10 months ago
What I read from this is that you’re feeling like you look ok/ attractive because you exercise and do housework. She might not have the energy for sex because she is mentally exhausted? Look at it from her point of view; if she is working and being with the kids, helping with homework and driving them around for activities all week, she might feel like she need to top up her energy level again. And that might not be by you doing the laundry or cooking dinner. It might not be for her to get out of the house and be social with her friends. She might need some alone time, some time where she doesn’t need to do anything else than vege out on the couch with her phone and the tv on and not be around others. A weekend off without the kids and you might help her recharge.
Johanne - 28yo - level 38 -
After that complements and reassurances and daily touches (non sexual) might bring you two closer together and re kindle the spark. When the touch isn’t foreign and the hugs are frequent, sex isn’t far away.
Start with just small things, things that are something that you would think only teenagers do, kissing and making out without it having to lead somewhere. Doing just enough to make the interest bigger. Don’t rush things.
She might be feeling insecure in your desire for her, and not just sex. Desire and love are not the same thing. You choose to love someone unconditionally but desire has to be worked on.
If sex hurts it might make her resist it, and it might unconsciously take away the desire for intercourse. She might not have told you about it because she herself isn’t thinking about sex hurting. It just does. And therefore it’s not something she wants? The slow way to build desire and the connection between you two is my best recommendation. Show her you want her, not just for sex, but because she is who she is. Making her be comfortable and confident in her own skin and in return she might make you feel comfortable and confident in yourself which can help your sexlife a lot