3 - 199 - 7 months ago

I recently found out that my boyfriend has been watching porn to get off. Why will he master bate but not have sex with me. It's really hurts my feelings. How do I know hes attracted me still? I'm always willing to have sex, so why does he Jack off instead of having sex with me?

Nicole - 34yo - level 13

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6 months ago

A survey was done that asked married men if they masterbated to porn. The result was 98% did, and 2% lied about it. I think it involves two things: 1) The seduction of Porn and 2) The convenience of masterbation. A man can relieve his urges quicker to porn than in real sex to a long term partner. Porn is not great for sex life, other than maybe learn some things to try in the bedroom. Sex is often mixed with fantasy and Porn is pure fantasy when it comes to masterbation. A committed man doesn't want a relationship with a Porn Star. They are not your competition. So you are not in a battle against what he is fantasizing about. Some men are shy when it comes to telling a partner what exactly they like in sex. Ask him what kind of sexual fantasies he enjoys the most and why. That will give you some clues what to do next. But, really some are addicted to Porn and that is something only he can admit to and change. You can ask if he feels he's addicted to porn.

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7 months ago

Maybe suggest watching it together then tug him off or give him a blowie then he'll definetly know ur keen maybe he thinks the same as u show him u want him

Sharna - 34yo - level 21 -
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7 months ago

That's a tough one... Cuz I'd be pretty upset and insecure about that too. Especially if you are willing, able, and ready to go at the times he's been doing it. I would bring it up tho. If that was me in that situation I would make a comment like "you don't have to watch porn let's just do it" and see what his response is.... If he still would rather watch porn and play with himself then I'd start talking to him about if you want to stay together if he's not attracted to you anymore, if that's the reason he doesn't want to do it. Maybe he just needs more simulation to get him off. Which if that's the case... Maybe try new things or something like that.

Christina - 33yo - in a relationship for 1 year - Dating - level 27 -
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7 months ago

Thank you. I'm already pretty vulnerable when it comes to my emotions. I've been rejected so many times by him that I am nervous to initiate anything sexual. I'm going to try to explain my perspective of the situation and why it hurts me so much. Hopefully we can figure this out cuz I'm head or heels but if he's not even really into me like that then what are we doing here...

Nicole - 34yo - level 13 -
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7 months ago

I feel this so hard. Hugs. Nothing super helpful to add but just.. hugs.

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