3 - 77 - 1 month ago

I have been with the same person off and on for over 2 and a half years. We have been good off and on and for the last 9 months its been hell due to our past. He has cheated on me multiple times, lied to me about it, hidden things and when cheated didn't use protection. He can't comprehend I have very low trust in the man I love and I want him to do is be open and honest with me and stop putting my life at danger while sleeping with these other people unprotected. Which he has passed around one curable std to all of us before. Now waiting on tests again to make sure I'm still safe. I will can not comprehend how if he loves me does this bullshit all the time. If he wants to be fwbs fine, however he stats thats not what he wants. Well u cant have your cake and eat it to.

Rebecca - 39yo - level 10

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1 month ago

Don’t let yourself be treated this way! You are so much more worth than to be One of his many. And being told that “baby you’re it for me, I promise it won’t happen again. They don’t mean shit to me. You’re the one I love” it has been said most likely more than enough times to not mean anything anymore.
You are strong and independent enough to say enough is enough. If you need help doing so have someone you do rely on and trust with you when you tell him. Make sure you try to do better yourself. Don’t contact him when you’re feeling lonely, sob in front of the tv with sappy movies, do go out for coffees by yourself and enjoy being alone without the constant interruptions of insecurities that he wants you but doesn’t feel you’re enough for him.
YOU ARE ENOUGH! And someone WILL see that. You just need to be on your own long enough to feel like you don’t need someone to be there to be enough. Because you are enough for yourself. Go and enjoy your life without that jerk and let him mess up his own life without you in it!

Johanne - 28yo - level 36 -
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1 month ago

Your completely right. He says all of that but also blames me that I work to much or do to much with my family and not him. Which when it comes to my family I don't invite him because my family is disappointed in how he treats me and what all he has done. So if he was to go there would be nothing but arguments. So I keep it separate and instead of him growing up he repeats the same thing over and over. New girl, old girl, no protection and disregards the safety of my life as well and straight out lies to me about it and has over and over.

Rebecca - 39yo - level 10 -
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1 month ago

It is 100% his fault that He chooses to go out and find these others. Because that’s it in the end, he chooses not to be faithful to your relationship, even if it’s an on and off again thing.
He isn’t choosing right in your eyes. Therefore he isn’t going to be good enough for You. You are too good for him and he is too blinded by his own ego to see how much he is hurting you and by putting the blame on you he insures that you’re gonna feel like you can just do better by not working so much or not seeing your family that often.
But you know what? He is wrong. Working and chasing your dreams is never something wrong and keeping the family and friends who love you around you isn’t wrong. Because you deserve to be free enough in a relationship to do what you like and not face consequences like being cheated on with or without protection. Regardless of what you are doing, his choices and actions are his own and at some point they have to have consequences = that the mean he looses you.
Which means you gain more self confidence and can keep your head up high and say I might have loved you and I might still do. But I’m putting myself first and by doing that I’m taking you out of that equation because the way I feel about the way I’ve been treated by you is not something I intend to feel for the rest of my life. So here I am just starting a new chapter without him in it.

Ps. It’s hard to be cheated on, and it’s ok to be down. It’s ok to miss someone and something without actually wanting it back.
Write down your feelings when you’re thinking about him and instead of a conversation with him you write it down without sending it. Then you get the worries out of your head, but he doesn’t get to twist it into something else. You have the power.

Johanne - 28yo - level 36 -
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1 month ago

** = that it means he loses you.

Hope you at some point feel brave enough to see this as true and also brave enough to do something about it and stand up for yourself! Good luck! 🍀👊💪

Johanne - 28yo - level 36 -
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1 month ago

Thank you ma'am for the advice. It's a messed up situation and why to many people have to deal with it. Why cant people just be real and honest anymore instead of hiding shit and jeopardizing everything they "supposedly" want!

Rebecca - 39yo - level 10 -
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1 month ago

Stop baking the damn cakes than!!! Cheating once "might" be forgivable, depending on the situation & if it NEVER happened again but multiple times...HELL NO!!! I can imagine what he is saying/doing to keep you from kicking him to the curb but you have got to be strong & tell yourself everyday that you DO NOT deserve such disrespect!! You deserve happiness & love. Someone that puts you on a pedestal & only has eyes for you!!! Someone that tells you and shows you everyday how much he loves you. Someone that rids you of your insecurities & heightens your self-esteem- Your soulmate is out there, I promise!! I've been where you r & it was an emotional prison!! I have been with my soulmate for almost 2 years & I finally know what LOVE is😁 I pray that you will be strong....so u can find the love u deserve.

Bobbi - 55yo - level 23 -
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1 month ago

Thank you

Rebecca - 39yo - level 10 -
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1 month ago

Get rid of him! No one should be lied to and cheated on multiple times!! He needs a consequence for his actions and that is losing you. You can find better.

Nicole - 42yo - level 18 -
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1 month ago

Thank you

Rebecca - 39yo - level 10 -
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