113 - 2101 - 8 months ago

How to handle when partners show love in different ways and some ways take more time than others, and the other partner has much more occupational work to do, so time is limited?

Bean - 30yo - level 45

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8 months ago

Good communication and understanding their love language is key. Just talk to each other about your feelings.

Dave - 45yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

You'll have to do 2 things: 1. communicate and let the person know you enjoy their love language but don't always have time for our due to work. 2. Work together to Schedule time for it. Make the sacrifice a few times a week and during off days so they don't feel like their love language isn't valued.

Von - 33yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

You can do little things. Such as a heart drawn with lipstick on a mirror. A text just to say love you. Record their favorite show, so when you have time to watch together. Be sure to make time for each other with no distractions.

Brenda - 52yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

In situations like this planning is important. Schedule time together; a date night, a fun outing or activity you both enjoy, etc. The worst thing is having limited time then spending that time staring at a screen. Make sure the time you are able to spend together is real quality time, since it's limited quantity. If you're feeling daring you could even schedule a lunch date for some quick romance.

Athena - 29yo - level 20 -
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8 months ago

If you love the person you will make time, plain and simple. Life shouldn't be all about work. If your "career" takes up ALL your time... Maybe you work just doesn't allow for a relationship. Time to either give up on having a relationship (seems like a hollow life to me) and focus on your career.... Or find a new career, and live a more fulfilled life. For the record this is my OPINION. I value love more than (quite possibly) anything else there is. If you've found THE ONE, keep her/him. Don't be a fool a d throw them away for your job. You aren't a job with a life.... Your a life with a job.

Ryan - 38yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

You have to communicate firmly and let them know that you are a priority and that they need to treat you as such, especially if you have communicated to them in the past that you need them to show you love in the way that they need it. You know what you deserve and they need to realise that too.

Bianca - 23yo - level 44 -
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8 months ago

I am trying to figure that out myself Bean. In this case I'm retired and her job is very demanding. I'm having no trouble occupying myself but getting "our time" seems pressing at times

Glenn - 56yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Patience and communication. It's not easy, but it's worth it for the right person. Patience is really hard to achieve. Especially under stress and frustration. But if you take deep breaths and talk yourself into a calm state, it can really make a difference on how you approach situations.

Sharlin - 28yo - level 20 -
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8 months ago

Make it very clear what makes you feel loved and explain that it doesn't have to be always, just occasionally.

Brenna - 23yo - level 39 -
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8 months ago

Make the best of what we have

Crystal - 35yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

Nothing more I'll manage love with us by that tym

Dhiwakar - 20yo - level 20 -
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8 months ago

Communication! About your needs, wants, and capability of what you can do to meet their needs/wants.

Davida - 38yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Balance is key. Both partners need to talk it over and come to an understanding. One will need to understand that he/she may not get all the time he/she wants and the other will need to understand that sacrifices will have to be made where work is concern in order to meet his/her partner's need for time.

Laurice Gayle - 26yo - level 27 -
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8 months ago

Schedule in time. I know it sounds awful but that's the only way to get in much needed time together. If it's scheduled then time has physically been set aside even if there is a lot of crazy stuff going on. It's the one time to set aside work obligations and say "sorry, but I have scheduled plans with my significant other this evening. Work will have to wait until morning"

Kay - 24yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

Schedule in time. I know it sounds awful but that's the only way to get in much needed time together. If it's scheduled then time has physically been set aside even if there is a lot of crazy stuff going on. It's the one time to set aside work obligations and say "sorry, but I have scheduled plans with my S.O this evening. Work will have to wait until morning"

Kay - 24yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

Schedule in time. I know it sounds awful but that's the only way to get in much needed time together. If it's scheduled then time has physically been set aside even if there is a lot of crazy stuff going on. It's the one time to set aside work obligations and say "sorry, but I have scheduled plans with my S/O this evening. Work will have to wait until morning"

Kay - 24yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

I think the person that "needs more time" to show love should modify their expression occasionally, for their partner's happiness. Find out how she'd like you to show love. And make an effort to do those things, even if out of your comfort zone. The gesture will be even more meaningful. And if you can't compromise, you probably won't be together very long.

