41 - 1009 - 5 months ago

Maintaining your relationship, loyalty, strong bond with an incarcerated partner? Any thoughts, comments, suggestions??

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5 months ago

Tell them every detail of ur life little or big... When dealing with life alone remember what picture ur shoes on opposite feet. Dont do anything u wouldnt want him or her to do.

Jay - 26yo - level 19 -
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5 months ago

If you love the person make sure to let them know they matter

Amanda - 39yo - level 13 -
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5 months ago

Pray

Pamela - 43yo - level 16 -
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5 months ago

Stay loyal

curtis - 37yo - level 15 -
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5 months ago

Stand by them. Do not ever pass up a chance to show write or tell them you love them. Make them know it with out question. Answer every call and letter. Do not miss a visit. Keep wide open communication. Me and mine made it through that way.

Kimberly - 27yo - level 41 -
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5 months ago

Alot of prayer God will make a way.

Domineyah - 19yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Not to have an incarcerated relationship,unless you are married,keep them as a friend if the love can make it through friendship.then the love will with stand in the relationship

Justin - 36yo - level 12 -
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5 months ago

As long as you keep it real with that person and never leave them to speculate about what’s going on. It would be understood despite the situation. Keep the same routine of visits, calls and commissary. Don’t switch up

Ty - 31yo - level 14 -
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5 months ago

Depends on the crime. Petty crimes- Id write them everyday, talk to him via phone as often as I could.
Serious crimes- divorce.

Kelsey - 27yo - level 36 -
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5 months ago

Send snail mail letters where you can update them on what’s happening in your life. You can include a funny joke to make them smile. I would also suggest playing a little questions game (similar to happy couple) at the end of every letter... include 3-5 questions that helps you get to know them better or just silly ones like “which superhero would you be and why?” ...these help distract them from the realities of the situation, even if it’s for a brief moment. Perfume your letters or kiss them with some lipstick. Include some photos of yourself. For every holiday mail them a cute or funny card.

Make sure to ask about their day and how things are going, their feelings, etc. you will need to be their rock and show support.

Eve - 33yo - level 9 -
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5 months ago

Tell them about the small things In your life. The things that they miss the most. Tell them how much they mean to you. If you guys argue remember that they are dealing with the same situation just from a diffrent perspective and it's hard for both of you. Stay true to them in all sense. Dont talk to someone who may be seen as someone who could want to be with you. If you need to talk to someone then write your s.o. a letter and tell them about it. Even if it is about them. Being 100% honest about everything is the best way.

Jackie - 37yo - level 26 -
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5 months ago

If it's my husband yes. As long as it's not an unforgivable crime & he's actually guilty. My loyalty is forever. Otherwise it depends on how healthy that relationship is.

Anita - 40yo - level 15 -
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5 months ago

As long as it wasn’t an unforgivable crime, don’t care what other people think! ❤️

But also, if you don’t mind me asking, since your partner is incarcerated, how are you two using this app? 🤔

Marc - 24yo - level 29 -
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5 months ago

Lol

Christina - 33yo - in a relationship for 1 year - Dating - level 27 -
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5 months ago

Can it be done? Yes. Will it be easy? No. You will both be changing and not necessarily together. If your love is strong you can make the necessary adjustments, but you will both have to stay focused on the future. I wish you the best.

Christian - 53yo - level 30 -
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5 months ago

Just pray only way

Daniel - level 4 -
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5 months ago

I wrote to my fiance EVERY NIGHT for 3 months. Sprayed letters with my perfume and sent them out 1-2 times a week depending on how long the letters were. Told him EVERYTHING. Sent him pictures too and cards.

Jessi - 26yo - level 26 -
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5 months ago

Stay loyal

Jessica - 32yo - level 9 -
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5 months ago

Enjoy the time you do have together and always focus on the positive handle the negatives on your own! Have a support group

Samantha - 32yo - level 6 -
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5 months ago

I would reccomend staying in contact as often as possible. write when you can't call or visit and talk about them often. Keep them in the conversation and circulating in your environment so you don't forget their importance in your life.

Briana - 33yo - level 4 -
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5 months ago

Instead of the standard letter, write down thoughts and feelings daily for a week then send the letter every Sunday. Gives each of you something greater to look forward to. Keep a positive outlook.

Jordon - 52yo - level 37 -
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5 months ago

being completely transparent is the best way. When they get out there will always be a moment of doubt do to the constraints in the relationship. Honesty will make that an easier transition.

Donald - 40yo - level 3 -
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5 months ago

Try to stay positive when communicating with your partner, and talk about the things you look forward to doing with them. Remind them often not only that you love them but also what it is that you love about them. Also reminisce with them often.

