7 - 143 - 7 months ago

He looks thru my phone but when i ask him if i can look thru his phone its a no! We r supposed be working on our trust for each other . I hope he is not hiding anything

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11

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7 months ago

I would totally feel like he was. That's how I feel about my bf. I never hide what I'm doing on my phone but the minute I look over to his, he's closing everything and moving it out of eyesight as quick as he possibly can. It's frustrating and hurtful to say the least and it makes me question everything, cuz if you have nothing to hide, why do it every single time?? I'm in the same boat so I have no advice.. Just needed to vent too.😕😕

Christina - 33yo - in a relationship for 1 year - Dating - level 27 -
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6 months ago

Venting is the best , that's why I start so many discussions.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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4 months ago

Yes he is if he tells you no but does yours or flips out he is definitely hiding something!!! Trust your gut

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6 months ago

Sweetie... I gotta b honest & ppl say blint without a filter sometimes, understand, im just trying b real & a friend... I kno u love him, u must, butsometimes love IS NOT ENUFF!! & HONESTLY..... he continues this behavior bc UR ALLOWING HIM TO DO SO. Theres ultimately no consequence or repercussion for his actions. Yeau might flip out argue threaten leave or break up & may evenbreak up for a bit but yall always get bck together or "work thru it"... Well, thats just showing him that he can continue treating u like he does or has been bc ull get over it sooner or later. U HAVE TO TAKE A STAND.... U HVE TO SAY TO URSELF " IM WORTH MORE !! I DESERVE BETTER!!" & BELIEVE IT BC U DO. DONT JUST SETTLE BC ITS FAMILIAR OR COMFORTABLE ALWAYS WANT. BETTER FOR URSELF LUV. LOOK....I am not proud of this from my past but i have beenon both sides of that fence.... The cheater & the cheatee.... ( a veryvery long time ago) & the saying is " if u truly love some1 u wouldnt b able to nor want to cheat on ur partner" WELL... I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT IS TRUE NOW!! My relationship with Wade is so different from any other & i couldnt imagine even talkn to some1 else more less anything else. I really dont see, look, fantasize or anything like that about any1 else. Its like every other male is family or non-exsistant n my eyes . Wade is the man i see. Im crazy head over heels madly in love with him & there is NO FUCKING WAY IM FUCKING THAT UP OVER A PC OF ASS! .
U NEED MAKE A DECISION... either stay with him & let him continue to do these things to u & learn deal with em or "share him" if u will, or, walk away... At least then ull b stsrting the healing process for urself & 1 day ull look bck say " damn , i cant believe i was that stupid stay with him" & u will also find some1 that will love u & treat u like a goddess. Give the same as u r in ur relationship. U do deserve better. Good luck honey... Just remember ALWAYS STRIVE FOR GREATNESS ANYTHING LESS WOULD B settling.

Crystal - 43yo - level 1 -

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6 months ago

Honey that's a guilty conscience. Leave him.

Tyra - 34yo - level 16 -
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6 months ago

Wow what a joke she was talking to another guy and telling him in detail what she wanted to do to him. Also found last night that she was telling a good friend of mine that she loved him and he said it back like this. (Love ya to playa) and then she says after I here you say that I just want to keep talking to you.

Jeffery - 40yo - level 11 -
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6 months ago

The good friend was just a good friend and that was only over text and he was state's away I did need a ego boost cuz he did just cheat on me I choose to stay but he never did reensure me that he thought I was pretty or if he was still attracted to me . I don't even think there was a real I'm sorry! I should not have done that I'm not proud of my self for that , and I am truly sorry I tell him everyday that he is still as sexy as when I fell in love with him.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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7 months ago

How does he go through your phone? Do you give it to him because he asks to see it, or is he looking over your shoulder when you’re using it? Is he looking up your conversations with people or just looking at what apps and stuff you have on there?

I personally think that phones are a private thing and you don’t have to share everything to be honest and trustful in a relationship. But what you do have to do is to be honest about your actions and intentions. There is no space for lies and secrets. If your intentions to look at his phone is to catch him at something, then you’re approaching it wrong. If your intentions are to find out what interests he has and what kind of apps he uses then say it and ask him to show you. But to look through someone’s phone just because you don’t trust them then that isn’t a healthy way to approach the issue.

You should discuss it with your boyfriend and explain why you get upset when he doesn’t want you to look at his phone. Explain why it’s important for you to share what they do on their phone. Most likely it’s just something boring like scrolling on 9gag or something.. But if you want to look at his phone to see if he is doing something shady, just explain your insecurity rather than making it into a bigger issue than it needs to be.
Do not accuse him of hiding something. Then he will get defensive and he will not be open to discuss anything else than defending his privacy.
Talk about how it makes You feel that you’re not able to look at his phone. Tell him that you’re feeling insecure when you share your stuff on your phone but don’t get to look at what he has on his. But you should also accept and respect that he might not be ok with letting you look through everything on his phone. Then the trust and respect isn’t there. And also vice versa. If you’re upset that he doesn’t show you stuff then of course you don’t HAVE to show him yours either.

There can be trust without seeing each o

Johanne - 28yo - level 38 -
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7 months ago

others phones. Just be open about your feelings instead of accusing someone of something without grounds for suspicious behavior. If your work on trust is because of earlier infidelity, then you should work on talking about the actions that make you insecure in the relationship. Rather than demanding to se the others phone.

Johanne - 28yo - level 38 -
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7 months ago

If hes refusing to let u into his fone its more then likely hes hiding something. That theres something hes trying to keep hid for some reason. If u give him complete access to ur fone but he doesnt allow u the same curtiousy there is a good chance hes hiding something. Best advice.... Go with ur gut!!

Crystal - 43yo - level 1 -
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6 months ago

What’s funny is ask her what I found in her phone what a joke she was talking to another guy on there in August and she shared in detail what she wanted to do to him

Jeffery - 40yo - level 11 -
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6 months ago

It was not in August or this year 2 years ago and what's a joke is he cheated on me then and he cheated on me now and still won't tell me why he does it but I'm supposed to keep quite and move on like nothing happened but that's normal right ,now that's a joke! Sorry crystal.

Quintana - 43yo - in a relationship for 12 years - Married - 2 - Ceres ca, United States - level 11 -
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5 months ago

Quintana, Jeffrey, I think it no long matters who did what and to who first. If either of you are right then you should probably decide if that's what you want in a relationship. And if both of you are right then you probably both already know you dont want to be in this relationship. I'm sorry, and I hope you both find happiness either together or elsewhere because everyone deserves to

Genevieve - 29yo - level 18 -
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