3 months ago
She sounds emotionally manipulative. It usual happens with people who have experienced past trauma as a defence mechanism. Often there's a deep fear of rejection or insecurity so the person tries to reject people before they themself are rejected. But they then turn around and blame the other person for making them act in certain ways.
Kyla - 36yo - level 22 -
This is a hard one. I hope you've got other people or family you can talk to.
The only way to resolve is to talk it through and you'd have to do that outside of an existing argument so try and pick a time to talk when she is in a good mood and you can talk about what good communication looks like and what trust looks like. Depends how committed she is as to whether she will be receptive. Try to make it about behaviour you want to see more of, not about blaming each other for past behaviour.
If you're struggling you do need to look after yourself.
Sometimes we can't help other people and as painful as it is we have to let them go. I had to do this with my ex who I still love last year. For both our sakes.
Hope it all works out for you