2 - 213 - 9 months ago

Need advice , my husband and I have been together 12 years we both are having a hard time moving on from our mistakes we. Don't trust each other at all, what can I do to gain his trust back and how can began to trust him again? I LOVE him thru all of this bs I stayed I'm willing to do anything thing to make our marriage work and so is he, but he keeps check my phone trying to find thing I'm doing right now and I'm not he questions if I take to long at the store. So I ask him let me go thru your phone he says no he hides the screen when its charging and he Won't leave his phone when he leaves the room, but I won't go thru his phone I'm scared what I might find , if I did my life would be over here with him and would have to start all over.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11

Your reaction:

Reactions (2)

9 months ago

First, you need to sit down and talk about what you two want in life and see if y'all want the same things or have the same goals and if he feels the same about you. If so, you both have to be an open book with each other and might have to do something for each other you might not want to, but if you really love him and he loves you , it's worth it (ex: tracker, letting each other see the others phone or emails etc, basically to prove you have nothing to hide) ask him what would show him or what would help him understand that you want to be truthful and honest and vice versa see what y'all come up with together. I'm speaking from experience with this... It takes A LOT of growing up to be straight and honest with each other it also takes alot to fully forgive. Hurt gets in the way of that sometimes. You both need to take responsibility for your actions that hurt each other in the first place. (example: l'm sorry I cheated on you, I was feeling very left out or abandoned at the time, I now know where I fucked up and I know what I need to do to fix it and not let it happen again, if you just give me a chance and vice versa... ) Time heals everything

Tiffany - 34yo - level 35 -
0
- Report
Add a comment Send
9 months ago

What if trust isn't supposed to be restored? Did you get married just to prove loyalty? Did you get married just to say, "we stuck together"? I woke up after 30 years of marriage realizing the only reason I was still married was because I feared starting over. I've discovered fear never leads to a better life. I decided to do the unthinkable and started over. Best decision I've ever made in my life, but it wasn't easy. I just remarried, just for love. We have zero past to forgive or forget. Everything I wanted in a "love relationship" is present and it's better than I remembered it to be. I've never met a happy couple that had faithfulness issues. Cheating permanently changes relationships, though cheating is just a symptom of not finding in your partner what you NEED. Nothing spells, "it's over" more than unfaithfulness. Don't know what's right for you, but you do.

-
0
- Report
9 months ago

I agree with above person.

Christina - 33yo - in a relationship for 1 year - Dating - level 27 -
Report
Add a comment Send

Similar discussions

Trending discussions

Recent discussions