Sara - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Love has many different languages, and learning to speak them fluently takes flexibility, patience, and tolerance.

Alex - 40yo - level 2 -
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8 months ago

No excuse not to text! Communication is key

Morgan - 29yo - level 34 -
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8 months ago

Make sure the limited time you do have is quality time. Love notes, short texts, etc can go a long way.

Misty - 43yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

Being able to convey love for each other is vital for a couple's survival. So each of you needs to be understanding of the other's love language.

Joseph - 22yo - level 12 -
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8 months ago

Understanding goes a long way. Also communicate helps too

Brandon - 30yo - level 33 -
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8 months ago

A quick text or a little post it note with positive loving words.

Kristine - 30yo - level 21 -
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8 months ago

Quit being so complicated and nerdy. Love is not a math problem. It's actually quite illogical.

RICH - 38yo - level 21 -
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8 months ago

Keep in mind that there more then one way to love....trust your heartbecause u can tell when someone is with you

Dawn - 38yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

Compromise and communication, easier said than done .

Christopher - 34yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

Compromise!

Lisa - 29yo - level 16 -
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8 months ago

There always has to be time for your partner and you to show each other love even if it takes more time. That time may not always be right now though.

John-Paul - 40yo - level 29 -
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8 months ago

Communication, Trust and Understanding

Sneha - 25yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Suck it up and realize that relationships take work.

Laci - 33yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Agree to dedicate time to relationship building and togetherness. If two people are in a relationship, they will likely understand the need to nurture it, or would be open to hearing the expressly stated needs of his or her partner. Do NOT make assumptions that your partner "will know." If time is an issue, say it out loud and tackle it!

Jeremy - 38yo - level 31 -
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8 months ago

Be open and honest with your communication. Find out what your partner needs from you, and let them know what you need from them. Then coordinate- if your way of showing love takes time, see if you can handle parts of it before their window of time opens up. That way, when they do have free time, you're caught up and ready to roll.

Marina - 28yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Be open and honest with your communication. Find out what your partner needs from you, and let them know what you need from them. Then coordinate- if your way of showing love takes time, see if you can handle parts of it before their window of time opens up. That way, when they do have free time, you're caught up and ready to roll. Also, be realistic about your expectations. If they're trying, isn't that what really matters?

Marina - 28yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Be open and honest with your communication. Find out what your partner needs from you, and let them know what you need from them. Then coordinate- if your way of showing love takes time, see if you can handle parts of it before their window of time opens up. That way, when they do have free time, you're caught up and ready to roll. Also, be realistic about your expectations- work together to make the most of the time you have. If they're trying, isn't that what really matters?

Marina - 28yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Even though you show love a differnt way, it's important to find out the others way of love so you can show them in that way....otherwise you are working hard (your way) but they're not receiving it because its not connecting that's its love, so you actually working overly hard for nothing.
And you would never let your pet die right in front of you because you're too tired from work, right? You would still feed it and pet it? You always have to feed and pet your love, ALWAYS, its Sooo important!!

Deanna - 45yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

Be patient

Jennifer - 28yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Recognise and accept

Emmanuel - 23yo - level 27 -
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8 months ago

Try to adapt that style as best you can to make it work with the time you have. Sometimes you have to just do the best with the time you have. Effort is a big part of it.

Jason - 40yo - level 24 -
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8 months ago

I guess.. schedule it in. Jot it down.. with a time and at that time each day.. show love

Jocelyn - 37yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Have patience and let things happen

Allan - 37yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

Read the book “The 5 love languages”

Katie - 30yo - level 11 -
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8 months ago

Make the time you do have count. Plan and try your best to not have any distractions/interruptions. Our phone away or on silent, focus all of your attention on them, etc. It’s quality time over quantity for time spent. :)

Melissa - 28yo - level 21 -
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8 months ago

If possible in the budget, plan small getaway vacations together to focus on each other and their needs.

