30 - 476 - 8 months ago

What do you do when your feelings are really hurt but you overreacted to the situation and he apologized but you still feel hurt and you feel your walls coming back up?

Kaydian - 35yo - level 30

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8 months ago

Try to take a step back, calm down and meditate. Take a few days to think on it and cool down and then see how I feel. If I’m still bothered, then bring it up calmly and discuss how I feel and what I want to do.

Lindsey - 23yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Admit you overreacted but make it clear that your feelings were, and still are, really hurt. Talk it out so that both of you feel comfortable enough to move on.

Paulette - 32yo - level 1 -
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8 months ago

Apologize for your reaction. Explain that the reaction is because of a repeated breach of a boundary. Identify if there is a way to avoid this trigger in the future. If yes, great. If no, decide whether you can take action to remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation (for example, if he slurps his soup and there is ABSOLUTELY no way for him to compromise, decide whether you're willing to leave the room whenever he eats soup or if his slurping is a deal breaker). From there make a concerted effort together to move the conversation/day forward rather than sulking on the subject.

Another tactic is to understand that your reaction in the moment is going to be reactionary, suck it up and remove yourself immediately. Take frantic, unadulterated notes in an app like Google Keep and have a more structured talk later on. Make sure to review your notes - fact check yourself - to make sure your feelings are still as intense and that your boundary is clear.

This way you will feel there is a conclusion/resolution and your resentment won't feel the need to come up. When they inch towards the boundary calmly and gently remind them where they're going.

Monica - 31yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Communication is the key if you don't tell him your upset you will let it affect areas of the relationship. Nip it in the bud so you two can move forward. It will create a stronger bond the more you solve issues quicker. It's crazy but I swear it works for us.

Valerie Ann - 42yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Breathe, step away for a few moments and evaluate what you need. If your still hurt talk to him about it

Coreyann - 24yo - level 23 -
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8 months ago

Sounds like pass trauma. Therapy is recommended. Unless you see a pattern of something similar in your partner. Your emotions are vaild, it should be ok to talk with your partner about it.

ELIZABETH - 38yo - level 12 -
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8 months ago

You gotta either choose to or not keep loving him.

Marc - 20yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

Try to key in on why I am bothered so much about it. (Probably something to do with the past that needs to be forgotten) also apologize for overreacting and Express any pain.

anonymous - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Tell him that

princess - 35yo - level 37 -
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8 months ago

Take time, analyzing the real reason why you’re still upset and weighing out if it’s still worth being upset. If it’s not admit you were wrong for letting it get to that level because The hardest emotion to get over is anger. The more bricks you put up on a wall the harder it is that your partner will be able to knock it down.

Christina - 32yo - level 31 -
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8 months ago

I again try to confront mybpartner about the situation and why it happened

Skye - 19yo - level 33 -
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8 months ago

I again bring up the argument and again try to express myself n see what he thinks of the situation

Kamayani - 33yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Take some time time to yourself and calm down then once calm try to talk to him about why it upset you so badly

Tasha - 34yo - level 29 -
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8 months ago

If you overreacted to the situation it is now your time to apologize to him. Even if the situation with something initially to be his fault if he apologized and you honestly forgave him but now you feel like you overreacted in an effort to calm your own self you must know clear your conscience and apologize to him.even if that is explaining that you both are still growing.

Tyrone - 28yo - level 47 -
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8 months ago

Take some time to process your feelings and try and let it go. Take a walk, clear your mind, do some dishes, and then revisit your feelings. Then you can better express yourself to your partner.

Mark - 48yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

You have to reprocess and look for the things you love about the person and focus on those

Del - 36yo - level 38 -
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8 months ago

I explain what the trigger triggered so we can work through it together

Siouxzie - 45yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

I explain what the trigger triggered

Siouxzie - 45yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Talk to him about be open and tell him what you feel thats the only way you and him can work it out

Jarrett - 25yo - level 10 -
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8 months ago

Take responsability for your part and communicate the hurt behind the reaction

Monty - 38yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

Try to reflect and give yourself some time and him some time too. Once you’ve really seen the bigger picture you should always be open and honest about your feelings. Your mate should never turn you away or discount you If they do then there’s bigger issues there

Jen - 43yo - level 30 -
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8 months ago

Take some time to yourself do something you like doing go to a movie, spa or hang with your friends but do not talk to them about your relationship just hang to have fun after you enjoy your space think about how petty the issue was and how you overreacted then go apologize and let it go don't waste time and energy over things that's not worth it

Tanya - 36yo - level 24 -
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8 months ago

Be completely honest about how you feel with him and encourage him to do the same. Make sure to do so with an open mind, and understand that when you discuss things like this that the purpose is overcoming what is tearing you guys apart instead of ignoring it and pushing each other away. Make a mindful choice to be aware of what is causing the issue and trying to be different in the future.

Noel - level 8 -
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8 months ago

I decide to work on myself as no one can help or fix me. I have always been the one to worry about me and feel Kirk does not get the intensity of my feelings or my insecurity. I know me and always set myself for failure as to safeguard my heart.

Sheila - 50yo - level 10 -
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8 months ago

Tell him how I feel and take my time

Chhavu - 19yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Have patience, apologize for the difficulty you're facing, and ask for love.

anonymous - 31yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

I do this all the time.
find something we can do together to have a good time and makes us laugh is what i do it will make me forget what he did.

Chrystie - 27yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

I do this all the time.
find something we can do together to have a good time and makes us laugh is what i do it will make me forget wth he did.

Chrystie - 27yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

I do this shit all the time.
find something we can do together to have a good time and makes us laugh is what i do it will make me forget wth he did.

Chrystie - 27yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

I would talk about it with him. Once the walls go up it is hard for me to get them down. I can be stubborn too but it is something I have been working on. Take a step back and reverse the situation. What would he do in your situation? What would you do in his? If you know you overreacted apologizing for that could help and then explain to him why your feelings are still hurt.

Jill - 36yo - level 14 -
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