45 - 719 - 1 year ago

My partner loves to hear my fantasies.
She refuses to tell hers and claims that she doesn't fantasize.
Do some people really not have fantasies?
How do I get her to open up?

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26

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1 year ago

Sometimes the word “fantasy” is taboo for some! Try posing the question about her fantasies in another form for instance:
“Would you rather...” questions are awesome icebreakers.

Sarah - level 10 -
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1 year ago

Agreed, while there is no ruling out that she really does have nothing at all, I am more inclined to think she is self conscious is reluctant to refer to anything as a “fantasy” per sé. Try an assortment of different approaches to see if you can find a more more comfortable way for her to hunt her interests to you.

Woof - 26yo - - level 46 -
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1 year ago

Hint*

Woof - 26yo - - level 46 -
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1 year ago

I haven’t had any fantasies. Seriously. I just act out what I want when I want with my bf whenever the feeling is right. I’m hopeful someday we can explore that a little further but sometimes kids and work as well as stress get in the way. So time will tell.

Jen - 43yo - level 30 -
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1 year ago

I love to discuss famous people and in detail what I would enjoy doing with them or what I would like to see them to do her

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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9 months ago

I don’t buy that horseshit! My hubby use to say that! We ALL have fantasies!! It’s human nature! What do you picture in your mind when you masterbate? Whatever it is.... that’s a fantasy! Even if it’s anout yourself or your spouse! My hubby said he had none! II always always knew better! It just took him 9 1/2 years to feel comfortable and safe enough to be able to let go and tell me!! People are too afraid to open up and let go of their unhealthy fear of judgement and ridicule!! But once he told me, I felt like I FINALLY had all of him! Like I had given him years ago! I finally know him! And all his dirty lil secrets! And I LOVE IT!! I ha no idea ( Well I had a suspicion. Just in a different direction.. lol) , he was such a wonderful freak!! Lol NOW we can explore a whole new wonderful world together! And we’re having a blast! Moral is: without openness and honesty, you miss out on so many things! Your whole marriage does! How can you truly know one another without it?

Deanna - 47yo - level 19 -
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1 year ago

Mine swears he doesn't have them either.... I find it a little hard to believe myself, but apparently some really don't have them... huh who knew? Lol

Nicole - 31yo - level 33 -
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1 year ago

Do you think maybe he does fantasize and for whatever reason wont admit to it?

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Some people really dont. My boyfriend hasnt opened up about his either, if he has any. Just give her time. If you force it out of her she will just be unconfortable. Just be happy she enjoys yours! With time, if she has any, she will open up.

Mary - 28yo - level 25 -
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1 year ago

Women work differently. We do day dream alot. Sometimes we fantasize and don't realize we do it. We get distracted and don't remember it after that.
Maybe getting her to write down her thoughts or text them to you instead of face to face. That way later y'all can look back and talk about it

Crystal - 29yo - level 12 -
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1 year ago

My husband is the same way saying he doesn’t have any.. I don’t believe him

Heather - 36yo - level 32 -
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11 months ago

I feel like I don't have fantasies. I don't actively have a burning desire to try a specific thing, I go with the flow and see where it goes.

Nardo - 28yo - level 41 -
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1 year ago

Maybe she is nervous that you're gonna make her fantasies a reality

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Maybe she is nervous you'll make her fantasies a reality

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Maybe shes nervous that you'll make her fantasies a reality

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Share, share, share!

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

I have the same problem here! I guess I'm not sure how to answer your question since I haven't answered it for myself. I guess start out slow with something very mild?

Randy - 56yo - level 29 -
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1 year ago

I feel like everyone has fantasies whether they choose to act out on them or open up about them...possibly she is feeling self conscious thinking there maybe judgement even though she knows there wouldn’t be confidence about her own sexuality could be part of it too.

Maggie - 35yo - level 3 -
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1 year ago

I too don't have real fantasies. Just ask what she likes in bed. Does she like oral, sex,... or ask this question:"if there would be one thing different in our sex life, what would you want it to be?"

Marijke - 24yo - level 44 -
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1 year ago

She's obviously is shy or isn't ready to share it with you ..or it's a sensitive matter ..in my opinion

Joshua - 37yo - level 24 -
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1 year ago

The word 'fantasy' is a stigma for some. Txt her the start of a story (set up the premise) and have her reply with the next couple of sentences, to which you reply and back and forth... The story might make her more comfortable to share and open up.

Courtney - 45yo - level 3 -
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1 year ago

Everyone has fantasies, she might either be shy to say or someone (maybe you) already made them true.

Yesenia - 35yo - level 42 -
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1 year ago

I don’t have specific fantasies, really. I know what I like when it’s presented to me.

Brianna - 28yo - level 26 -
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1 year ago

Yes some people just don't have fantasies. I really don't. Since she wants to hear yours, I would assume that yes she just doesn't have any.

Heather - 30yo - level 44 -
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1 year ago

Maybe you should drive your partner through it. Try to make her relax and think what would like to do or receive

Angel - 31yo - level 37 -
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1 year ago

My fiancee is the same way, she says she doesn't really fantasize, she thinks ks back and Invisions things we have already done. And that if there is something she wants to try or do, that she'll ask or mention it at that time. I wonder sometimes if that's true or not too, but if I feel I need to get her to open up a bit I write out a lengthy and detailed fantasy or "erotic story" of us mentioning new things and ideas to see how she feels about it :)

Brady - 26yo - level 22 -
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1 year ago

I have just one and I definitely don't wanna do it because of lots of reasons. For me it's not a fantasy

Madgscherly - 26yo - level 37 -
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1 year ago

Can you explain what you mean a bit more?

