28 - 616 - 1 month ago

It's close to our wedding date. Lately we have not been seeing eye-to-eye and finding a middle ground sometimes is out of reach. Any suggestions on my hardworking man who is just too tired to spend quality time with me

CD - 43yo - level 18

Your reaction:

Reactions (28)

1 month ago

The stress of a wedding can be a lot. He may be working more as he is worried about money for the wedding, honeymoon, or just your life together. This is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, Express to him you are concerned that he seems overworked and ask how you can help share the burden. Even if you can't help he will hear your concern and feel that you SEE him, even in this crazy busy time. :)

Joann - 48yo - level 4 -
2
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 week ago

I love my soon to be wife she is my soul mate and there can never be another woman in my life or heart i cant wait to see her in her dress and to see glowing i do work alot but i am only trying to do take care of her and provide for like she deserved i want to make her happy

Lloyd - 46yo - level 18 -
0
- Report
1 day ago

Oh wow you are my soul mate, you made my day

CD - 43yo - level 18 -
Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Something as simple as cuddling in front of the tv even if you hate whats on, or start giving more oral, that always works!😉

Casey - 33yo - level 13 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

I would have to agree with all of the above comments I read. Also I speak from experience when I say that he really does love you and want you to be ok and content in your relationship. But like myself when I was in the position didn't know anything was wrong if she never told me that anything was wrong. And so I couldn't fix the issue or find a suitable solution for the both of us to be happy, and trust and believe me most of us men do want to fix things especially with our Soulmate with that being said though because I couldn't read her mind to know what was wrong I couldn't change my behavior to help her and I get back on the same page. Sorry if this made little to no sense. And if it does make sense I hope that it helps someone anyone. Stay blessed all. Be kind to one another please and thank you.

TreeFrog - 31yo - Married - 5 - Spokane, United States - level 12 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

The wedding ceremony is going to mean different things to different people. For both of you it can be overwhelming in different ways. During this planning process, it's important to protect some time together to just play and enjoy eachother (i.e. NOT talking about the wedding). Plan a date where the ground rules are, "we can't talk about the wedding or the honeymoon" and see how he responds.

Kam - 57yo - level 8 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

This is a stressful time period and I think it will pass. Express your concerns but Wade through the storm. It won't last forever.

Duane - level 21 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

maybe twice a week you guys dont talk about the wedding and spend time together like you did before the wedding plans

Danielle - 26yo - level 6 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Dont expect too much...as you said he is hard working and weddings are alot for anyone especially men. Maybe make some time off all about him one day

Stephanie - 37yo - level 15 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Well cut him some slack. If he's working extra maybe to help with wedding costs. He's probably wanting you to have the perfect day and he will so whatever it takes

Isaiah - 37yo - level 8 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Remember that no matter how much money you have, you can't buy back or purchase time. When you asked her "THE QUESTION", you essentially told her NOTHING on God's planet is more valuable to you than HER! She is what you thought of when you shot for the moon, and LUCKY YOU, you caught a STAR!!!!

Timothy - 45yo - level 11 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Remember what bought y’all together and ask him if anything is bothering him he may be stressed at work. Take time to listen to his problems even if they aren’t about your relationship a lot of things can bring a man down and he may just want you to listen to him not so much solve any problems

Billy - 44yo - level 17 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Take time to remember what brought you together and the similarities

India - 31yo - level 9 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Love him where he is at. Wedding preparations are always stressful. If it feels like there's already a lot on his plate then he needs something to distress him, like a massage? If that doesn't work then I suggest spending time where he is. If hes relaxing watching TV cuddle up. If you want to go to bed early go to bed early with him. Try not to stress too much once the wedding is over it's easy sailing.

Chrissie - 53yo - level 1 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Try doin something u did at the start of you relationship like watch a movie like the howling and have a bottle of wine together. Works for me everytime we have a rough patch.

Wesley - level 14 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

He may be a bit overwhelmed by all of the demands and stress of planning a wedding together, Give him the space he needs to recharge his batteries and keep on loving you. His together time meter may be on overload right now. Don't take it personally...

Shalena - 50yo - level 22 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Spend some quality time by yourself. If he's coming home and going straight to bed, curl up next to him and read a book. Spend some time with him, but also with yourself.

Mercedes - 26yo - level 4 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Express how it's making u feel. Always be honest.

Nikki - 36yo - level 9 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Definitely just sit down and have a calm and open dialogue about how your feeling. Dont place blame, just check in with what's going on with you, what's going on with him, and see if you guys can figure out a way to meet in the middle. It helps me to figure out specifically what I need and tell my husband and have him do the same. If the solution or middle ground is too vague, like "I'll try to pay more attention to you" it's easy to forget. If it's more specific like "let's spend 10 minutes together with nothing in the background just to check in with eachother" I'm more likely to follow through.

Amanda - 32yo - level 11 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Pray and ask God for guidance.

anonymous - 36yo - level 10 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I would agree with the suggestions of finding his love language and helping him refresh when he's tired. (and letting Him know yours may help. eliminate some guesswork so he can expend his limited time / energy where it will help you the most) Make an effort to be the first person to go halfway. But also let him know you're feeling overwhelmed and disconnected - in a constructive manner, presenting how you feel, not a complaint about who he is. If going out for a big date is exhausting, maybe a couple's massage (at a spa or taking turns being each other's masseuse on consecutive nights) or something low-key that helps you reconnect emotionally and remember why you love each other would be good. Take an extra 10 minutes to cuddle before bed or reminisce about your favorite dates

Christine - 29yo - level 37 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Hang in there. Things are always most stressful before a big event!!!

Kalee - 49yo - level 19 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Just find common ground and show him support of his love. If he needs space also give him, love will come back.

Nemiah - 27yo - level 14 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

I'm sure once all this wedding stuff is behind u you we be newlyweds and have that fun.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Doing life is about giving and receiving. I know the wedding is really important but in turn have you been neglecting him at all.

Keep making him happy and communicate your frustration !! Do life together - give and receive

Mark - 47yo - level 9 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Appeal to his love language. However try leaving him little notes detailing some of the reasons you love him. This allows you to remind yourself of those reasons while making him feel special and maybe even start to try and see things from your point of view. Wedding planning is high stress and can sometimes take the attention off of what marriage is really about- the two of you.

While you're writing these love note for him try and incorporate activities that you look forward to doing with him that he can redeem later

Iris - 33yo - level 10 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

You should both sit down and try to talk openly about what might be the problem

Dan - 28yo - level 14 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

I highly suggest finding his love language and taking a look at the “Enneagram”. Figure out what might be causing the root of your “disconnect”. It works wonders just to understand the differences in your personality styles. Try to communicate in a way that is most meaningful to him. Also, remember these 4 basic concepts, it will be life changing. 1. Be curious, not critical. 2. Be careful, not crushing. 3. Ask don’t assume. 4. Connect before you correct. These have been drastically helpful in my relationship. My husband and I have gone through some real doozies. It’s only by the Grace of God and through these 4 carefully cultivated skills that we’ve grown in our love and connection. He’s not a super affectionate guy and that is my love language. If you’re more interested about the 4 skills, I highly recommend looking up the Ted Talk “4 Habits of all successful Relationships”. May God bless and heal your situation. I wish you genuine joy, in abundance!

Haley - 28yo - level 8 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
1 month ago

Even when working, he needs to be sure to spend time with you. Work can kill the romance in a marriage fast.

Maybe have a nice dinner with a movie at home. It isn't much, but it's something.

Aurora - 26yo - level 1 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send

Your reaction:

Similar discussions

Trending discussions

Recent discussions