8 months ago
I would suggest you hone in on your partner's most important specific need(s) and express your love specifically to that end. Everyone has different emotional needs, generally what people "give" is what they want in return, they express love the way they need love expressed to them. Figure out if you and your partner are actually meeting each other's emotional needs by expressing your love the way they NEED you to and not the way you prefer to. Once you discover how to best meet their needs, it will be easy to focus on those activities and expressions of love and should save you time. For example, I always drew elaborate cards for little anniversaries for my husband, but he did not appreciate them the way I expected after I put in all that time and effort. I realized that gifts and such are not important to him. I was the one who longed for him to make me such a card, but he never did. Once he realized that was something that would boost our relationship, he gave it a try. I loved it! It is sometimes uncomfortable or awkward to show love in the way your partner needs, as your needs may vary greatly, but it will have a big pay off! My husband works long hours but he appreciates open communication and for me to express appreciation, so I put notes in his bag, pack his lunch for him so he does not have to, send him an email for him to see at lunch, just to remind him that I love him and such. He much prefers the sign of appreciation and support from me packing up his work bag so he can head out the door quicker in the morning to a love poem I wrote for him. And it does not take much time to do those small, but effective, expressions of love. Hope that helps.
Mindy - 35yo - level 6 -