Stephanie - 34yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

For me there are only two things to make a relationship works,
1. Trust
2. Understanding

Tia - 28yo - level 4 -
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5 months ago

If you want it to work and they do as well, put 100% trust abs loyalty into the relationship and it won't waver.

Ashley - 29yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

Communication

Shaina Mawyer - 37yo - level 18 -
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5 months ago

For my fiance, we would talk any chance we got even if sometimes it was a few minutes of silence, he also would like that I still wrote him letters( something about hearing your name called during mail call makes them feel good maybe even important.) I also made sure he had money on his commissary without him asking( made him feel like I was still thinking of his wants and needs.) I think as long as you both want to stay together you will. Last bit of advice just keep reminding that you love him and are down with him

Ashleigh - 28yo - level 6 -
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5 months ago

Make them feel like they are still an important factor in your everyday life. Tell them every detail of everyday and everything you do. If you aren’t very talented in descriptive vocabulary, I would recommend reading an article or two on it. When you talk to them try to get them to be able to picture what you’re talking about as you talk about it. This way it gives them reminders and things to hold onto and to have hope for. The rest goes without saying. Hold him down, don’t be scandalous or do sneaky or dumb things, like cheat or have an affair but more so, don’t have an emotional affair either. It’s easy to find someone that’s willing to “talk” about the situation. Because they “understand” but odds usually are that person is really just trying to swoop their way in while your partners locked down or out of the way. It is extremely conniving, child like and inappropriate. But unfortunately, it’s extremely common. Be observant and smart and remind your partner that you are with them every step of the way and you count down everyday until the day you can hold them in your arms again.

Kourtney - 26yo - level 19 -
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5 months ago

I'm currently going through this myself and it has honestly been one of the hardest things I've had to do. But worth every minute.
I agree with what others have already suggested.... tell them EVERYTHING about your day. Even when it seems like a normal boring day to you, remember that all they have is time and walls. Your boring day is the highlight of theirs. Full open and honest communication is a must!!!

Samantha - 31yo - level 7 -
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5 months ago

Incorporate them in your life everyday, mo matter how small. Even if they don't know you do and it will make it seem they are there and it will keep you in the mind set that they are apart of you still. Plus for sure keep open communication. Telling them if you are struggling with them being gone, it's ok to feel your feelings but if you honestly want the relationship still you gotta communicate even the bad. And be willing to put effort in when they need you to. They can't do much in there but you can show that when the relationship struggles you will stand up for it?

Rachel - 31yo - level 10 -
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5 months ago

I used to be a prison guard... all I can say is don’t miss visits. Make every one you can... and let him tell you and vent to you about the hell hes in. If you have kids, keep their art work and school work to show him.

Hayden - 30yo - level 23 -
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5 months ago

Stay in touch as much as possible.. letters and phone calls

Crystal - 40yo - level 42 -
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5 months ago

Well first off I loved Terann with all my heart, I didn't fail as I thought I had,she didn't want a relationship she was a slut and I couldn't change that

Darwin Boyd - 51yo - level 1 -
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5 months ago

It's possible. But it would also depend on how much time. It meant letters and budgeting for phone calls. And flying from out of state for visits. And then ultimately moving states when he got out. So it's been done it just depends on your level of commitment.

Neecee - 43yo - level 14 -
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5 months ago

Stay strong and true to your partner an you'll enjoy it when they get out! :)

Latoiya - 40yo - level 8 -
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5 months ago

I think if that person is for you, then you do what you need to in an effort to keep the relationship flowing.

Jocelyn - 38yo - level 16 -
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5 months ago

Just be straight with them because I was in that type of situation I told her I know u have needs to but know if your wanting to be with me when I get out you have to drop them

Harold mawyer - 40yo - level 18 -
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5 months ago

Lots of letters

Tabitha - 35yo - level 15 -
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5 months ago

A true teammate is committed to the team regardless of the circumstances at that moment. In the end what matters is wether or not you feel your with your soulmate. If so their sacrifices become yours. At same time it's their responsibility to ensure not leaving alone again.

Stud - 43yo - level 36 -
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5 months ago

Just remembering that you or their escape. Messages, phone calls, letters are always an out from the inside. You don't always have to keep the correspondence light, but try not to end anything too heavy or burdensome. Also make plans down the road together, TOGETHER. Like for St. Patrick's day we should do_____. Then plan that out over time in detail. Even couples united take a long time to make good solid plans, so this will help occupy both of your time and eat away at the time apart.

Brett - 37yo - level 10 -
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4 months ago

How are you

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5 months ago

Ive been incarcerated and in a relationship, just remember life for them is on hold , lots will be said and promised and not upheld once that person if out, unless its a baby daddy id keep open options and yourself happy

Casey - 33yo - level 14 -
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5 months ago

That's rough. You should get a professional help

Emy - 20yo - level 8 -
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