Tj - level 3 -
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8 months ago

Just communicate and be understanding of each others love language

Medina - 33yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

Communicate your needs and make time. Remind them that life is short, and a career is not the most important thing in life.

Dawn - 44yo - level 21 -
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8 months ago

Be clear to each other about your desires or needs. But d make them a must before you do your part.
Look for ways to love each other in the small things and sometimes sacrifice some work time for your love. Show your partner he/she still comes first.

Sharon - 37yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Enjoy the time you have together and make every moment count

Andy - 48yo - level 42 -
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8 months ago

I believe that no matter what happens in your relationship; If you are serious about him/her.
You should always be able to make time for your significant other and not let anything or anybody change that. The key to this situation is good communication and teamwork. Nothing is impossible. It just requires patience and commitment at these times.

Ryohei - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Just being open and completely honest with your spouse will go a long ways with this. Coming to an understanding of both parties needs and limits with showing love .. and receiving it

Jon - 38yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

There are a lot of good reasons here, Communication is key mutual understanding love and patience are important the dollar question is what is are you all in?

Billy - 60yo - level 23 -
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8 months ago

Time works wonders

Sarah - 21yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Be patient. What you want and need will come.

Dan - 40yo - level 1 -
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8 months ago

It’s important to communicate what you’re feeling without the frustration getting in the way. Frustration has a way of discrediting our feelings when we try to communicate, and that only breeds resentment.

I do agree with a lot of the posts here in that you “need to make time”, but that’s easier said than done. Is there something you both enjoy doing that could be better done together? Is there something that consumes your downtime like house work or pet care that maybe the less time-constrained person could handle while the other is busy?

It’s difficult and I’m hoping I’ve helped, but every relationship is different. I wish you the best and I think it’s admirable you sought help :) if you have reddit, r/relationshipadvice, r/askmen, r/askwomen, and r/relationships are all really helpful and honest places. You may need to help others a bit before they let you post your own, but it’s worth the objective and limitless advice!

Mat - 30yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Communication is key, get to know the other person and try to understand their feelings

Marisol - 34yo - level 12 -
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8 months ago

Well. I guess it's looking for the little things that the person does do.

Justin - 29yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

I suggest reading The love languages togther or at the very least taking the test and then communicating with your SO about your love language.

Cassie - 26yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Open communication and honesty. Find out how they would like to be loved and do your best to do it and you can put your own flair on it. You're not the person so you won't necessarily do what they want perfectly but if you try they will see it. You and your partner have to be understanding and make the best out of the little moments

Ethan Dixon - 27yo - level 37 -
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8 months ago

Knowing their love language is important. It's also important that you are patient and understanding. When I experienced a similar thing I just found activities that I could do in the same room while they worked. Just being physically close meant a lot.

Ashley - 27yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

Share the time you have. Quick phone call while grocery shopping or make a quick video to share when they can catch up with you. Have a virtual "date" to watch the same show. Make use of what time they have.

Dawn - 40yo - level 27 -
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8 months ago

Communication and devotion when you do have time to spend together

Jessie - 29yo - level 20 -
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8 months ago

If you love them, you will make time. Communicate with each other and make compromises.

Carla - 23yo - level 28 -
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8 months ago

I have this problem I’m married but three states away on a corporate promotion. I have so little time myself so I try to send surprises by mail and text often. A package in the mail even if you live together can be a real pick me up.

Autumn-Skye - 47yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Asking them what things you can do to show love to them.

Olivia - 41yo - level 13 -
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8 months ago

My answear might differ from the most common ones, but apart from talking about with your partner, taking the time to consider what you can do on your own to feel better is probably the easiest way of avoiding putting pressure on your partner of changing it's way of living.
Do you feel lonley? Is it possible that there is somone else among your friends that you could get closer to and share the moments you otherwise would take for granted to be shared with your partner? If your partner loves you, it want's you to be happy, and if there is something he/she is not capable of giving you, it could be enlightening knowing that someone else is keeping you from "starving".
We live in a society were one person is expected to fullfill all of your needs, which is not realistic. And neither is it realistic to suppose you can't be together because that's not the case.