Ronnie - 37yo - level 26 -
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7 months ago

I would like to be with a woman but I don't wanna lose my amazing man just for curiosity.

Madgscherly - 26yo - level 37 -
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1 year ago

actually i’m not a fantasist person. lack of imagination

Putri - 23yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

Some people honestly do not fantasize. I used to but I am at a place in my life where I do not have the need or time to fantasize. It is not necessarily because she is self conscious it may be because she does not have a need to fantasize.

Tami - 39yo - level 41 -
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1 year ago

Lemme know when you find out bro? Good luck

Stanley Wilson - 26yo - level 7 -
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1 year ago

Yes. Some people don't fantasize. My fantasies are so few and far between, it would be hard to even recall, they just happen on a whim

anonymous - 23yo - level 20 -
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1 year ago

Make her comfortable with the situation before asking

anonymous - 41yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

Well, in my past relationship I didn't have fantasies at all. And my ex boyfriend kept asking me to tell him my fantasies anyway, so it was kin
da annoying! It's one of the reasons I broke up with him. I wasn't really attracted to him, and he pressured me so much I didn't even want to share anything with him. Be careful with that stuff. You can upset her.

Gabriela - 23yo - level 34 -
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1 year ago

Well, in my past relationship I didn't have fantasies at all. And my ex boyfriend kept asking me to tell him my fantasies anyway, so it was kinda annoying! It's one of the reasons I broke up with him. I wasn't really attracted to him, and he pressured me so much I didn't even want to share anything with him. Be careful with that stuff. You can upset her.

Gabriela - 23yo - level 34 -
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1 year ago

You can also tell her to do whatever she wants to you after giving her some much needed compliments to make her feel confident

Olivia - 20yo - level 17 -
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1 year ago

I genuinely don’t have any fantasies. I will relive things we’ve already done or read erotica but no creative new ideas. Love hearing my partners though!

Alanna - level 37 -
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1 year ago

Share yours wth her and try new things . Eventually she figure out what she likes.

Ashley - 35yo - level 7 -
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1 year ago

I know sex is taboo for some, and, therefore, they do not even think about it.
I can't even fantasize of a life without sexual fantasies. :)

Lauryl - 54yo - level 23 -
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1 year ago

She probably fantasizes about things that others think are taboo so she might be afraid of the negative side effect from you.

Rochele - 37yo - level 33 -
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1 year ago

Well you she loves to hear yours, so maybe hearing yours is a fantasy in itself for her! And if.possible try to bring one of your fantasies to real life.

Michael - 30yo - level 9 -
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1 year ago

You might also want to consider trying adjusting your timing. If you have only had these discussions when things were getting heated and she expected anything to happen, they might have been more dismissive about the idea of saying anything at all, or perhaps even vice versa, where being “in the mood” helps gives her more incentive to try sharing.

Reaffirm your comfort and support for her. Explain that even should she like something that you personally don’t have an interest in, that it is very okay to have different tastes and you won’t judge or question her - and that even if you don’t, maybe one day you would consider doing it for her if it would make her happy.

One more thing crossed my mind but this one is quite out there and presumptuous. You say she loves to hear about your fantasies. Is that an exaggeration or quite true? Is she very interested in trying most/all of them? If so, then I would be leaning toward believing that she might have “submissive” tendencies though may be afraid of discussing them. Of course, it is a random idea taken from the very little information you’ve given, but you’re the one who knows your partner so if you think there might be any truth to it then it’s something else to consider.

Woof - 26yo - - level 46 -
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1 year ago

Dont't push her. She will tell eventually.

Sara - 27yo - level 27 -
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1 year ago

Spend time with her.. make memories... tell her moree about you

Deea - 20yo - level 3 -
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1 year ago

Some people really don't have fantasies or are unaware that they have fantasies. But I think what you should try to do is get her to write them down and then discuss it. She might be shy to verbally discuss it in fear that she's going to get judged.

Solina - 24yo - level 25 -
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1 year ago

I don't think I have any fantasies. I think about my husband. I don't trust people enough to fantasize. I always find the negative potential in all situations. So I am happy with reality and safe and predictable.

Jennifer - 46yo - level 22 -
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1 year ago

She’s probably too scared/shy to admit them. Some people aren’t great verbal communicators. See if she’s willing to write it down and maybe trade one with you, it might feel more comfortable to her.

Tara - 41yo - level 1 -
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1 year ago

I think she has fantasies she's afraid to open up about.So instead she'd rather hear yours in hopes that maybe y'all share some and she's not as weird or kinky .

Kia - 32yo - level 7 -
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1 year ago

Some people really don’t, or maybe don’t recognize them as fantasies. My biggest fantasy is my partner making eye contact with me and making pillow talk while we do the act. Lol.

Lauren - 32yo - level 44 -
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1 year ago

I'm sure she does just is embarrassed for whatever reason.

Start small, just help her to start sharing and gradually it will open up. Let her see how enjoyable it can be to share.

Jared - 33yo - level 20 -
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1 year ago

Actually, some women really do not have explicitly sexual fantasies. They may have more romantic ones. Men are more visual in fantasy is off and have a very visual explicit nature to them while women tend have more emotionally based fantasies. Of course, these are generalities and everyone is different.

Lonnie - 72yo - level 12 -
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