's someone that's into you or that you're into....sounds a bit taboo dont cha think? Early stages or not. And that's really talking to them at any time for that matter.....I also have a rule that unless the guy is a good friend that my partner knows about and may actually need something I typically dont answer a call while we're out together or spending time together at home ie watching a movie or something but if I'm just chillin out and bae doesnt have my attention then fine. It's a respect thing in the end. Respect your partner and yalls time and your relationship

Brianna - 28yo - level 4 -
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1 year ago

My philosophy is what ever one can do the other can do as well. If you are fine with your partner doing it and you have an understanding then do it!

Tamara - 44yo - level 5 -
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1 year ago

No its completely fine to answer texts from your friends of the opposite sex reguardless of if you're married or not. This has to do with trust in your partner

Jamie - 20yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

Never okay

anonymous - 53yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

Why? Why does time dictate when a text is inappropriate? you can’t control when other people text you.

It’s the content of the texts that matter.

Kailey - 22yo - level 43 -
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1 year ago

Do you boo boo

Jeremy - 29yo - level 24 -
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1 year ago

Would you feel uncomfortable with your SO recieving text from a friend of the opposite sex after 10? If you say yes, then you should tell said friend to stop.

Amanda - 30yo - level 22 -
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1 year ago

If i dont pick call aftr 10 pm... i expct her also not to pick calls from so called frnds

Anderson - 27yo - level 27 -
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1 year ago

100% wrong and will always bring drama to your relationship..

Brian - 47yo - level 23 -
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1 year ago

How is that wrong?

Kailey - 22yo - level 43 -
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3 months ago

Drama

Jared williams - 38yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

It depends on the intentions of you and that friend..and your intentions for your new relationship. If you aren't planning to be serous or exclusive who cares. If you are then that's another ball game. If your flirting and hiding it..it's wrong.

Kat - level 17 -
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3 months ago

Exactly

Jared williams - 38yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

It swords on the intentions of you and that friend..and your intentions for your brew relationship. If you sent planning to be serous or exclusive who cares. If you are then that's another ball game. If your flirting and hiding it..it's wrong.

Kat - level 17 -
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1 year ago

As long as you are just friends no

Darynn - 26yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

My rule has always been if you wouldn't want her to do it then you shouldn't either

Bart - 39yo - level 15 -
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1 year ago

I think relationships should implement a time frame of when the calls/texts are ignored. Unless it's an emergency (most people with emergencies call back multiple times or text the reason) or if it's work related (some jobs require on call, etc). Spending a little tech free time with your SO is important.

Crystal - 35yo - level 7 -
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1 year ago

Not good, it messes you up later when you become more serious, keep it honest and good

Rose - 18yo - level 17 -
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1 year ago

Depends on the marriage/relationship.

Amber - 30yo - level 3 -
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1 year ago

If you think it is inappropriate when you are married, do you really want to do things early on that would not be ok later? Don’t you think you are just setting up problems for your future life together? Also, why do you think people usually talk to people right before they go to bed? I know that my boyfriend is the last person I want to talk to, and I would be upset if I found out that he made a habit of talking to another girl right before he went to bed instead of talking to me. If the last person you want to talk to at night is not your significant other, chances are you have more than friendly feelings toward this “friend” of the opposite sex that you want to talk to. Be honest with yourself and your significant other. In short, not appropriate and definitely not considerate of your significant other’s feelings. Obviously, emergencies are an exception to the rule, but them calling you to tell you that they finally left their significant other or that they are having problems with them (in hopes of hinting that the two of you might be a better match) doesn’t count as an emergency.

Laci - 33yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

Theres nothing inherently wrong about texts or calls from someone of the opposite sex. It becomes wrong if you have to hide the phone, or delete messages or call logs. Also, if your partner has an issue with it, you need to respect their input....if you are referring to a person that may be more than a friend, and you are in a relationship, then yes it is wrong.

anonymous - 20yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

Not at all. Its inappropriate and disrespectful.

Kimberly - 42yo - level 4 -
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1 year ago

Yes. It is wrong.

anonymous - level 6 -
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1 year ago

No

anonymous - level 4 -
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1 year ago

Yes.

Amanda - level 40 -
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1 year ago

It really depends on the situation. The trust you have with your partner.

Kewu - 31yo - level 23 -
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1 year ago

I don't have friends from the opposite sex so does she, so skip that question lol

abdullah - 19yo - level 12 -
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1 year ago

Yed

Ray - 58yo - level 27 -
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1 year ago

Are you serious? Friends are friends.

Filippo - 22yo - level 3 -
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1 year ago

I don't think the time of day should makeessaging more or less apporiate.

Sadie Miller - 23yo - level 34 -
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1 year ago

It depends on the situation. By entertaining calls or texts are you saying that the conversations you're having with these people are conversations that are inappropriate? If so, then that is not acceptable no matter the duration of the relationship. Think of it in terms of your partner's perspective, if your partner was having these so called conversations, would you feel cheated on or betrayed? If yes, then you shouldn't have those conversations to begin with and should tell your partner so you both can decide what the next course of action to take. However, if the conversation is to just catch up on friends and see how life is going, then they are okay.

Solina - 24yo - level 25 -
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1 year ago

Absolutely... Not

Eli - 44yo - level 33 -
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1 year ago

No. I would say it depends on the situation, but then I remembered that I experienced that in a past relationship. And despite being friends, boundaries have to be set. My ex would take calls from his female best friend when we were spending time together or on dates and Woild talk to her for hours.

He did this with other females too. I accepted it, because he was helpful in his community but it eventually became problematic and made me feel unimportant. We only dated for 8 months and this occurred earlier on and throughout our relationship.

Kellyanne - 25yo - level 12 -
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1 year ago

No not appropriate because how would I feel if she was doing that. Not well so I wouldn't do it

Matthew - 34yo - level 15 -
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1 year ago

Nah, no time for other guys when I am attached. I'm not good at multitasking

Lynn - level 1 -
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