Felicia - 26yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

I feel like I'm currently in this situation right now. Hubby works long hours, I'm have a part time job and a mom, but I feel like I put more effort into our marriage. I've got no advice, but I'll read the comments and find inspiration there.

Rochele - 36yo - level 32 -
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8 months ago

Being in a relationship requires compromise. The person who is busier has to put extra effort into making time for their mate. The other needs to be extra patient and understanding of the time limits.

Lisa - 40yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

Do the best you can to make time for each other, and during that precious time truly make about it each limit the outside distractions as best you can.

Ken - 57yo - level 18 -
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8 months ago

Soak it up when its available and look forward to the next time with anticipation!

Pete - 43yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Figure out ways of showing love that feel genuine but can work within time or cut back on occupational work. Emphasize quality over quantity.

Lily - 19yo - level 36 -
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8 months ago

Read or listen to the 5 Languages of Love. It will help immensely!

Amanda - 35yo - level 45 -
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8 months ago

Each partner has to carve out time to simply be with the other person and engage in activities that feed the partners love language. It will take deliberate action.

Watson - 29yo - level 37 -
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8 months ago

Have a discussion about what is really important to both and find a compromise

Nicola Newton - 33yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Just appreciate the more time consuming ways your Partner shows you her / his love. He / She wont expect you to necessarily do it with the same time effort. Most important is to Show him/ her your happyness about it.

Simon - 31yo - level 14 -
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8 months ago

It's not the words always...tune into the energy and vibration

Chasul - 30yo - level 25 -
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8 months ago

Effective communication is key in such situation. Also you must be creative enough to come up with different ways of showing your love. Take advantage of every free time you get to be together.

Ann - 23yo - level 38 -
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8 months ago

Partners always must find time for each other, and make that time a priority , because in the world we live ,, some partners look at the time they spend together as a waste time.

Monty - 32yo - level 24 -
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8 months ago

Learn how to show love in multiple ways. And it will always shine through.

Marina - 26yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

You hafto ask if the person is worth the wait to see if there love blossoms

anonymous - 29yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Make some "golden middle"

Ivan - 25yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Sometimes one person needs more attention than their partner and in other relationships one person is more co-depent and their partner is more independent. You will know these about eachother going in to the relationship and if situations and circumstances change, change with it. If your still successful then it was meant to be.

princess - 35yo - level 37 -
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8 months ago

Some people just receive love differently. Know what makes you feel loved and what makes your partner feel loved. Often they are different and might take more work, but when your partner feels loved your relationship will be better for it. Make the time for the things that matter.

Rachel - 21yo - level 29 -
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8 months ago

If you have less time, you make more out of the time available. Dual-military experience speaking (where its an extreme example), but partners in medical, police, on-call jobs, etc. (Even having kids, or pretty much any couple) can relate to this. Look at your time budget with awareness and intent. And prioritize.

anonymous - 32yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

Take the time to prove your feelings and actions speak louder than words

Joshua - 37yo - level 24 -
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8 months ago

Hold their tongue and watch and learn and be accepting t Love is the Glue that holds ya together the other

anonymous - 46yo - level 20 -
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8 months ago

I think communication is the key .so we need to communicate and of course he is my priority so I will make the time and I will cancel work related stuff

Marianne - 33yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

You and your partner should read 5 love languages in order to understand each other better!

Linh - 25yo - level 31 -
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8 months ago

Have to make time are tell him that they van go do and help if need so make plans

anonymous - 31yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Maybe look for ways to show love while doing things together. What chores can be done together? Can you exercise together? Relax together?

Heather - level 42 -
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8 months ago

Communication and commitment to making time.

Steve - 48yo - level 26 -
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8 months ago

I'm sorry, did you say something?

As others have said, check out Love Languages.

anonymous - level 2 -
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8 months ago

Communicate

Lauryl - 54yo - level 23 -
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8 months ago

Thing is it’s your relationship. It’s a choice to be in and something to treasure. You need to decide if the effort is worth it cause if your in the right relationship there are no limits.

Kel - 39yo - level 4 -
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8 months ago

Five love languages by Gary Chapman

Robert - 27yo - level 18 -
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8 months ago

Love Is In The Details, There's no such thing as 'tpo busy' to show love. ♡

Clou - 39yo - level 3 -
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8 months ago

Communication.

Michael - 43yo - level 31 -
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8 months ago

Communicate what you need, what works, and what doesn't work. When time is limited, communicate or one of you may go crazy.

Korrie - 31yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

I wish I had this answer too.

The difference in expression causes friction for us (not frequently, but regularly)

Jared - 33yo - level 19 -
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8 months ago

If he/she is your partner for lingterm you cannot have an urge to change him/her. Be understanding, honest and respectful and communicate your feelings to them and talk about it

Katija - 22yo - level 30 -
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8 months ago

Love is the answer... :)

anonymous - 28yo - level 8 -
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8 months ago

Anyway you have to be yourself and try to accept the different way of giving love. Time is unlimited for those who love!

Joseph - 28yo - level 7 -
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8 months ago

I would suggest you hone in on your partner's most important specific need(s) and express your love specifically to that end. Everyone has different emotional needs, generally what people "give" is what they want in return, they express love the way they need love expressed to them. Figure out if you and your partner are actually meeting each other's emotional needs by expressing your love the way they NEED you to and not the way you prefer to. Once you discover how to best meet their needs, it will be easy to focus on those activities and expressions of love and should save you time. For example, I always drew elaborate cards for little anniversaries for my husband, but he did not appreciate them the way I expected after I put in all that time and effort. I realized that gifts and such are not important to him. I was the one who longed for him to make me such a card, but he never did. Once he realized that was something that would boost our relationship, he gave it a try. I loved it! It is sometimes uncomfortable or awkward to show love in the way your partner needs, as your needs may vary greatly, but it will have a big pay off! My husband works long hours but he appreciates open communication and for me to express appreciation, so I put notes in his bag, pack his lunch for him so he does not have to, send him an email for him to see at lunch, just to remind him that I love him and such. He much prefers the sign of appreciation and support from me packing up his work bag so he can head out the door quicker in the morning to a love poem I wrote for him. And it does not take much time to do those small, but effective, expressions of love. Hope that helps.

Mindy - 35yo - level 6 -
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8 months ago

Work to show them in their own way.

Lydia - 29yo - level 50 -
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8 months ago

Communication is key

anonymous - 37yo - level 17 -
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8 months ago

Have patience and be grateful

Luiza - 25yo - level 43 -
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8 months ago

Just communicate well and make sure that you relay that r you live and appreciate your partner

Summer - 32yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

Things that will remind them of you whilst they're busy or away like notes in a homemade lunch or something that smells like your perfume/cologne in an over night bag.

Bethany - 24yo - level 22 -
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8 months ago

Just do your best and try to tune into the love languages of your partner.

Amy - 37yo - level 5 -
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8 months ago

Be sure to communicate your efforts. Also be sure that the way you show love is the way she/he likes to receive love. And vice versa. Perhaps things can become a lot more simpler when it is clear to your spouse how you can be loved and accommodated as well as you knowing their love language as well

Michael - 30yo - level 9 -
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8 months ago

Best possible way

Barry - 35yo - level 15 -
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8 months ago

Communicate your heart for the other person in the meantime. Let them know how much they mean by telling them you desire for time with/for them, and that maybe you are working on a surprise or something special. Sometimes we have to learn other love languages to communicate our hearts during those times our natural love language doesn't fit perfectly with the circumstances.

Maureen - 31yo - level 29 -
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8 months ago

have to find balance.

Tara - 39yo - level 3 -
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8 months ago

The question is asked weirdly, but I'm gonna say that communication and being understanding are important factors to handle this scenario. If you both take the time to communicate with one another and figure out how to solve some issues/misunderstandings then you would both be able to understand each other on a deeper level like what works and what doesn't work.

Solina - 24yo - level 24 -
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8 months ago

Still working this out..lol..but PATIENCE, understanding and communication definitely is key.

Stanley Wilson - 26yo - level 7 -
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